The Believer's Walk in Connection With Natural Relations: Ephesians 5:22-6:9

Ephesians 5:22‑6:9  •  12 min. read  •  grade level: 9
Listen from:
In this portion of the epistle we are exhorted as to the conduct that becomes Christians in connection with earthly relationships. The Apostle first speaks of the most intimate of relationships, wives and husbands (v. 22-33), then of children and parents (6:1-4), and finally of servants and masters (6:5-9).
As individuals we own Christ as Lord, and the responsibilities of every relationship are to be carried out in the fear of the Lord. The wife is to be subject to her own husband " as unto the Lord " (5:22); children are to obey their parents " in the Lord " (6:1); fathers are to train their children in the " admonition of the Lord " (6:4); servants are to do " service as to the Lord " (6:7); and masters are to remember that they have a Master in heaven.
(1) Wives and Husbands.
(Eph. 5:22-2522Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:22‑25)) Christian wives are exhorted to submit to their husbands in everything and Christian husbands are exhorted to love their wives. Special exhortations always have in view the particular quality in which the individual addressed is likely to fail. The woman is liable to break down in submission, and is therefore reminded that the husband is the head of the wife, and that her place is to be subject. The man is more prone than the woman to fail in affection, therefore husbands are exhorted to love their wives.
In order to emphasize the subjection of the wife and the affection of the husband, the Apostle turns aside to speak of Christ and the church, and we learn the great truth that earthly relationships were formed after the pattern of heavenly relationships. When God first established the relationship of man and wife, it was after the pattern of that which then existed only in His counsels, Christ and the church. Thus on the one hand the relationship of Adam and Eve to each other, as husband and wife, becomes the first figure in Scripture of Christ and the church; and on the other Christ and the church are used to illustrate the true attitude of husbands and wives to each other. The wife is to be subject to her husband as the head, even as Christ is the Head of the church, and is the Savior of these mortal bodies. Again, if the husband is exhorted to love his wife, it is after the pattern of Christ and the church, for he is to love " even as Christ also loved the church."
It may be thought that the standard set is very high, and that the statements that wives are to be subject to their husbands in everything, and that husbands are to love their wives even as Christ loved the church, are very strong; but what wife would mind being subject to a husband that loved her even as Christ loved the church, and what husband would cease to love a wife who was always subject as the church should be to Christ?
The Apostle’s heart is so full of Christ and the church that he takes occasion by these practical exhortations to bring before us a very vivid summary of the eternal relations of Christ and His church, to which we do well to take heed.
He reminds us that " Christ is the Head of the church "; that " Christ also loved the church "; and that Christ nourisheth and cherisheth the church. He is the Head to guide, He has the heart to love, and the hand to provide for her every need. Amidst all the difficulties we have to face, our unfailing resource is found in looking to Christ our Head for wisdom and guidance. In all our sorrows, and the failure of human love, we can count on the unchanging love of Christ that passeth knowledge; and in all our needs we can count upon His care and provision.
Moreover, the love of Christ is brought before us in a threefold way. There is that which His love has done in the past, what it is doing in the present, and what it will yet do in the future. In the past Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Not only did He give up a kingly crown, kingdom glories and earthly ease to tread a path of humiliation and sorrow, but at last He gave Himself. More He could not give.
He not only died for us in the past; He is living for us in the present. Today He is sanctifying and cleansing the church with the washing of water by the word. He is daily occupied with us, separating us from this evil world and practically cleansing us from the flesh. This blessed work is carried on by the application of the word to our thoughts and words and ways.
Let us remember that He did not first make the church worthy to be loved, then love it and give Himself for it. He loved it as it was, then gave Himself for it, and now works to make it suitable to Himself. God acted very blessedly on the same principle in regard to Israel. Jehovah could say to Israel, " I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood... thou wast naked and bare. Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness... and entered into a covenant with thee... I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck.. and a beautiful crown upon thine head... thou wast exceeding beautiful... thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee " (Ezek. 16:6-146And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live; yea, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live. 7I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the field, and thou hast increased and waxen great, and thou art come to excellent ornaments: thy breasts are fashioned, and thine hair is grown, whereas thou wast naked and bare. 8Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord God, and thou becamest mine. 9Then washed I thee with water; yea, I throughly washed away thy blood from thee, and I anointed thee with oil. 10I clothed thee also with broidered work, and shod thee with badgers' skin, and I girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk. 11I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck. 12And I put a jewel on thy forehead, and earrings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thine head. 13Thus wast thou decked with gold and silver; and thy raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and broidered work; thou didst eat fine flour, and honey, and oil: and thou wast exceeding beautiful, and thou didst prosper into a kingdom. 14And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord God. (Ezekiel 16:6‑14)). Israel’s time of need was God’s time of love. So Christ loved the church in all its deep need, and gave Himself for it; then having possessed it He cleanses it and makes it suitable to Himself. We are not satisfied if someone we love is not to our liking, and Christ will never be satisfied until the church is perfectly suited to Him.
(V. 27). In the future, in His love, He will present the church to Himself " not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish." The present sanctification of verse 26 is connected with the presentation in glory of verse 27: that is, the condition in which we shall be presented to Christ in glory, " holy and blameless "> is the measure of our sanctification even now. While here we shall not attain to the standard of glory, but there is no other standard. Moreover, the condition in glory is not only the standard of our sanctification, but, as perfectly set forth in Christ, it is the power of our sanctification.
