“Oh! why did you not speak to me on Tuesday night?” said a lady I met a few days after closing some Tent services;” I just wanted a word of help, and waited behind in the Tent for it.”
I felt and looked my surprise, and stammered out, “I hardly understand you, surely you have been on the Lord’s side for years; I never doubted you were His.”
“Yes,” she said, “you thought so, all thought so, but the question never really came home to me until the Tent Meetings, and then, night after night my longing for blessing deepened, and at last the joy of salvation is mine.”
“Oh, do please tell me all about it; I am surprised, and very thankful.”
“Well, you remember I came to the Tent Meetings almost from the start. I did not like them at first. I got startled; I had never thought of the love of God, the work of the Lord Jesus, and the deep need of my soul in the way it was presented. As the days passed on, I yearned to know the reality of a Saviour’s love as my own portion, but I was ashamed to confess my state, almost ashamed to admit it to myself.
“The last week of the meetings came, and I way still unblessed. Oh! how I longed for someone to speak to me; I constantly lingered behind for the after-meetings, and still no one spoke to me. Last Sunday night I felt almost desperate, but waited for Monday; no light, no blessing came on Monday, and Tuesday was the last meeting. I never shall forget that meeting; I was too much disturbed to pay much attention to the preaching, but at the close you asked all who could to rise and sing ‘My heart is fixed, Eternal God, Fixed on Thee, And my immortal choice is made, Christ for me.’
“I dared not rise, the solemn question was not settled. I was in hopeless despair, a hollow professor. Oh! how I longed for someone to lead me into blessing. But the After-Meeting closed, and I went out of the bright blaze of the light of the Tent into the darkness of the night.
“I felt now that all hope was gone, and I got home I hardly know how. Supper was ready, but my heart was breaking so, I rushed upstairs, and fell on my knees by my bed. How I tried and tried to pray, but could only groan and groan. Finally, exhausted and only partially undressed, I threw myself on my bed And fell into a troubled, dreamy sleep.
“In my dream I was once again back in the Tent; I saw the bright lamps, the eager faces, and the earnest preacher, and went over once again the whole meeting, and at last came to the closing hymn. Suddenly I awoke to find myself sitting up in bed singing aloud―
‘Christ for me, Christ for me.’
“I cannot tell you the indescribable joy of that moment: all the clouds had gone, the sense of His love filled my soul, and all was peace and joy.
“I had felt that night that I must be saved then or never, and God did it in His own way, and I bless Him for it.”
A year has rolled away, and I again met, in identically the same spot, this trophy of God’s grace.
“Well, and how is it with you now?” I asked. “The joy brighter, and the peace deeper,” she replied.
Dear reader, may I ask if you have ever faced honestly in God’s presence the real state of your soul; all that which is merely external and for the eye of man must be unmasked sooner or later. It is not worth your while to deceive men, and we certainly cannot deceive God.
Can you say―
“And my immortal choice is made,
Christ for me?”
The One who loved you and died for you, bids you trust Him “just now.”
G. W. H.