UN, deux, trois; one, two, three; quatre, cinq; four, five;" then the voice ceased, and closing the French exercise book with a weary sigh, Lottie Gray looked into the small garden, where a few stunted lilac bushes were beginning to look green, for the spring time with its soft air and sunshine made its presence felt, even in the crowded streets of the busy city where Lottie had lived ever since she was old enough to remember anything.
Lottie was a strange little girl; every one who knew her said so, and for once at least every one spoke the truth. Only five summers had passed over the head of that lonely child, but in words and ways Lottie was old and grave beyond her years. Her mother had died when Lottie (an only child) was but a few days old, and soon after her father went abroad, leaving his little daughter in the care of her grandparents.
Mr. and Mrs. Bell were not unkind to Lottie, but they were both getting old, and perhaps because it was long since their own children had been little boys and girls, they forgot that their little granddaughter needed playtime as well as study hours.
Mrs. Bell said Lottie must not play with, or even speak to, any of the neighbors' children, as by doing so, she might learn rude words or ways, and as Mrs. Bell's will was law at the time of which I am writing, Lottie had never known the delight of a merry game of play with young companions. Lottie did not go to school, but home lessons took up several hours every day.
But we must return to Lottie, whom at the beginning of my story we left busy over her French exercise.
Lottie had been taught to read when she was not more than three years old, and books were the only companions she had ever known. The Bible had not been one of her lesson books, as Mrs. Bell, who thought so young a child as Lottie could not understand it, did not quite approve of Lottie's reading it; still, it was not a forbidden book, and many happy hours were spent by the lonely child over its pages, and when Lottie closed her French exercise with the weary sigh of which I told you, her thoughts went back to some Bible words she had been reading the day before, and in almost a whisper she repeated over and over again, "Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire." (Matt. 25:4141Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: (Matthew 25:41).) Would the terrible words ever be said to her? would Jesus send her away from Him? She had been told that God loved good children, but Lottie was not good, and she knew it; sometimes she disobeyed her grand-mamma, and more than once she had told a falsehood. What should she do? What would become of her? And covering her face with her hands, she began to cry bitterly.
Poor child, with all the Bible reading it was very plain she did not know that it was for sinners Christ had died, nor how, as the Son of man He came to seek and to save the lost; and no loving voice had ever told her of the Good Shepherd who gave His life for the sheep. And as the first thought of every unsaved soul is a desire to hide from the eye of God, no wonder poor Lottie was afraid.
Lottie was alone in the schoolroom, but one Eye saw her distress, one Heart knew how real her trouble of soul was. Yes; the Lord Jesus knew all about it; and in His own time and way His own hand would draw the trembling child to Himself, the only ark of safety.
Lottie's tears were still falling when her grandmamma entered the room, and asked the cause of her sorrow. Lottie would rather have been silent, but when Mrs. Bell asked a question she expected an answer, and of this Lottie was quite aware. So she sobbed out, "Oh grandma, which do you think I shall be, a goat or a sheep?”
Mrs. Bell looked surprised, but not at all pleased by Lottie's question; but she only said, “Why Lottie, I really do not know what you are talking about. I shall have to say I cannot allow you to read the Bible if you get such strange fancies, and talk about things children do not understand. But I am engaged now, and cannot stay to hear your French lesson, so you may walk in the garden for half-an-hour. And you may take Victoria," Mrs. Bell added in a kinder tone, as her eye rested on the pale, tearstained face of the child.
Victoria was Lottie's favorite doll, almost as large as a real baby, and permission to play with it was only given on special occasions; so Lottie dried her tears, and in the amusement of dressing her doll forgot, for a time at least, that her question had not been answered.
Five years from the time of which I have been telling you, had passed away, and Lottie had grown taller and stronger, her lessons too were longer, but Lottie did not make any trouble of that, for her desire was to fit herself to become a teacher of others. She was still very fond of reading, and took great interest in Bible stories. Lottie was still ignorant of the way of salvation, but the thought of God did not fill her with the terror it had done five years before. For two short Bible verses, known and loved by Lottie, always seemed to her like stars shining out through a dark night. One was, "In thee the fatherless findeth mercy" (Hos. 14:33Asshur shall not save us; we will not ride upon horses: neither will we say any more to the work of our hands, Ye are our gods: for in thee the fatherless findeth mercy. (Hosea 14:3)); the other, "I love them that love me, and those that seek me early shall find me." (Prov. 8:1717I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. (Proverbs 8:17).)
I had almost forgotten to tell you, that as nothing had been heard of Lottie's father for several years, he was supposed to be dead, and her grandma always spoke of her as an orphan. Lottie wanted very much to be a christian girl, but she did not know God's way of peace, so instead of taking her place before Him as a lost and sinful child, and trusting herself simply to Christ, she kept on trying to be good, and finding all her trying only end in disappointment and failure.
But the time of Lottie's blessing was drawing very near—the time when the Good Shepherd would find His little straying lamb. But how and when it all came about, I must tell you in my next chapter.
WHEN you at night lay down your head
Upon your pillow for repose,
While angels watch around your bed,
And slumbers light your eyelids close.
Could you from that sweet sleep awake,
And then lift up your eyes on high,
Before the day begins to break,
And see the rich and sparkling sky—
Then I would tell you of His Name
Who shining on us from afar,
Thus says, "I soon shall come again—
I am the Bright and Morning Star.”
May you through all your nights and days
Live in obedience to His word,
And know, and love, and bless, and praise
The name of Jesus Christ the Lord.