We believe the whole business of Christian education is summed up in two brief sentences; namely, count on God for your children; train your children for God. To take the first without the second, is antinomianism; to take the second without the first, is legality; to take both together is sound practical Christianity—true religion in the sight of God and man.
It is the sweet privilege of every Christian parent to count, with all possible confidence, upon God for his children. But then we must remember that there is, in the government of God, an inseparable link connecting this privilege with the most solemn responsibility as to training. For a Christian parent to speak of counting on God for the salvation of his children, and for the moral integrity of their future career in this world, while the duty of training is neglected, is simply a miserable delusion.
We press this most solemnly upon all Christian parents, but especially upon those who have just entered upon the relationship. There is great danger of shirking our duty to our children, of shifting it upon others, or neglecting it altogether. We do not like the trouble of it; we shrink from the constant worry as it seems to us. But we shall find that the trouble, and the worry, and the sorrow, and the heart-scalding arising from the neglect of our duty will be a thousand times worse than all that can be involved in the discharge of it. To every true lover of God there is deep delight in treading the path of duty. Every step taken in that path strengthens our confidence to go on. And then we can always count upon the infinite resources that we have in God, when we are keeping His commandments. We have simply to betake ourselves, morning by morning, hour by hour, to our Father's exhaustless treasury, and there get all we need in the way of grace and wisdom and moral power to enable us to discharge aright the holy functions of our relationship. "He giveth more grace." This always holds good. But if we, instead of seeking grace to discharge our duty, seek ease in neglecting it, we are simply laying up a store of sorrow which will accumulate rapidly and fall upon us heavily at a future day. "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting." Gal. 6:7, 87Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. (Galatians 6:7‑8).
This is the condensed statement of a great principle of God's moral government—a principle of universal application, and one which applies with singular force to the subject before us. As we sow, in the matter of the education of our children, so we shall, most assuredly, reap. There is no getting out of this.
But let not any dear Christian parent whose eye may scan these lines, be at all discouraged or fainthearted. There is no reason whatever for this; but, on the contrary, every reason for the most joyful confidence in God. "The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it and is safe." Pro. 18:1010The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. (Proverbs 18:10). Let us tread with a firm step the path of duty; and then we can count with unwavering confidence upon our ever faithful and gracious God for the need of each day as it rolls along. And in due time we shall reap the precious fruit of our labor, according to the appointment of God, and in pursuance of the enactments of His moral government.
We do not attempt to lay down any rules or regulations for the training. We do not believe in such. Children cannot be trained by dry rules. Who could attempt to embody in rules all that is wrapped up in that one sentence, "Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:44And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4))?
Here we have, indeed, a golden rule which takes in everything from the cradle to maturity. Yes, we repeat, "from the cradle"; for we are most fully persuaded that all true Christian training begins at the very beginning. Some of us have little idea of how soon and how sharply children begin to observe, and how much they take in as they gaze at us through their dear expressive eyes.
And then how marvelously susceptible they are of the moral atmosphere which surrounds them! Yes; and it is this very moral atmosphere that constitutes the grand secret of training our families. Our children should be permitted to breathe from day to day the atmosphere of love and peace, purity, holiness, and true practical righteousness. This has an amazing effect in forming the character. It is a great thing for our children to see their parents walking in love, in harmony, in tender care one for the other, in love and sympathy for the poor. Who can measure the moral effect upon a child of the very first angry look or unkind word between father and mother? And in cases where the daily history is one of unsightly strife and contention, the father contradicting the mother, and the mother disparaging the father, how are children to grow in such an atmosphere as this?
The fact is, it is not within the compass of human language to set forth all that is involved in the moral tone of the entire family circle-the spirit, style, and atmosphere of the whole household. It is not a question of rank, position, or wealth, but of the beauteous grace of God shining out in all. There may be the stalled ox, or the dinner of herbs; these are not, at present, in question. But what we press on all fathers and mothers, all heads of households, high and low, rich and poor, learned and ignorant, is the necessity of training their children in an atmosphere of love and peace, truth and holiness, purity and kindness. Thus will their households be the practical exhibition of the character of God; and all who come in contact with them will, at least, have before their eyes a practical witness to the truth of Christianity.
But ere we turn from the subject of domestic government, there is one special point to which we desire to call the attention of Christian parents a point of the utmost possible moment, yet too much neglected among us, and that is the need of inculcating upon our children the duty of implicit obedience. This cannot be too strongly insisted upon, inasmuch as it not only affects the order and comfort of our households, but, what is infinitely more important, it concerns the glory of God, and the practical carrying out of His truth. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." And again, "Children, obey your parents in all things: for, this is well pleasing unto the Lord." (Eph. 6:11Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1); Col. 3:2020Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (Colossians 3:20).)
