A Roman Catholic Lady's Conversion

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IT was towards the end of the year 1864 we were informed by telegram of the sudden illness and expected death of a dear sister then residing in France. What added to our grief was that the beloved one, with her husband and family, were without Christ, unconverted.
Two of our family went over to her at once, and found the medical opinion very unfavorable. The disease was of such a nature that it must end in death, and he thought soon. Many were the prayers sent up to God by vast numbers of the Lord's people on behalf of this sick one that she might be brought to a saving knowledge of Christ ere taken from us. A special interest seemed taken in her, and her family knew that she had often been under conviction of sin, and had tried to stifle it, more (we believed) from fear of what an open confession might entail than anything else; as she often afterward told us, she felt herself a sinner, saw hell open before her, and felt truly miserable. She also told us she had tried by prayers and ordinances and sacraments to obtain peace, without getting it. How true, God has no pleasure in sacrifices and offerings for sin-nothing but the blood of Christ (Heb. 9 and 10). HEB 9; 10
So far was prayer answered that in a fortnight after she was taken ill she was enabled to be brought to London by steamer, and although it seemed to threaten a storm in some parts of England, the sea in crossing was a perfect calm, a great thing for her. On arrival, the very best advice was procured, the first doctors in London consulted; but one after another only told the same sad story that her days were numbered.
Dr. A—, the family physician, was more sanguine than the others. He attended her to the last, and used every means to prolong, life, when the disease could not be stayed.
Prayer was offered up for her unceasingly, and the Word of God, especially the Epistle to the Hebrews, Was read and explained to her by her sister A—.
This greatly cleared the way as showing the dear sufferer that all earthly priesthood was completely done away with, that all believers in our Lord Jesus Christ are priests, and that Christ is the only High Priest. That all earthly temples and sanctuaries are done away with, and that God seeks those to worship who worship in Spirit and in Truth, His presence making the sanctuary. Also it was explained to her that the Word says, “He that believeth hath everlasting life," so that we ought to know here whether we have it or not.
“If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater: for this is the witness of God, which He hath testified of His Son. He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself.: he that believeth not God hath made Him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of His Son. And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life.”
She said it went with a pang to her heart that she was making God a liar, believing man's word (a human priest) instead of God's Word.
Our hearts were full of praise and thanks-giving to our God for His marvelous love to us and to her, she seemed so clear and decided, believing simply that Christ died for her, and that he that believeth hath everlasting life.
She said it was wonderful that six sisters should meet in heaven! Her next thought, and ours, too, was the confession of this to her husband, who was so kind in attending to her bodily wants, but was still in the Roman Catholic Church.
The Lord might well have said, " O ye of little faith, wherefore do ye doubt? " but we were, and she too, fearful of the consequences of a confession; but prayer went up, and one night, when very ill, that passage in Rom. 10:9, 109That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. (Romans 10:9‑10), ROM 10:9-109That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. (Romans 10:9‑10) pressed so on her conscience, until she felt constrained to send for her husband and tell him all—that she was now converted and had found peace and happiness through simply believing in Jesus Christ for salvation.
He had remarked before that his wife looked as though a load were off her mind, he could not account for it; but when she told him, soon after, he said to one, “Well, I do not care what she calls herself, so long as she is happy." He very kindly used to read the Bible to her at her express wish.
HER anxiety for the children now became great. She spoke to her nurse and to M— (a servant who had been with her for years), told them that when death came nothing but Christ could satisfy. His blood alone gave her peace-no prayers, no forms, no churches, no priests, and that no absolution of man was of any effect-Christ and Christ alone, and they must let all go and cling to Him.
She said to her sister M—, “How can you walk about, and see souls trusting to churches, and prayers, and forms, without telling them what a precious Christ you have?
Oh, what a precious Saviour He is! and you are told to confess with your mouth-how can you keep it? Oh, do speak for Christ!”
