SO the weeks and months passed by and it was now quite a long time since that first night when the shadow, a very real shadow, for it was "the shadow of death," fallen upon Louie's heart; it was Saturday again, but Saturday morning, and when all in the house were gathered together in the dining-room for morning reading, some very solemn words fell upon her ears and entered into her heart.
These words were part of the twenty-second verse of the fifth chapter of Matthew; they were such very plain words that even Louie was able to understand something of their meaning, and all through the day they kept returning again and again to her mind. The words were only five, but they were quite enough to fill Louie's mind; yes, and enough to fill many a greater and wiser mind than hers. No wisdom of man could ever find an answer to those words, but there is a blessed answer to them, an answer so simple that even the simple mind of a child can take it in, and yet an answer so great that it can drive away all the terrible thoughts brought by those five solemn and dreadful words—"In danger of the judgment." The answer is this—"Even Jesus, who delivered us from the wrath to come."
What sweet peace might have filled Louie's heart, instead of fears, if she had heard and had received by faith that blessed answer! The heart that trusts in Jesus need feel no fear, even at the thought of judgment, for Jesus has said, "He that heareth my word and believeth on him that sent me hath everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but is passed from death unto life." Louie had, I dare say, often heard these words; perhaps, among the morning verses, she had even learned them, but her heart had never taken them in, and it is “with the heart" man believes unto righteousness.
Louie did not think all day long about the five words, still they were fastened securely in her mind, and several times, in the midst of her lessons or her play, she was obliged to stop and listen while they were repeated, as if by a voice within her. Perhaps you think that with such a grave thought Louie would be very good that day, but it is love that constrains the heart to do what is pleasing to God; fear cannot bring forth in us any of those good fruits which faith and love produce. Fear may bring bondage, or sometimes God in mercy uses our fear to make us cry out, as the Philippian jailor did in the earthquake long ago, “What must I do to be saved?" But Louie did not cry out, she only took counsel with her own heart, and that heart which, like every other heart, was “deceitful above all things and desperately wicked," could not lead her in the way of peace. So it happened, that very evening, that notwithstanding all the grave thoughts and all the fears, Louie, in a fit of heedlessness, did something which she knew to be wrong; then, a great number of other wrong and foolish things which she had said and done rushed into her mind and, with them, the remembrance of that Saturday night when first she had learned that she was a dying creature; and along with all this came another thought which Louie could not refuse, for it was from the word of God: "It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment."
How true this seemed! How real to Louie now! Not merely some words from a book, however sacred and true, but a fact, and a fact about herself; Louie felt that it was she herself who was "in danger of the judgment;" she felt as if, at that moment, she were the only person upon the earth; a lonely, guilty, terrified child, forced to go, notwithstanding herself, on a swift, uninterrupted journey to death, "and after death the judgment." What sad and terrible feelings! Louie was making a mistake, a mistake which many make, the mistake of taking her own heart as her counselor instead of pouring out the thoughts and fears of that heart to God, and learning His thoughts. The thoughts that God thought towards this poor little child were thoughts of peace and not of evil, but Louie did not wait to learn those precious thoughts then.
If, instead of only turning over the contents of her own dark heart, Louie had turned over the leaves of her Bible, she would have found out another mistake which she was making: it is quite true that it is appointed unto men once to die and after this the judgment, and those who pass away from earth without Christ, and consequently without eternal life, will have to taste the dreadful realities of death and judgment; but, if Louie had looked into her Bible, she would have found out that she was beginning at the second instead of at the first word of the sentence which had come to her mind; now, this first word makes all the difference to that solemn sentence, though it is a very little word—As—"As it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment." Now Louie's verse will not make sense by itself, no, and it is not intended to be read by itself; you must go on, and then you will get a blessed message for your heart to rest on. “As it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment, So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many, and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time, without sin, unto salvation."
Oh! how different are the thoughts of God, thoughts of mercy, thoughts of grace and love! how different from the thoughts of our hearts! How different was Louie, taught by her own thoughts, her heart burdened with the remembrance of many sins and the just fear of the wrath of God, looking forward to death and judgment, from what a child who receives the whole of this precious word in Hebrews 9:27, 2827And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: 28So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation. (Hebrews 9:27‑28) would be. Instead of the remembrance of sins would be the remembrance of the love of Christ, “who loved me and gave himself for me;" instead of fear would be trust and peace and joy; and instead of looking forward to death and judgment, looking forward to see Him, "even Jesus who delivered us from the wrath to come."
There was no more play for Louie that evening; even the other children caught the shadow of this cloud and became dull and quiet, and no one was sorry when bed-time came; but how sad it was to lie down under a dark, heavy cloud, when Heaven was bright with God's own light and love, and the way was open for Louie, as she had often read in those words of the Savior Jesus—"I am the Door; by Me if any man enter in he shall be saved."