Enters a Protestant Church
ONE day, during the factory dinner hour, I passed by a Protestant church, the door of, which was open, and, tempted by curiosity I entered. There were no pictures nor graven images there, as I had been accustomed to see in the Christian churches in my native land, and, though I did not understand the service, yet its simplicity struck me so much that I almost began to think I was in some kind of Jewish synagogue, and not in a Christian church at all.
On returning to my work, I could not forget what I had seen, and at length asked one of my friends if he had ever been in such a building.
"What! in a Christian church?" said he. "I have never been into one, and never mean to do so. I hope you have not been into such a place; now, have you?”
I was afraid to confess, yet dared not deny, and was therefore slow to answer. My friend's suspicions were aroused, and I was obliged to tell the truth, adding that I could not see what harm I had done. Upon this my friend began to curse me for saying a word in favor of a Christian church, and made me promise I would not enter one again.
A few days passed by, and once more, in my dinner hour, I passed by the church, the door of which was again open, but I dared not break my promise, though I felt a great desire to enter the building. I stood in the street, watching the door, for the hour, and then returned dinnerless to my work.
For the rest of that day I regretted not having gone in, and for some time after I remained in a low and melancholy state. At last I made up my mind that go to the church I would, and see for myself what it was like, but determined to keep my movements secret. Many times did I attend the service, and was much impressed by the solemnity and earnestness of the preacher, and the manner in which the service was conducted, and how I wished I could understand the words that fell from the lips of him who spoke so fervently!
One day there sat not far from me in the church a gentleman, whom I took to be a Jew. I was afraid he was an agent sent by my friends to spy me out, and I trembled lest I should be discovered, and that my father should hear I had been into a church of the Christians, whom he detested and hated with all his heart, even as I did. However, observing the gentleman reading the prayers, I was relieved, and judged he was one of the worshippers.
When the service was over, I remained a few moments in the pew. When this gentleman caught sight of me, he at once made his way to me, and addressed me in Hebrew, saying, "Jehudah Atta, achi?" ("Are you a Jew, my brother?")
I was startled, and, seeing he was indeed a Jew, thought, after all, "This is not a Christian church, but the place of worship of some new sect of Jews-perhaps the reformed Jews.”
I answered him, Jehudi Ani" ("I am a Jew"), whereupon he shook hands with me, and commenced speaking in German. He gave me his address on bidding me farewell, but I destroyed it, lest my Jewish friends should see it.
Several days passed by, and, hoping to see the gentleman again, I made my way once more to the church, and there found him, as before.
On the service being ended, he again spoke to me, asking what my circumstances were, whence I came, and who were my parents. He was so kind and generous in speaking with me that I opened my heart to him, and told him exactly why I had left my native land, and how that I sought to be saved, and to know the God of Israel. I explained to him how that since I had left home my soul had been cast down-that ever since I began to seek the truth I had but felt I was lost-adding, "I know I want something, but do not know what it is.”
"Are you going mad?" said he.
"If the truth be told, I am mad," was my reply.
Then he smiled, and said, "I hope you will get much worse.”
Surprised and pained at the unkind answer, I asked him what he meant, upon which he said that a few years ago he had been in the same state of mind, that he had left his native land, Austria, and his father, mother, relatives and friends, and that he did really nearly go mad for misery of soul, but that he now thanked God for that madness, for God had given him wisdom and everlasting satisfaction.
Now for some years I had been seeking for rest of soul, and here stood before my eyes, for the first time, a man who could say he himself had everlasting satisfaction. My whole soul was filled with intense desire to know what he meant-what it was that he had, which neither my parents nor my Rabbi in Kovno, nor my friends in Germany or in England possessed. "Tell me all about it," I cried.
He then propounded several questions concerning the Messiah, which I had often wished to understand. He also quoted several portions of the Holy Writ, which had ever seemed to me hard to explain. In fact nearly all his questions were the very same as those I had put to my Rabbi in Kovno, and to my beloved father, and which neither of them could satisfactorily answer. All this filled me with astonishment, for I was in the presence of a man who had evidently had the same difficulties as myself, and I was very pleased in thinking I should now have these difficulties cleared up.
This gentleman then bade me explain the saying in the Talmud, "They of the school of Elijah have taught that the world exists for six thousand years-two thousand void (without law), two thousand with law, and two thousand the days of Messiah. Now," said he, "four thousand years have long gone by, and the last two thousand have nearly gone. Where is Messiah?”
I prayed him to tell all he knew of the mystery of Messiah; upon which he called to my mind the prophecy of Isaiah, especially chapter 53., relating to His rejection, and also many others which speak in the same way of the Redeemer of Israel.
All that this gentleman said interested me deeply; but when he asked me to give him my address I refused, being afraid my friends should discern the manner of conversation I had had with him.
He then asked me to call upon the Rev. H. A. Stern, assuring me I should enjoy his conversation, and I promised to visit that gentleman.
The reader will doubtless remember how this devoted minister for Christ suffered for Him in Abyssinia so many years.
One morning at half-past eight, I called upon Mr. Stern, and told him of my interview in the church with my Jewish friend, and how I had promised that I would present myself to him. Mr. Stern took me into his study, and during a conversation which deeply interested me, the gentleman whom I had met in the church joined us, as did also some others.
Mr. Stern then said he would read a chapter from the Bible. His devoutness impressed me greatly, for before reading from the sacred writings, he and the rest knelt down; I did not, however, do so, such an attitude being contrary to the Jewish customs relating to prayer. The prayer was offered in the. German language, and it excited me considerably, because Mr. Stern began by addressing himself to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He proceeded to express in his prayer the deep sinfulness of the human heart, acknowledging how impossible it is for any man to obtain favor in God's sight by his own power, and concluded by owning to God the Father that the only way to Him is through Jesus Christ His Son, who says, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”
I could have repeated almost the whole of the prayer when it was ended. After this the Bible was opened, and passages were read and observations made, when again all knelt down, as prayer and thanksgiving were rendered to God.
My mind grew confused. I had never before witnessed anything so simple yet so truly devout; never before had I seen men in real intercourse (as it seemed to me) with the living God. I could but look upon the earnest and pious countenance of Mr. Stern with feelings of reverence, just as I should have done had I gazed upon a great prophet, even an Elijah. Indeed I felt a peculiar attraction towards him, and wished he were a friend of mine, and that I might hear him address me as a son.
Here I confess that, though I have mixed all my life with pious people, both Jews and Christians, I never before nor since have seen anyone who appeared to me so holy and so humble as Mr. Stern. Now he has gone to rest, but I shall be grateful to him for all eternity. Oh! if all Christians lived such lives as his, the world could not but see in their light the reflection of Him who is the Light of life.