Another time she said, “Christ never turned an anxious soul away yet. Oh, no, He is waiting to receive; how precious a Saviour! I remember when I arrived in England from abroad " (three years before her illness), " A— W— spoke to me about my soul. I was cut to the heart, and could have cried all day, but my proud heart would not let me say much to him. How that precious, precious Jesus has followed me, and has striven with me, and I have striven against Him, and He would not leave me!
What wondrous love! I don't deserve it, I can't believe it.”
Then she said, “I am filled with happiness; it is joy, it is peace, it is Christ!” As these words came out she was quite exhausted. She then said to another sister, J—, "Can you be quiet when Christ says you are to confess with your mouth? " and then sent a message to C— (a brother-in-law) to say Christ alone would serve him at death, to lose no time in coming to Him; she asked us to be sure and tell her mother-in-law that she died in the true faith, which is Christ and Him alone, no forms, no churches, no priests, no man, none but Christ; tell her " she ought to confess to her sons that she knows that she is saved, and that no forms will save them; clothing hut Christ and His precious blood. We want nothing else at death, and nothing else before, but Christ and His Word, no church (so-called). Oh, the freedom! The freedom of getting out of bondage! What freedom Christ is! Why don't all see it?”
She was very weak and quite exhausted after each sentence. She lingered altogether about eleven months, and we may well say they were months of great mercies amidst all her sufferings Our hopes were often buoyed up with the idea that after all the dear one might be spared to us, as at times she gained strength and appetite; but she never anticipated perfect recovery....
So little did she expect this, that at a later period, when the nurse she brought over was obliged to leave, she said, “I may not live to require another.”
During these eleven months she was visited by some Christians, who broke bread with her in remembrance of the Lord's dying love; this she greatly enjoyed. She often said she only cared to see those Christians who spoke to her of Christ; some she named as not caring to see a second time, as they did not speak much of Jesus.
We were summoned to town on the 9th of September, 1865, and found her near her end, but truly happy in Christ.
On seeing A— she said: " I am just like that little hymn: —
Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling.'
What could I do if I were obliged to bring anything of my own? There is nothing but clinging to Christ.”
A— said, " the best of us, after almost a whole life of service, can bring nothing, can only say, Mercy from first to last.'”
She replied, " The only thing that troubles me is my not having spoken more of Christ to the unconverted " (few have to reproach themselves less on this point than she, for she spoke to nearly all she saw).
On being asked if she was rejoicing in hope, she said, “Oh! yes, each time I am brought lower I am happier, Christ is more precious to me. I have had temptations, but they are all gone now.”
She also said: “I could not think why I did not die when I was first converted, but now I see it-it's because I know Christ better now. At first I was just happy and rejoicing because my sins were forgiven, but now I am more drawn to Christ—know Him better.”
It reminded me of the difference in 1 John 1:12, 1312But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: 13Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. (John 1:12‑13). 1JO 1:12-13 little children know their sins forgiven—fathers know Him who was from the beginning-for surely she had made rapid strides in the heavenly race in ten months.
She seemed to long for the Lord's coming; not that she feared death, but loved the idea of all meeting again. She had been rather troubled at hearing a Christian say she feared death, and said she determined to ask every believer she met if they feared it, and was greatly pleased with the answer of one of her sisters, A— S—: “Fear death? No! I never think of death! It is only God's messenger sent to usher me into His blissful presence."
A FEW days after she said, "Not a bit of fear, no fear, perfect love casteth out fear; no fear, not a bit.”
On repeating a passage of the Word to her she replied: “Yes, it's all very sure. I can look death in the face without any fear. I am weary, weary, but it will be all right when we get up there; no trouble, no heat, no pain. Jesus will take care of me, I know.”
On being reminded how near we were to Jesus, she said:" Oh, yes, quite true, the Lord thought us so part of Himself that He said to Saul, Why persecutest thou Me?
Oh, yes, that is precious.”
September 16th, she was very ill; we thought it her last day here. She spoke to all around, warned M— (the servant) about her soul again, charged her to meet her in glory, told her she never would unless she came to Christ. “You must believe He died for you, M— for your sins.”
