HOW many who are apparently entering into the full enjoyment of all the worldly pleasures within their reach are tormented by a conscience which had been touched by the Spirit of God, perhaps in childhood, or, it may be, at a period more recent. The heart in such circumstances flatters itself that there will yet be time to follow the dictates of conscience, and Satan, through the delay, rules with increasing power. Sad, sad, state!
C. was the daughter of parents whose one desire was to educate her for this world, but in the providence of God she was placed with a devoted Christian lady, whose character deeply impressed the heart of her young pupil.
Whilst under the care of this excellent woman, C. learned to read h er Bible with pleasure; she became acquainted with the way of salvation, and it is very probable that the Spirit of God then touched her heart, as in all the varied scenes o( her after life she never forgot the happiness of those early days.
But as the only inducement for placing C. with this lady was the superior mental training there to be acquired, the time arrived when what are called accomplishments were thought necessary, and she was removed to a school where comparatively valueless pursuits were made of the first importance. The result may be anticipated; her young heart was drawn from Christ, and when she finally returned to her home she was ready to enter into all the gaieties of life.
Being a girl of great personal attractions, sprightliness of mind, and graceful manners, she soon became a general favorite, and ere long she married. Her husband's position enabled her to cultivate society, which appreciated her as one of its brightest ornaments; and as years passed on she was known as an earnest votary of pleasure, an enlivener of every party she attended.
But what was the real state of her heart?
She was one of the most wretched of beings. In the midst of the gavest scenes, and in moments of greatest excitement, one thought of God would strike a pang through her whole frame.
The best years of her life were thus wasted in the service of the god of this world, but the time was approaching when, no longer able to follow the ways of her own choosing, she had to be made conscious that it was in vain to strive with the true and living God.
She was absent from home, for the benefit of sea air, when one evening, whilst walking on the shore, she accidentally met a Christian lady, whose character was well known to her. There had been no previous intimacy, but they entered into conversation, and the lady, who only knew C. as a fashionable lover of pleasure, embraced the opportunity of speaking on the subject of the soul's salvation.
What words can express the conflict of feeling in those moments? “You are the first person who has spoken to me about my soul since I left school, and how often have I longed that someone would thus address me," was one of her first replies; and then followed a touching confession of the misery of her life.
That was a walk never to be forgotten. The gushing forth of that pent up heart was overwhelming to both, and the scene was hallowed by a sense of God's presence.
But C. had so habitually resisted her convictions, that Satan still had power, and although plainly seeing that the Christian’s path must be in separation from the world, she dreaded the scorn and ridicule of her friends. Week after week she hesitated to confess Christ before men, until at length her state of health required the best medical advice, and like a thunderbolt fell the judgment of the physician that she could not live more than three months. How terrible was her remorse for lost opportunities! For several days she agonized under a sense of sin and fear of death, but the wondrous grace of God came in to speak peace to her soul by showing her that Jesus had been made sin for her, and then she began to live. She seemed as one taken up to heaven to receive thoughts about herself and everything around her.
The example and admonitions of her early instructress were now vividly recalled to mind, and even the portions of Scripture she had learned were recollected, with a freshness and power that astonished her, for they had passed from her memory during the interval.
She delighted at first in hearing hymns read to her, and then, as she neared her departure, the word of God became most precious to her. “Let me have the blessed word of God; hymns do not satisfy me now," she would say; and often would she burst forth in praise for all that Christ had done for her. But she never forgot to speak of herself as a solemn warning to others. "I have thrown away my life. Oh, that I had again an opportunity of taking my place before all the world with the despised followers of Jesus!" Such expressions were often heard to fall from her lips. She had been ashamed to associate with the people of God, but how often did she now express her intense desire to have the honor, if only for once, of openly taking her place amongst them. 'I his privilege, however, was denied her.
She spoke earnestly and faithfully to her worldly friends who visited her, and surely eternity will disclose that her words were with power. She had proved that the world could give nothing worth having, and that divine realities alone could satisfy the heart; and more than this, she could tell of being united to a living Saviour forever, and she delighted to dwell on His beauty and glory, for her spirit seemed to be constantly in heaven.
This continued until the end. She had been apparently unconscious for some hours, when the friend to whom she had poured out her heart by the sea-shore entered the room, and was allowed to be alone with her. After repeating some passages of scripture, this lady said, “If what I am saying is a comfort to you, tell me by some sign, if you can only move a finger." At once, with a last effort, she threw her dying arms around the neck of her friend, opened her languid eyes, and fixing them with a heavenly gaze that spoke to the heart at once, she attempted to speak. To anticipate her words, it was said, “You will soon be with Jesus."
"I shall, I shall," was the earnest reply; and in a moment her arms relaxed their hold, her head sank back on the pillow, and she was gone to Him who had loved her, and washed her from her sins in His own blood.
Could that ransomed spirit address you, dear reader, what would she say “Seek the Lord now, while He may be found." Waste not your precious moments in serving Satan, but "Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved."
If you have had convictions, do not trifle with them. Oh, do not resist God, for, be assured, you will never know rest of heart until you find it in the Saviour! “Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world."