" The word ", discovering to us what we are, and occupying us with Christ in glory, is the power for cleansing. The word and the sanctifying effect of Christ in glory are brought together by the Lord in His prayer, " Sanctify them by the truth: Thy word is truth ", and the Lord adds, " I sanctify myself for them, that they also may be sanctified by truth." The Lord set Himself apart in the glory as an object for His people on earth, and as we are occupied with Him we are changed into His likeness from glory to glory.
Alas! Christendom has entirely failed to walk in the light of these great truths concerning Christ and the church. In practice it has ceased to give Christ His place as Head, and consequently has failed in subjection to Him. Therefore we need hardly be surprised at the failure to maintain the relationships of life, formed after the pattern of Christ and the church, leading, on the part of the woman, to a widespread revolt against subjection to the man, and, on the part of the man, to unfaithfulness and lack of love for the woman. The ruin of Christendom, the scattering of believers that has split Christendom into innumerable sects, can all he traced to two evils—professing Christians have abandoned the place of subjection to Christ that belongs to the assembly, and have usurped the place of authority belonging to the Head.
The beginnings of these evils were found in the assembly at Corinth. There the Christians set up leaders in the place of Christ, and then formed themselves into parties in subjection to their chosen leaders. The evil which had its beginning at Corinth is fully developed in Christendom, where clericalism has practically set aside the Headship of Christ, and independence has taken the place of subjection to Christ.
(Vv. 28, 29). Having presented so blessedly the truth of Christ and the church, the Apostle returns to his practical exhortations. Men ought to love their wives as their own bodies, for so truly are they one that the husband can look at his wife as himself. As such, the man will delight to nourish his wife, meeting her every need, and cherish her as one that is very precious. Again the Apostle presents Christ, and His care for the church, as the perfect pattern for the husband’s care for his wife. Not only has Christ died for us in the past, and is dealing with us in the present in view of eternity, but as we pass along our way, He watches over and cares for us, treating us as Himself. Because " we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones ". He could say to Saul of Tarsus, in the days when he was breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the saints, " Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? " One has truly said, "A man’s flesh is himself, and Christ takes care of Himself in taking care of the church." Again, " Christ never fails, and there cannot be a want in Christ’s church without there being an answer to it in Christ’s heart."
(Vv. 31, 32). The man that loveth his wife loveth himself and he is to leave other relationships to be joined to his wife. The Apostle quotes from Genesis, but he expressly states that this is a great mystery which has in view Christ and the church. Christ, as Man, left all relations with Israel according to the flesh in order to secure His church.
(V. 33). Nevertheless, says the Apostle, while seeking to enter into these eternal truths of the great mystery of Christ and the church, let each husband see that he loves his wife as himself, and let the wife rightly fear her husband.
(2) Children and Parents.
(Eph. 6:1-31Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:1‑3)). It has been remarked that the exhortations in the Epistle to the Ephesians all commence with those from whom submission is due. The special exhortations are preceded by the general exhortation to submit yourselves one to another (v. 21).
The exhortations to submission are especially addressed to wives, children and servants, the wives being exhorted before the husbands, the children before the parents, and the servants before the masters. This order would seem to attach great importance to the principle of submission. One has said, " The principle of submission and obedience is the healing principle of humanity." Sin is disobedience and came into the world through disobedience. Ever since, the essence of sin has been man doing his own will and refusing to be subject to God. An insubject wife will make a miserable home; an insubject child will be an unhappy child; and a world not subject to God must be an unhappy and miserable world. Not until the world is brought into subjection to God, under the reign of Christ, will its sorrows be healed. Christianity teaches this subjection, and the Christian home should anticipate something of the blessedness of a subject world under the reign of Christ.
The obedience of the child is, however, to be " in the Lord." This supposes a home governed by the fear of the Lord, and therefore according to the Lord. The quotation from the Old Testament, which connects the promise of blessing with obedience to parents, shows how greatly God esteemed obedience under law. Though in Christianity the blessing is of an heavenly order, yet in the governmental ways of God the principle remains true that honoring parents will bring blessing.
(V. 4). Parents are not to bring up their children on the principle of law which might lead them to say to the child, " If you are not good God will punish you "; nor are they to bring them up on the principles of the world which have no reference to God. If they are trained simply with worldly motives, to fit them for the world, we must not be surprised if they drift into the world. Moreover, parents are to be careful not to irritate and repel their children, and thus destroy their influence for good by losing their affection. Only will their affections be retained, and the children kept from the world, as they are brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They are to be trained as for the Lord, and as the Lord would bring them up.
(3) Servants and Masters.
(Vv. 5-9). For the Christian servant to render obedience to an earthly master, a heart that is right with Christ will be required. Only as the servant of Christ, seeking from his heart to do the will of God, will he be able to serve his earthly master with " good will." What is done of good will to the Lord will have its reward.
Christian masters are to be governed by the same principles as the Christian servants. In all his dealings with his servants the master is to remember that he has a Master in heaven. He is to treat his servants with the same " good will " that he expects from the servants. Moreover, he is to forbear threatening, not using his position of authority to utter threats.