Then to her nurse: “Am I to meet you there? Do you believe in Jesus?”
“I hope so, ma'am.”
"No," she said, “it won't do to hope.
I know. Do you believe you are a sinner?
Yes, all have sinned. Then if a sinner, Jesus died for you. Do you really believe it? He that believeth hath everlasting life.”
Then she asked her doctor if he would meet her. She spoke also of her brother (J—) who was abroad, wondered if he would be saved, and his wife, and said how Satan occupied him with his business and the 'world. “It will all be of no use when he comes to die. When he comes to be like me, nothing will do then, but Christ. Oh, how vain everything else appears, nothing will do for a death-bed but 'Christ!”
“Oh, how vain all the world is when death comes!” Then to her sister A—:" Don't let me ever see you shed another tear about your husband; his soul will be saved. I have prayed and thought much of him, and Jesus says vest! Don't you trouble any more.'”
Then, as if she had a glimpse of glory, she said: “He has a mother there, and a sister; and his mother's prayers will be answered, and he'll be there. I see it all as plainly as if I were seated up there, and he there, too He loves the world now, does he not? How strange Satan should be able to occupy people's minds with different things to keep them off Christ! but he'll be saved; it will come all at once." Then, as if talking with the Lord, she pleaded so earnestly for his soul to be saved. Then said: “Yes, it will be all right. Jesus says, whatever we ask we shall have. Tell him I thought of him, I prayed for him, and that nothing but Christ will do on a death-bed.”
Then turning to a Christian present, she said: “Don’t you ever fear death. When it: comes Jesus will be with you, don't fear it He is with me and will be with you." At another time she said "Hush! Jesus is all round.”
She told her sister M— that her gift was to awaken souls, or, as she expressed it, to make them feel uncomfortable. “Yes, M—, years ago you sent me those lines: —
` Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling ';
and I used to make up my mind not to read it, but felt obliged to take it out of my pocket when alone, and read it over and over, and used to feel so miserable. You used to go on at me and make me feel uncomfortable. I have prayed that I might go to sleep and waken on Jesu's bosom, but it's not the time yet." She thought it so wonderful she should be saved, said she never cared for Jesus, and to think of having such a place!
A— said, “Yes, God loves His Son so much, that's why He gives us such a place.”
At another time she said: “Did you say it was death? It's not death, death is the beginning of everlasting life to the believer-it's—very sure. All is real rubbish clown here when we get one glimpse of glory.”
A— said, " Yes, Paul said all was dung and dross compared with Christ.”
She was very thirsty and to her sister M— she said: “I don't think anyone can enter into what our Lord felt when He said,
‘I thirst.’”
(To Be Concluded.)
No training, educating, or reforming of the nature we have from Adam can ever make it acceptable to God, or bring the soul home in peace to Him; but "if any man be in Christ, it is A NEW CREATION.”
From the 28th to the morning of the 30th M— was the only sister there; her husband there also. M— sat up with her. Poor thing, from extreme restlessness she did not sleep at all.... She was suffering acute pain, and exclaimed, “Lord, have mercy on me," but immediately checked herself, saying, “I must not say that. Thou hast shown me unbounded mercy, yes, and love beyond my tongue can tell. All praise to Thy precious name, my Saviour. How sweet that name, my Saviour! More grace to bear it, I ask."...
The morning light came in, and all was peace. M— said, “Are you glad to see the light, dear?” “Yes, for it's another night gone, and this can't last; I am quite at peace and rest.... Perfect peace flowed in, and joyful assurance. She said, “It is more than I could bear, Jesus has filled me," and that she saw Him waiting to receive her, and she longed to go; not a doubt, not a fear. "Oh,” she said,” come, come, my Beloved; let me not be left any longer here, after such a sight!
Oh, come, take me; the sight is-too much; I am impatient now to go; a poor sinner, what unbounded lover all by simple faith in Thy beloved Person. Not one I want now but Thee; not a doubt, not a fear. Heaven is where Thou art, 'tis true. Oh, such assurance is joyful.”
