131. “Gamma;’ Wallingford. Scripture says, “How can two walk together except they be agreed?” Is not this a pointed reply to your question? There are two things necessary to make a marriage union what it ought to be; in the first place, the parties ought to be equally yoked; and, in the second place, they ought to be properly matched. The first involves the authority of Christ and the glory of God; the second involves the comfort and happiness of the married pair. There are hundreds who, though they are not unequally yoked, inasmuch as they are both in the Lord; arc, nevertheless, very badly matched; there is no congeniality of taste; no suitability of temper; no harmony of mind. Hence it is that one so often sees, in the homes of Christians, so much that is dishonoring to the Lord, and wholly unworthy of those who bear His Name. The husband and wife should be, emphatically, one. They are, according to the divine institution of marriage—that holy and honorable ordinance— “one flesh;” and they ought to be one in heart, one in sympathy, one in purpose. Nothing can be more sad than to witness a continual jarring and bickering between man and wife. Such a state of things must exert a most baneful influence upon the whole domestic circle. No doubt there may be faults on both sides. This is not the question. What we feel is this, that a great deal of what is so deplorable in domestic life might be avoided if there were more serious and earnest waiting upon God, in singleness of heart, that He might guide in the matter. Surely God would not bring people together who are unsuited in every way. True, He may and does overrule such things, and use them, as wholesome discipline, for the breaking down of what is of self in both husband and wife. But this is another thing altogether. We believe it is a total mistake for persons to come together who are not thoroughly suited in tastes, in temper, in sentiment, and in moral tone. It is a terrible thing to discover, when it is too late, that one is tied for life to a person with whom one has not a particle of real sympathy. But can this be the case with true Christians? Most assuredly. We see it, alas! too often. It is not enough that a marriage is in the Lord, it should also be of the Lord. And we have no hesitation in saying that it cannot be of the Lord to have the husband going one way, and the wife going another. God would have them going together in everything.
We did not mean to give such a long answer to your question; but we do not regret it, inasmuch as we are most anxious to raise a warning voice in the ears of all our young friends, and to exhort them very earnestly to set the Lord before them in this matter, and to be governed by the fear and love of His Name, and not by the mere impulse of natural affection.
132. “M. A. W.,” Radstock. Thanks for your precious lines.
133. “A Troubled Sister in the Lord,” Brixton. Ponder Psalm 32:88I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. (Psalm 32:8). We have found it unspeakably precious: “I will guide thee with mine eye.” Is not that enough? Need we look to a human guide? Do we want Hobab’s eyes when we have the eyes of the living God? Again, look at Jas. 1:5, 65If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. 6But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. (James 1:5‑6). Let your troubled spirit stay itself upon these two precious portions. Wait on the Lord. He will hear and answer. Do not move till He gives you light. Stand still till He opens the way; and the moment He opens it, do you move forward. May He comfort you!
134. “T. F.,” Aylesbury. Your interesting note came duly to hand, and your request was attended to in our feeble way.
135. “J. D.,” Yateshead. We have repeatedly gone into the subject of your note. See “Nine Years’ Answers to Correspondents,” to be had either from Mr. Morrish, 24, Warwick Lane; or Mr. Broom, Paternoster Row.
136. “E. P.,” Stafford. Your letter and manuscript have come to hand.
137. “Μ. H.,” Brixton. Your case is painfully interesting. We are thoroughly persuaded that if there be simple faith in waiting upon God, He will heal and restore. He is the Hearer and Answerer of prayer. We should recommend you to retire from all creature confidences and cast yourself simply upon the Living God. You have been looking to human cisterns, and we judge, too, you have been over anxious to get well. Seek grace to lie passive in your Father’s hands, and know no will but His. When once your heart can say, “Thy will be done,” the great moral end of the discipline is reached. We pray that you may reap a rich harvest of blessing from all the painful exercise through which you are now passing. May God comfort you, dear friend.
138. “I. K,” Belfast. We understand Gal. 2:2020I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20) to mean simply that Paul lived by faith in the Son of God. That blessed servant so reckoned the old man as dead, and so lived in the power of the Spirit, that he could say, “To me to live is Christ.” And let us remember that this was not merely the language of an apostle, as though it were peculiar to him; it is the proper language of a christian man. “I am crucified with Christ”—that is the old “I”—“nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me”—that is the new “I.” Again, he says, “I through law am dead to law that I might live to God.” In short, it is the complete setting aside of the old, fallen, guilty “I,” and the introduction of the new man. This is Christianity. It is not patching up the old thing by ordinances, ceremonies, or moral reform. It is not putting a new piece upon an old garment, which can only make the rent worse. It is a new creation. on! that this were better understood by the people of God. It is, we verily believe, one of the special truths for this day in which we hear so much about man and his boasted powers and progress. A Second Man has come;—why? Because the first man sinned and was driven out of paradise. But the Second Man is the last Adam, and therefore there can be nothing beyond Him. “In Adam all die; in Christ shall all be made alive.” May the Lord lead all His people into the knowledge and power of this great truth!
139. “W, B.,” Canterbury. Children are called to yield implicit obedience to their parents. This is the divine rule. Parents, on the other hand, are to beware of provoking their children to wrath by arbitrary conduct, by exhibiting partiality towards one more than another, and by needless crossing of the will of the child merely to make a display of parental authority. The child should ever see that the parent has his real interest at heart, and that true love is the motive spring of every act. But we must insist on the obedience of children, and that in the face of this age of independence-an age specially marked by disobedience to parents, and not only disobedience, but, in many cases, by gross disrespect. Many of the young people of the present day seem to regard their parents as belonging to the old school, and as being deficient in education. Hence, the readiness to contradict their parents and set up their own opinion. All this is at once unnatural and ungodly. It ought not to be tolerated. And we may also add a hint as to the very objectionable habit adopted by many young people of calling their father by that heartless name, “Governor;” and calling their mother by some equally objectionable epithet. We would entreat all our young friends to watch against these things, and against the spirit from which they proceed, and to cultivate a reverential spirit, which will surely lead to a respectful manner towards their parents. It is a very fine proof of a really good education when children respect their parents. Need we add that in all matters where God’s authority is concerned, it must rise above all other claims? Oh! for the adjusting power of grace and truth!