“WILL you please step into our cottage for a few minutes? I have a blind daughter, and ever since I read her the little book you left last week, she has been wanting quite badly to speak to you. If you could give her a word of comfort I should take it very kind of you, for something, though I cannot rightly understand what it is, seems to be troubling her, poor thing!'
“Thus invited and encouraged, our visitor, Mrs. S—, entered our sitting-room, which, though small, was cheerful and neatly furnished. At first I felt too shy and nervous to speak freely, but she soon drew from me the story of my soul-trouble, as I confessed with tears how much I desired to be saved, and to know it.
“Her heart seemed too full for many words, but when she said, 'I am so glad, shall we thank the Lord?' I was surprised. It seemed strange, almost unkind, I thought, that she should be glad, or thank God because I was so unhappy.
“But I began to understand something of her meaning, as very simply she gave thanks that I had been aroused to feel my need of salvation, and prayed that she might be guided to the right scriptures, and speak the suited words, that the eyes of my heart might be opened to see the love of God to me, a poor lost sinner.
“I can never forget that afternoon. For more than an hour Mrs. S—sat by my side, holding my hand in hers, as she read or repeated passages of scripture, showing how God was not only satisfied with the finished work of His Son upon the cross, but so glorified by it, that for His sake He could not only forgive, but receive as His much-loved children, any sinners who came to God by Him.
“Mrs. S—'s words were, I thought, very much like Marion's letters, but in some way which I could not explain even to myself, the way in which she told me of God's way of peace, seemed to make it clearer and simpler than it had ever appeared to me before. Yet I felt afraid to say that I was saved, though in my heart I knew that I really did believe on the Lord Jesus, and was longing to trust Him as my own precious Savior.
“I remember saying that I thought it must have been very easy for the people who lived in Egypt on the night of the Passover to know that they were safe, for if the lamb had been killed and the blood sprinkled in God's appointed way, the destroying angel could not enter.
“Her answer was, ‘But suppose among those blood sheltered people there had been just one who did not believe that what God had said was quite true, who thought that perhaps, after all, God may not be quite so good as His word. Would that one, if inside the house, have been less safe than the rest of the family?'
“‘Yes, quite as safe,' I said, ‘for it was God who had said, "When I see the blood, I will pass over you.”
“She answered, ‘Yes, safe, quite safe! but would such an one have been happy?'
“I replied, ‘No; for doubting what God had said would have kept them out of all the joy of knowing that they were safe.'
“As I spoke, I saw in the doubting, trembling Israelite a picture of myself. I, too, had dared to doubt the word of God, ‘who cannot lie.' Tears of shame and sorrow filled my eyes.
“There was silence for a few moments, then Mrs. S said, very gently “'But God commendeth his love to ward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us' (Rom. 5:88But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)), and added, ‘Won't you let Him commend His love to you, Ella?'
“I could not answer; I only bowed my head, as, with a full heart, I took salvation as the free gift of God, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
“Again we knelt in prayer; this time my heart overflowed in thanksgiving. I was saved, and I could and did rejoice in the knowledge of it.
“Very few even of the better educated blind possess a whole Bible. One in Dr. Moon's embossed type requires to be bound in sixty-four volumes, and costs between six and seven pounds.
“I had several portions of the New Testament, some of which I had obtained as prizes, others had been presented to me on leaving school. I began to read the gospels in a way that I had never done before. The Bible had indeed become a new book to me. But when I had finished the gospels, and began to read the Acts of the Apostles, then my real difficulties began.
“I saw from many passages that the early disciples came together very simply to remember the Lord's death in the breaking of bread. They did not assemble in costly buildings, or use beautiful music in their meetings. I often wished that I had lived in the days of the apostles, or as that could not be, that I could find some ‘upper room' where a few poor (I did not mind how few, or how poor) believers were seeking to worship God in spirit and in truth.
“Mrs. S—was still my weekly, and I need hardly say always welcome visitor. Noticing one day that I seemed less cheerful than usual, she kindly inquired into the cause of my depression.
“When I confided my feelings to my sympathizing friend, she said, ‘Ever since the Lord, dear Ella, spoke peace to your soul I have been praying that He would so attract your heart to Himself that you might be content to leave all, and follow Him.'
“She then told me that Christians in many places had passed through what she called the same kind of exercises. They had seen from the teaching of scripture that Christ and Christ alone must be the gathering-point of the Christian company. The Holy Ghost would, where His presence and power were owned, lead the worship of saints thus gathered.
“I hardly know which was the greatest, my surprise or delight, at finding that though few in number, and weak in all outward things, a part of that company with whom Mrs. S— had for some years been in happy fellowship was to be found in the place in which I was then living.
“The next Lord's-day morning found me at the meeting, and though some weeks passed before I was admitted to the full privileges of the gathered company and allowed to unite with them in the breaking of bread, I do not think I felt impatient.
“I had passed at school as having a good knowledge of scripture. I could answer questions on the leading events of Old and New Testament history, as well as repeat several psalms and chapters from memory, but I was beginning to find how little I had understood the true spirit and meaning of the written word; and as I now desired to take my true place as a learner, the Bible readings were a great source of help and strength to me, as was also the weekly gathering for prayer.
“Waiting time came to an end at last, and one bright morning in the early part of the year 18-I for the first time in my life remembered the Lord in the simple way so dear to His heart, that He not only said on the night of His betrayal to ‘his own,’ ‘this do in remembrance of me’ (Luke 22:1919And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me. (Luke 22:19)), but from the glory He spoke of it to the Apostle Paul. (1 Cor. 11:2323For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, That the Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread: (1 Corinthians 11:23))
“A praise song was making very sweet music in my heart that morning, and though I have to own with shame and sorrow how often the sigh of weariness, or the murmur of discontent have made their discordant notes in that song, it has never died out, and counting upon the grace that can alone keep me from falling, I desire to go on till faith shall be changed to sight, and I have seen Him whom ‘having not seen we love’; ‘The Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me,’ and on the way to that glad moment, I often sing -
‘E’en now let my ways, Lord,
Be bright with Thy praise, Lord,
For brief are the days e’er Thy coming again.’”
-C.J.L.
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