The nurse said to her, “You have suffered greatly, but we all have our trials; mine have been great.”
She replied: “Trials and sufferings not turned to good use are awful; the trial is sent in unbounded love and mercy to warn you, and you reject it, and you can't make a good use of trial without first looking to Jesus. Oh! don't talk to me of sufferings; the Lord has been loading me with blessings, unbounded love and mercy, O precious Jesus!”
Her husband used to read to her daily, but she was too weak now to hear a whole chapter. She lay all that day holding her sister M—'s hand, her voice very weak. She said little, but M— could hear her carrying on communion with the Lord, saying, “Jesus, Jesus, oh, yes, oh, yes—I am Thine— Thou art mine, and nothing can divide us.”
She said to M—: “Oh, if you had had such a sight as I have, you would not wish to be here one moment longer. All that A— S— said to me is quite true; no fear, all is peace.”
Masked if she might sit beside her that night.
She said, “I should like it, but your poor body will be worn out. I would not let you, but that this is the last night here this restlessness is all of death; my dizziness of eyes is all of death; we shall have our last night to ourselves; this is the last night ever I will require it.”
M— replied, “Dr. A— said your pulse was stronger.”
“Well," she said, he would not tell an untruth, but he does not know. This is the last night here, and we will have our last night to ourselves, it is but a little time here; read to me a bit.”
M— read different parts of the Bible, then read the hymn:—
“Oh, patient, spotless One,
My heart in meekness train,
To take Thy yoke, and learn of Thee,
That I may rest obtain.
“Jesus, Thou art enough,
The mind and heart to fill,
Thy life-to calm the anxious soul,
Thy love-its fear dispel.
“Oh, fix my earnest gaze,
So, wholly, Lord, on Thee,
That with Thy beauty occupied,
I elsewhere none may see.”
The third verse she repeated after A— saying, “Yes, Lord, fix my earnest gaze so wholly on Thee!
Later in the evening M— read the verse again to her, but she stopped her, saying, “I don't need that now," as much as to say, My gaze is fixed!
Dr. A— came soon after, and said a great change had taken place, pulse much weaker.
He was told the remark she had made, that that would be her last night.
He said, "How strange; quite true.”
M— told Dr. A— of the sight she had of the Lord, and that she had said if we had had such a sight we would not wish to remain here.
He said, "Tell me it again," the tears falling. "Ah!" he said, “depend on it she had a sight worth dying to get.”
Nurse asked M— if she was afraid to stay with her sister alone at night.
“How can I be afraid, Jesus fills the room,” was M—'s reply.
The doctor thought at times she was unconscious, but no, whenever the name of "Jesus” was mentioned she answered.
About eleven o'clock on the morning of the 30th she opened her large dark eyes wide on M-and said, " M—, dear, I think you would like to hear me say once more that I am at perfect peace, have perfect assurance through simple faith in the precious blood of Christ; me, a poor, unworthy sinner! It's not a nice thought having my head put under ground, but I am happy; having Christ I have all.”
Again she lay a long time without saying much, but extremely restless. She said, “Keep constant in prayer for the Lord to take me quickly, I am longing to go, but this, this is my trial to linger here—patience.”
When her sister J— arrived, and sat by her she said: "J—, dear, so glad to see you. I am sensible, dear." Perhaps she had heard some say she was unconscious. Again she looked up and said to J—, “Keep constant in prayer for the Lord to take me." She said little after that, but at times she was heard saying, " Yes, yes, precious Jesus, quite sure; yes, yes.”
She quietly breathed out her last at 9:45 p.m. on Saturday, 30th September, 1865.
A. C. H.
What dos a LOST sinner need? SALVATION! Not a half-salvation; not a hope of salvation; not a doubtful salvation; hut a full, free, present, personal, perfect and everlasting salvation. This is what the sinner needs; this is what the gospel reveals; this is what the grace of God provides in Christ the Lord.