She was a sweet Scotch girl of nineteen years. At an early age her mother had been taken from her, and she had emigrated to Canada hoping to realize in that country the bright prospects that had been held out to her. She had not been long there when, evidently, as the result of lack of care, she was seized by that dread disease that has carried away many of the most promising of the young.
When I saw her she was in the Hospital for Consumptives in Montreal, and my first glimpse of her pretty face, with its delicate lines only too clearly told me that she was not long for this world. We spoke about her physical state, and then I mentioned to her the Name that is always so sweet to the one who knows its power and beauty, but was shocked to find that the result of this was a look of hatred, and the assurance from her lips that she would not listen to anything of that kind.
As I knew that she came from a land where children, at least, used to be taught much of the text of Scripture, and of its precious truths, I was surprised to find her in this condition. I then asked her how it was that her mind was in such a state. I spoke of how, no doubt, her mother had taught her differently from this; and it was then she told me that when she was quite young her mother had been taken from her, and in this country she had found the wrong kind of companionship which had turned her mind completely away from the truths she had learned at her mother’s knee.
But the Good Shepherd was seeking the wandering sheep, and the early lessons could not be dispelled from her mind. She told me then how she had expected soon to return to Scotland to be married, and how her terrible disappointment had left her in a state of despair and rebellion against God.
This was made very evident when, after seeking to speak kindly to her, and to comfort her in her deep sorrow, I asked her where such thoughts as she was now cherishing would lead her. She simply replied,
“To hell!”
I asked her if she realized what she was saying, and she assured me that she did, and that she was quite prepared for that terrible ending. I said,
“Have you realized that if you find yourself in this dreadful place, how long you would be there?”
“Yes, I will be there forever,”
The utter despondency and apparent hatred for God that was manifested in her looks and words almost completely overcame me. I spoke to her of the Savior’s love, but her only answer was that He did not love her; that if He did, He would never have blighted all her hopes, and allowed her to die in that place.
To this I could only reply—though entering in some measure into what she was passing through—that the time would come when she would realize that all this was allowed in perfect love, and that the heart that moved the hand that had afflicted her, was that of the One who had come down here to meet her need, and die upon the cross for her.
I asked her if she had ever thought of the sufferings of Christ; of what it meant for that Blessed One to anticipate the cross in the garden of Gethsemane when He sweat “as it were great drops of blood” in His anguish at the thought of having our sins, which were so abhorrent to His holy soul, laid upon Him. I spoke about His physical sufferings—the crown of thorns, His being nailed to the cross, the horror of His holy soul as they spat upon His blessed face, and buffeted and tormented Him until “His” visage was so marred more than any man, and His form more than the sons of men” (Isa. 52:1414As many were astonied at thee; his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men: (Isaiah 52:14)), and as I brought before her that scene which has been spoken of by another as “the center of two eternities,” —I could see that she was more or less affected.
Then I sought to bring before her, not the physical sufferings, but the infinitely more terrible ones that came directly from the hand of God when—after man had exhausted every cruelty that his evil heart under the power of Satan could contrive to heap upon the Son of God—God Himself brought down upon Him the withering stroke of divine wrath and judgment against sin.
As she told me that if she were to die in the condition in which I found her, she would be in hell forever, I pointed out to her that in those three hours of darkness when “Jehovah laid upon Him the iniquity of us all” (Isa. 53:66All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:6)), and lifted up the rod against the Shepherd—against the Man that was His Fellow—and smote the Shepherd (Zech. 13:77Awake, O sword, against my shepherd, and against the man that is my fellow, saith the Lord of hosts: smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered: and I will turn mine hand upon the little ones. (Zechariah 13:7)), that He was bearing all that she and. I and millions upon millions of others would have suffered had we been forever in the darkness of an everlasting hell.
This truth laid hold of her, and a change that showed God was breaking down her rebellious spirit, came over her face, and as the tears began to flow down her cheeks, I prayed with her, and left her in the hands of Him Who I felt sure had begun a work in her soul.
I was unable to see her the next day, but the day following I called again, and the face that greeted me, showed that a deep work of repentance had been wrought.
“Well,” I said, “Bella, have you found out that Jesus loves you?”
“Yes,” she said, “I have.”
I asked her if she loved Him.
“O,” she said, “I fear that I don’t love Him very much.” I spoke of how I felt sure she desired to know and to love Him, and she told me this was true. She said that after I had left, she prayed to God that He might make it manifest to her if He did love her, and that He had given her a very gracious token of the fact that He had heard her prayer, and that His heart toward her was the same as when the Lord Jesus said, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:1616For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)).
