Self will show itself early in our children. When self-will begins to manifest itself, our children need to be taught obedience to their parents. If by nature we have a passive personality, or if the admonition to “let your yieldingness be known unto all men” is deeply ingrained in us, it may be difficult to discipline our children and to insist that they be respectful and obedient. We need to do it anyway, not because we are standing up for our own rights, but because the Lord requires it.
God prescribes “the rod” of correction seven times in the book of Proverbs, so it is obviously necessary and important. When our child is angry, or has lied, disobeyed, or given us a dirty look, he has yielded to the old nature or to Satan. He must tell us and the Lord that he is sorry. It is good to pray at this point. It may be well to remind him that the Lord was grieved by his sin, but that the Lord is also willing to forgive. Remind him of the verse in Proverbs that requires the rod of correction (Prov. 22:1515Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15)).
A mother or a father must handle the training of a child without anger. It is an assignment from the Lord, a necessity. How good for the husband and wife to be unified in this area and not resist or interfere with each other’s discipline, either by word or facial expression. The rod might not be effective with each child. Let us ask the Lord for wisdom as to the most effective method of correction for each of our children.
If we do not correct our children, we are actually being cruel to them, because they may become rebellious teens or self-centered wives and husbands (Prov. 29:1515The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. (Proverbs 29:15)). David never displeased Adonijah “at any time” (1 Kings 1:6). When Adonijah grew up, he formed a wicked plot, hoping to dethrone his father, David (1 Kings 1:19). Eventually he was executed for insubordination. It is much better for our children to learn what is right from us at an early age than to suffer for their attitudes and actions later in life. In contrast, if our children learn obedience and respect, God promises them a blessing (Eph. 6:1-31Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:1‑3)). When we exercise discipline in the manner God wishes, we will not have lost our calmness or our gentle spirit. And we will be carrying out the Lord’s instructions.