“They ... chastened us after their own pleasure.” Hebrews 12:10
If you had parents who did not know the Lord, you had the world’s training in your growing-up years. Our parents shaped us according to what they expected of us, and your memories remind you of things that I cannot guess, whether of happiness or misery. But in any case, they chastened us after their own pleasure. The world’s wisdom set the standard.
Now you are a Christian mother and have a higher motive than “after our own pleasure.” Higher? We are not naturally better nor wiser than our parents, but we look to God for the answers, and His way is perfect.
Hebrews 12 tells us to chasten our children. This is not limited to spanking with physical pain. “Chastise” includes many kinds of loving correction. Perhaps pain is best inflicted on young children: it is easily understood, soon over, and even with undried tears can be followed by loving hugs.
There continues to be a place for physical chastisement throughout childhood. Every child is different, and only God Himself can give us wisdom for the occasion. Sometimes locking up a favorite toy might be wise, or the “no dessert” privation. Often this should begin by kneeling down together and sharing God’s feelings about the misdeed, explaining to your child that his heart attitude displeases God. Let our child see that God cares, and we care. We should never punish him because he gets on our nerves or disgraces us before others. If anger or frustration make us feel like spanking, let’s put our hands behind our back. If we spank him, we need to do so in the fear of God. It is disobedience on our part to allow disobedience in our child.
We need to make sure our children obey our commands without exception. Children who disobey their parents often disobey God all their lives. Do you see what tremendous responsibility this places on us as mothers? It is enough to scare us from ever having children at all — but it doesn’t need to. Above all things, let us read God’s Word for ourselves and enter into the sanctuary of His presence daily. Better still, live there! In His presence, let us ask God to plan our family. When our children desire to follow the Lord, we will find that this desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul.
God wisely gives us nine months before our cuddle-bundle arrives, and we find that no two are alike. Only God could do this, and that’s why He hasn’t given us a book of rules. Instead He gives the promise of His wisdom to those who ask Him (James 1:5). “In [Him] are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Col. 2:3).