The little girl’s family had recently moved to a new location. Excited about being with “new friends,” at the close of a midweek Bible study she eagerly headed towards a group of girls. Rather than a welcoming “hi,” the first comment that greeted her was, “You can only play with us if you have a doll.” She didn’t have a doll.
It’s easy to imagine how she felt.
Not long before this, a young person, fourteen years of age and from a small assembly, was looking forward to enjoying fellowship with other boys during a three-day Bible conference. After one meeting he approached a group of young people. Seeing him coming, one of the boys turned to him, asking how old he was. He told them, prompting this curt response: “This group is only for 13year-olds!”
It’s easy to imagine how he felt.
How do we feel?
Should we pass off such conduct as mere normal social immaturity an expected part of childhood?
No. It’s not “normal” for Christian children.
How Did They Learn?
Where do kids those raised in Christian homes learn to use frivolous standards such as possessions or age as requirements for extending their fellowship to other Christians?
Where do they learn to use any standards other than “righteousness, faith, charity, peace” to guide their contacts and friendships?
How do they come to accept any criteria other than “with them who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” as the basis for forming associations?
Who taught them that feelings and actions can be based on some commandment or pattern other than “love one another, as I have loved you”?
The Power of Examples
While we don’t expect children to display deep spiritual maturity, we ought to recognize that they, like lambs, will follow the example set by sheep. Thus, the most pressing question is, What kind of examples regarding Christian fellowship do we, by our actions towards others, provide for our young?
It’s by watching the behavior of parents and older brethren that children quickly, effectively learn whether possessions, careers, levels of spirituality, or any other objects are to be allowed to displace Biblical principles as guidelines for fellowship.
We Need Each Other
Most of our readers are well acquainted with the subject of 1 Corinthians 12 The body of Christ of which each believer in the Lord Jesus is a member. Let us hear the Word of God concerning our need of each other. “The eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.... That there should be no schism [division] in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another” (1 Cor. 12:21,25).
Are Christian children too young to learn these principles? No, they aren’t. But they must see them acted on in the lives of adult believers. No believer (young or old) is a more precious or more important member of the body of Christ than another. In the right and important desire to walk in holiness (1 Thess. 4:7; Heb. 12:14), let us take care not to erect such impenetrable walls of separation that sweet, needed fellowship with other members of the body of Christ is no longer desired or possible to enjoy.
These are the final, dark days of professing Christianity, when the spirit of apostasy is already working its harmful influence and the “love of many” has become cold (Matt. 24:12). It is a time when it is vitally important to stir up the “love of God... shed abroad in our hearts” (Rom. 5:5). But we must, individually and collectively, return to that spirit of first love for Christ before there can be true “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3) with our brethren.
Fellowship Is Not Compromise
We most certainly are not suggesting that to enjoy fellowship we should overlook what dishonors Christ. Disregard for the person and glory of our blessed Saviour in no way characterizes first love for Himself. Godly separation from evil is clearly taught throughout Scripture. “Come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord” (2 Cor. 6:17). Love delights to obey His commands.
Obviously, true Christian fellowship can never be enjoyed by compromising holiness and obedience to God’s Word. Certain solemn conditions require refusal to show fellowship with another member of the body of Christ. And disregard of these conditions is not a proof of love; it is a proof of indifference or, worse yet, a proof of open disobedience to Christ.
Obedience Is Not Complicated
Scriptural commands regulating fellowship with believers are simple for those who desire to obey.
“With such a one, no, not to eat” (a professed believer who continues in public sin) is so plain, it leaves no doubt about the question of fellowship.
A brother (or sister) walking disorderly is also to be left alone we are to withdraw from such (2 Thess. 3:6). However, let us remember that before we withdraw, we are taught in 1 Thessalonians 5:14 (JND) that the disorderly is to first be admonished.
Likewise, those who cause divisions and “occasions of falling” among brethren (by actions or words) are to be avoided (Rom.16:17 JND).
And, one who is a heretic (Titus 3:10), after the second admonishment, is to be rejected.
Thus, the Word of God gives distinct directions concerning circumstances that require the denial of fellowship to other members of the body of Christ. However, there must be communion with the Father and submission to His Word in order to have discernment about when to apply these commands.
Willing to Spend?
But morally applying a “work of faith,” a “labor of love,” and an “enduring constancy of hope” (1 Thess. 1:3 JnD) is necessary in reaching out to those of “like precious faith” that fellowship with them as members of the body of Christ might be enjoyed.
A few days after the little girl was rebuffed because she didn’t have a doll, she went shopping. Allowed to select one thing she wanted, she chose a set of twin dolls. When asked why she needed two dolls, her beautiful and simple answer was, “So I can have a doll to play with, with the kids, and, if someone else wants to play who doesn’t have a doll, they can use my other one.”
She didn’t want others to feel the hurt and isolation she had felt from being refused fellowship.
Do we as brethren in Christ have a similar desire?
Are we willing to buy two dolls?
Worth the Cost
Though it will cost something (remember, love labors 1 Thess. 1:3; Heb 6:10), divine love will not find it difficult to discover ways to extend and enjoy fellowship with other believers. As “members one of another” (Eph. 4:25), may it be our constant delight to seek every opportunity, whenever possible, to engage in fellowship one with another.
May we be like those in Acts 4:23 who, “being let go... went to their own company.” And may the deep longing of our hearts be that, rather than “forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the custom is with some,” we diligently look for every possible occasion to be found “encouraging one another, and by so much the more as ye see the day drawing near” (Heb. 10:25 JND).
“Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on Me through their word; that they all may be one” (John 17:20-21).
Ed.