This is absolutely essential and must be firmly insisted upon from the very outset. The child must be taught to obey from his earliest moments. He must be trained to submit himself to divinely appointed authority, and that, as the Apostle puts it, "in all things." If this be not attended to from the very first, it will be found almost impossible to attend to it afterward. If the will be al lowed to act, it grows with terrible rapidity, and each day's growth increases the difficulty of bringing it under control. Hence, the parent should begin at once to establish his authority on a basis of moral strength and firmness; and, when this is done, he may be as gentle and tender as the most loving heart could desire. We do not believe in sternness, harshness, or severity. They are by no means necessary, and are generally the accompaniments of bad training and the proofs of bad temper. God has put into the parent's hand the reins of government, and the rod of authority; but it is not needful—if we may so express it—to be continually chucking the reins and brandishing the rod, which are the sure proofs of moral weakness. Whenever you hear a man continually talking about his authority, you may be sure his authority is not properly established. There is a quiet dignity about true moral power which is perfectly unmistakable.
Furthermore, we judge it to be a mistake for a parent to be perpetually crossing a child's will in matters of no moment. Such a line of action tends to break the child's spirit, whereas the object of all sound training is to break the will. The child should ever be impressed with the idea that the parent seeks only his real good, and that if he has to refuse or prohibit anything, it is not for the purpose of curtailing the child's enjoyment, but simply for the promotion of his true interests.
One grand object of domestic government is to protect each member of the household in the enjoyment of his privileges, and in the proper discharge of his relative duties. Now, inasmuch as it is the divinely appointed duty of a child to obey, the parent is responsible to see this duty discharged; for if it be neglected, some other members of the domestic circle must suffer.
There can be no greater nuisance in a house than a naughty willful child; and, as a general rule, wherever you find such, it is to be traced to bad training. We are aware, of course, that children differ in temper and disposition, that some children have peculiarly strong wills and sturdy tempers, and are therefore specially hard to manage.
All this we quite under stand; but it leaves wholly untouched the question of the parent's responsibility to insist upon implicit obedience. He can always count on God for the needed grace and power to carry out this point. Even in the case of a widowed mother, we believe, most assuredly, she can look to God to enable her to command her children and her household. In no case, therefore, should parental authority be surrendered for, a moment.
It sometimes happens that through injudicious fondness the parent is tempted to pamper the will of the child; but it is sowing to the flesh, and must yield corruption. It is not true love at all to indulge a child's will; neither can it possibly minister to his true happiness or legitimate enjoyment. An over-indulged, self-willed child is miserable himself, and a grievous infliction on all who have to do with him.
It is essential to family peace, harmony, and comfort, that all the members should "consider one another." We are responsible to seek the good and the happiness of those around us, and not our own. If all would but remember this, what different households we should have! and what a different tale would families have to tell! Every Christian household should be the reflection of the divine character. The atmosphere should just be the very atmosphere of heaven. How is this to be? Simply by each one, parents and children, seeking to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, and manifest His Spirit. He never pleased Himself, never sought His own interest in anything. He did always the thing that pleased the Father. He came to serve and to give. He went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil. Thus it was ever with the most blessed One- the gracious, loving, sympathizing Friend of all the sons and daughters of want, weakness, and sorrow; and if only the various members of each Christian family were formed on this perfect model, we should, at least, realize something of the power and efficacy of personal and domestic Christianity, which, blessed be God, can ever be maintained and exhibited notwithstanding t h e hopeless ruin of the professing church. "Thou and thy house" suggests a great golden principle which runs through the volume of God from beginning to end. In every age, under every dispensation, in the days of the patriarchs, in the days of the law, and in the days of Christianity, we find, to our exceeding comfort and encouragement, that personal and domestic godliness has its place as something grateful to the heart of God and to the glory of His holy name.
This we consider to be most consolatory at all times, but more particularly at a time like the present when the professing church seems so rapidly sinking into gross worldliness and open infidelity;
and not this only, but when those who most earnestly desire to walk in obedience to the Word of God, and to act on the grand foundation truth of the unity of the body, find it so difficult to maintain a corporate testimony. In view of all this, we may well bless God with overflowing hearts that personal and family piety can always be maintained, and that from the heart and the home of every Christian a constant stream of praise may ascend to the throne of God, and a stream of active benevolence flow out to a needy, sorrowful, sin-stricken world. May it be so more and more, through the mighty ministry of God the Holy Ghost, that God, in all things, may be glorified in the hearts and homes of His beloved people!