When we see others in difficulty in their lives, whether from their own mistakes or from outside forces, it is a wonderful privilege to be of help. We know, of course, that none of us can take the place of our Lord Himself, whose sympathy is perfect, for in His pathway through this world, He experienced every kind of suffering that a sinless man could go through. As such, “He is able to succor them that are tempted” (Heb. 2:1818For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succor them that are tempted. (Hebrews 2:18)). However, the Lord has also given believers in this world the opportunity and responsibility of being of help to one another, and we are told, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:1-21Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. 2Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1‑2)). In these two verses we are instructed to help both in restoration from failure and in bearing an intolerable and heavy burden. The latter includes not only material burdens, but spiritual ones as well. Yet often, perhaps, while sincerely wanting to help, we may go about it in the wrong way and perhaps do more harm than good. As always, we find that the Word of God gives us guidelines as to helping one another, so that we can do so according to the mind of God.
To Help Is of God
First of all, let us remember that seeking to help one another is of God. We may be tempted to shirk our responsibility in this for several reasons. First, helping those in failure or bearing burdens for others entails work. It takes time and energy, and sometimes money. We may feel that we have enough problems of our own with which to deal, taking the attitude of Scrooge in Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” when he said, “It’s enough for a man to understand his own business and not to interfere with other people’s.” We may also hesitate from fear of doing it in the wrong way, or perhaps from fear of being rebuffed by the one whom we want to help. Also, as we see so much in the realm of “Christian counseling” that is not of God, we may shy away from becoming involved in it. But there are scriptural ways to approach helping in this way, so let us not abdicate our responsibility, in trying to avoid mistakes. The gift of a pastor is sorely needed today and is rather rare; we may well feel that “it is not my gift.” But like Timothy, who was told to “do the work of an evangelist” (2 Tim. 4:5), we too, in these last days, can seek grace from the Lord to do the work of a pastor, even if we are not specially gifted in that way.
The Age of Deception
We must remember several important entities in our desire to be of help to others. Among these things, one of the most important is to be aware that we live in an age of deception. People are becoming more and more dishonest about themselves, and especially about their problems and their sin. Many people (including children of God!) see themselves as they wish they were, not as they actually are. It is so easy in today’s world to lie to ourselves and to avoid facing reality. Instead of scriptural patterns of thinking, men’s minds are governed by worldly attitudes. Because Satan is now the god and prince of this world, these attitudes are characterized by dishonesty, for “he is a liar, and the father of it” (John 8:4444Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. (John 8:44)). The result is that there is no real dealing with the root of the problem, and thus no resolution. It is not merely that the individual may have sinned; his very thought patterns are often sinful. The one who seeks to help must focus, among other things, on getting the individual to see things in God’s presence and in the light of His Word. The person must begin to think scripturally, not in deceptive thought patterns that only perpetuate his difficulties.
Biblical Answers
In keeping with this dealing with deception, we must remember that the only real answers to the problems of today are Biblical answers. There is a wealth of bad counseling available today, much of it masquerading under the guise of Christianity. Our hearts need to be turned to Christ and to God’s Word. “His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, Mighty God, Father of eternity, Prince of Peace” (Isa. 9:66For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6) JND). Our real help to souls is to bring them to the One whose name, among other names, is Counsellor. The real work of a believer who is seeking to be of help to another believer is to minister Christ to him and to bring him back, if necessary, into the presence of God.
In bringing souls, especially believers, face to face with the Word of God, we must realize that this may not, at least for the moment, make them very comfortable. We need to offer sympathy and understanding; this should come through clearly, and we will speak about it more later on. But just as no surgery is pleasant when it is actually done, so the cutting edge of God’s Word is not initially comfortable, and especially to a believer who may be away from the Lord. But God’s Word must be brought before him, for it has been the neglect of the Scriptures (in the case of a believer) that has brought him into difficulty. Now that he wants help, he must be given a solid basis on which to rest. God never gives “Band-Aid” treatments; the root must be probed and dealt with.
External Factors
Another most important aspect of help is the clear recognition that while a believer has a new life in Christ that wants to please Him, he also has a sinful nature. Modern counseling often works on the premise that man is basically good, while Scripture tells us just the opposite. To tell a man that he is basically good allows him to blame his sin and state of soul on environment, upbringing, and other exterior factors. Sad to say, this unscriptural view is spilling over into Christianity; it is a common ploy for the blame for failure to be placed on others. While all these external forces may surely aggravate the problem, they are not the root cause and must not be allowed to cloud the real issue. We, and we alone, must take responsibility for the motives, actions and consequences of our behavior.
Patience
All this takes time, and we must be patient. Roots are not pulled out right away, and while we may point the individual in the right direction, it is eventually his choice to deal with the core of the problem. As an unbeliever, he must be willing to come to Christ. As a believer, he must be willing to be restored in his soul and to undergo the necessary repentance and confession that are entailed in the process. There are no shortcuts to this, and there is no solution that does not involve the cross. The individual must be given time for us to gain his confidence and for him to open the inner recesses of his heart. Part of giving people confidence to open up in this way must be the assurance that we will keep that confidence and not divulge such information to others.
Compassion and Love
Finally, real help requires real compassion and love. It has often been remarked that “what comes from the heart goes to the heart.” Paul could remind the Corinthians that no amount of gift, knowledge, faith or power was of any use unless accompanied by love. It is probably for this reason that in Ephesians 4:1111And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; (Ephesians 4:11) we find “pastors and teachers” linked together. To be an effective teacher, the individual must know something, but to be an effective pastor, one must have a shepherd’s heart.
Two things will give us compassion. First of all, compassion is the heart of Christ, who looked on this world with its misery and wept over it. He had not caused the sorrow and heartache; it was a result of sin, which man brought into the world by his disobedience. Yet our blessed Master came right down into this sea of misery and had compassion.
Second, our sympathy will flow out to the degree that we obey the instruction in Galatians 6:11Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. (Galatians 6:1): “Considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” If we somehow think we are superior to the failure around us and flatter ourselves, like the Pharisee in Luke 18:1111The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. (Luke 18:11), that we are “not as other men are,” then our help will not come from the heart. But the believer who is most conscious of his own failure will show the most sympathy to another who has failed, while not condoning the sin.
The Spheres of Authority
Finally, those who counsel must recognize, respect and work together with the spheres of authority that God has set up. These include particularly the Christian home and the Christian assembly. When a believer has failed seriously, the authority of both the home and the assembly may need to be involved. It is easy for one seeking to give pastoral care to disregard and override the authority of parents in the home and that of the local assembly. This is very damaging to the individual needing help, and ultimately it will do harm rather than good. To be sure, the authorities God has set up may not always understand situations within their midst and may fail in their responsibility. Such things can be discussed with them, in an atmosphere of respect and confidence. But we must never disregard such authority, unless it behaves in such an evil way that obedience would be a dishonor to the Lord. This is rather rare.
In summary, then, we can seek the Lord’s guidance in being of help to others in trouble, whether it is because of their own failure or because of circumstances in their lives. He will give the grace and resources to do it, and to do it according to His mind. “And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away” (1 Peter 5:4).
W. J. Prost