I asked her if she wished to know that her sins were forgiven. This seemed too much for her, and begged me not to speak about her sins, because she could not bear to think about them. I said,
“Bella, there is One who has thought about your sins, and has borne the judgment of them on the cross.”
“But,” she said, “My sins are so many.”
“O,” I said, “I am so glad to know that you have found this out, as I have the very verse that applies to you.”
Opening my Bible at the 7th chapter of Luke, I read her the story of the sinful woman who came into the presence of the Lord in spite of the circumstances that would have seemed to make it impossible for a person like her to reach Him. We read about the Pharisee who felt sure that the Lord was not what He professed to be, if He allowed such a woman to touch Him, but when we came to the 47th verse, I read only as far as the words, “Her sins, which are many,” and holding my fingers over the two words that followed, I asked Bella if this were true.
“O,” she said, with deepest emotion, “it is only too true.”
Then I said, “Do you believe it?”
She assured me that she believed it most sincerely. I then took my fingers away, and asked her to read those seven wonderful words that had brought life, and peace, and salvation to many souls. She read aloud those words: “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven” (Luke 7:4747Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. (Luke 7:47)). Then I said, “If any one asked you if your sins were forgiven, what would you say?”
She said, “I would say my sins are forgiven.” I at once asked her how she could say that, “O,” she said, “didn’t Jesus say so?”
I then pointed to those wonderful words in verse 48, “Thy sins are forgiven,” and showed her how that the former words had been spoken about the woman, while these four were addressed to her.
“Now,” I said, “supposing that someone had asked that poor woman, after she left the Pharisee’s house, if she were saved what would she say?” And Bella just looked up into my face with a look of faith and rest, and said, “What could she say? Jesus said, ‘Thy faith hath saved thee,’ and wasn’t that enough?”
And so I asked her what she would say if the same question were put to her; and her reply was, “I would just say, ‘I’m saved.’”
Perhaps someone who does not know what it is to pass “from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God” (Acts 26:1818To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me. (Acts 26:18)) might question the reality of the work in Bella’s soul, but if they had seen the results, and witnessed the completely transformed life that I had the pleasure of seeing, and knew the effect of her conversion upon the patients around her—every doubt as to the complete change in Bella would be dispelled.
From what she was previously—an irritable, peevish, unhappy girl, who never could be satisfied with anything—she became the sweetest, happiest patient in the Home.
Some days before she was taken, when I was sitting by her bedside, she asked,
“When I close my eyes here, will I really open them on the face of Jesus?”
As I gave her from God’s precious Word that blessed verse in Revelation,
“His servants shall serve Him, and they shall see His face,” the look of joy that came over her face showed that what she knew was “joy unspeakable and full of glory” (1 Peter 1:88Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: (1 Peter 1:8)).
From the day of her conversion, when the Lord Jesus had won her heart, her great desire was to see His face, and be with Him; but, as she looked back over her past life, she felt how it had been wasted, and in a voice that told that she was feeling deeply that fact, she said to me:
“O, how I long to go to be with Him; but if I could stay a little while and do anything for Him, I would be willing to stay.”
I assured her that her testimony in the Home had had a very great effect upon the patients, in turning their thoughts toward Christ, but she could not see this.
The young man to whom she had been engaged, had visited her, and she said:
“You will be sure to speak to—when I am gone?”
“But he seems to be a very nice young man,” I said.
“O, yes,” she said, “he is that, indeed, but he is not saved, he has not found Jesus.”
This young man was brought to trust in Christ as his own Savior as the result of her death, and the preaching of the gospel on the day of her burial.
I would now ask my readers if they have yet submitted to the tender pleadings of God’s gracious Spirit, and the truths of His blessed Word—if they have been born again through faith in the Lord Jesus, have heard that blessed One who died upon the cross for them say,
“Her sins, which are many, are forgiven.”
“Thy faith hath saved thee, go in peace.”
If not, may God grant that without further delay they may do so. Then Bella’s desire that she might leave some testimony for the Lord Jesus Christ, will in this way be answered.
But how small are the desires of any of us in comparison with the longing of His heart Who died on the cross of Calvary, and bore the judgment of our sins, in order that we might, through simple faith in that glorious work, and the precious blood which He shed for us, realize the truth of His Word which says:
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth My Word, and believeth on Him that sent Me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation, but is passed from death unto life” (John 5:2424Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. (John 5:24)).