“YOU can have this book, Nellie; I shall not read it,” and so saying my brother thrust a copy of the Gospel Messenger into my hand, some fifteen years ago.
Little did I think that God was about to speak to my soul, and break in upon my carelessness and indifference. Yet so it was.
“PREPARE TO MEET THY GOD,”
were the words that laid hold of me, and arrested me on my downward course. These words were quoted in an address given by the Editor, and which was printed in the copy of the magazine, which my brother had handed to me. My anxiety deepened as months rolled on. I remember dreaming one night that the Lord had come, and had taken father and mother―they were true Christians―and had left me behind. I got out of bed, and went to my mother’s room, to see if she was there. I felt it was the Lord’s voice speaking to me.
I tried to keep the law, but, failing dreadfully, I decided not to worry about such things, throw off my anxiety, and be bright and merry like others around me.
But no sooner did I decide on this course than a voice seemed to say to me, “Go and open your Bible at 1 Corinthians 5:66Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? (1 Corinthians 5:6).” I had never seen the words before, but there they stared me in the face,
“YOUR GLORYING IS NOT GOOD,”
It seemed to tell me that my determination to be happy and careless was all a terrible mistake.
Thank God, peace came one Sunday evening. A dear Christian gentleman, now with the Lord, General H —, was preaching, and I felt that I must tell him that I was not saved.
He prayed much with me, and pointed me to Romans 4:16-25, 5:1. What specially helped me was verse 2, in the earlier part of the chapter, “Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness,” and verses 23-25, “Now it was not written for his sake alone, that it was imputed to him for righteousness; but for us also, to whom it shall be imputed, if we believe on him that raised up Jesus our Lord from the dead; who was delivered for our offenses, and was raised again for our justification.”
General H― kept pointing me to those Scriptures, till at length, for I was very slow about it, I was enabled to cast myself upon the Lord, and trust Him as my personal Saviour, and found Christ indeed to be my righteousness before God.
And if these lines catch the eye of an anxious sinner, may they be used to his or her help, and blessing.
S.