Feb. 21.—Our hearts were bowed down on account of beloved Augustus's illness. We desired, as a family, to humble ourselves before God with praying and fasting, beseeching our God to restore him, if it was His blessed will; but if not, to glorify Himself in this dear child and us, if it pleased Him to take him to Himself.
It was a day long to be remembered by us. We have on several occasions, when there have been any special sorrows or trials amongst us as a family, humbled ourselves together in prayer and fasting, and the Lord has most manifestly heard and answered our cry. It was so on this occasion. We each went to our room apart, and humbled ourselves in secret before the Lord for our personal sin and failure. I then spoke to and prayed with each member of the family, including the dear children, one by one; and we all afterward assembled together and made united confession of our sins, as a family, before God, and sought His forgiveness, asking Him, in the name of His dear Son, to heal our backslidings, to sanctify this deep affliction to all our souls, and especially to look upon the beloved sufferer, that this sickness might not be unto death, but to the glory of God, and that God might be glorified in him, whether by life or by death.
The following pages will skew how abundantly our God heard and answered our cry. From this day there was a manifest change in dear Augustus—a ripening for his removal to the Lord.
Feb. 22.—A friend who united with us in our humiliation and prayer yesterday, went to see Augustus to-day. She asked him if he could submit to God's will in this sickness? He said, "Yes, quite;" and asked her if she had enjoyed the preceding day. She read the 32nd Psalm to him. He then inquired after a young friend, Mary G—, who in a severe illness had been unable to speak for weeks. He was always particularly interested in her, for they were both born on the same day and year. "Does she follow Jesus? Is she quite well now? When she was ill, she was unable to speak. What a mercy that I am able! Her birthday is the same day as mine; but I shall spend mine in heaven." This was indeed the case.
Feb. 23.—I wrote to his beloved parents in India, communicating to them our anxious fears about Augustus.
Feb. 28.—Augustus received a long-expected parcel from India. It contained a Polyglott Bible from his dear father. It was such joy to him to receive it, and seemed sent of God to cheer him during his illness. He has noted it in his memorandum-book—"Parcel from India, containing my Bible.”
March 4.—Augustus very peaceful. I read Isa. 53 with him, which he much enjoyed. I asked him if he knew how uncertain his recovery was? He said, "Yes, Papa." "If the Lord gave you the choice whether to live or die, which would you choose?" "To depart to Christ, if it be God's will." His patience and submission to the will of God are marked and beautiful.
March 6.—I wrote to his beloved parents, and Augustus dictated the following note to them. His head and body are too weak for him to write himself:—
“My BELOVED PAPA AND MAMMA,
"As I am not able to write myself, dear Papa Deck will do so for me. I know how very sorry you will be to hear that I am so very ill; but do not be anxious about me, for I am quite happy. I know what God chooses for me is best; and by His grace I am willing either to live or die, as it may seem best to Him. I know that I am very wicked and sinful; but I know, too, that I am washed in the blood of Jesus, and so have peace with God. I am not afraid to die. I should have longed to see you both on earth again, but we shall meet IN HEAVEN." (Here his eyes filled with tears.) The Lord in love hath sent this affliction; He saw I was going away from Him, that I was getting worldly. Pride and love of the world were two of my besetting sins. He therefore first laid His hand on me in the loss of my sight; and now He has laid me low. But it is all in love. I know that I am in much danger, but I am quite happy. Jesus makes me happy; and if I depart, I trust through Him to go to heaven. God has given me a great many to pray for me. I send you and dear Mamma many thanks for the nice Bible you so kindly sent me, which has come just in time to be my companion on my sick-bed. The 23rd Psalm has been a great comfort to me.
P.S.—Dearest Augustus sends a heart full of love, and he knows not how many kisses, to his beloved Papa and Mamma, and much love to his dear brother and sister.”
He told me that he had never lost the peace God had given him, when he was first converted through faith in the blood of Jesus, but once; when, having been very naughty, it was said to him, "I fear Satan is deceiving you, and that you are not really a child of God." This troubled him for a time, but he was afterward enabled to rest in Jesus again.
On looking over his hymn-book, which he has been marking since his illness, it is very interesting to observe what the exercises of his soul have been. This has especially characterized them, "subjection of his will to God." There has not been one murmur, one complaining word. Peace has been reigning on his countenance, and the peace of God keeping his heart. He has not despised the chastening of the Lord, nor fainted under His rebuke, and there is now "the peaceable fruit of righteousness.”
In Hymn 12., part 2., he has underlined—
“Submissive to Thy will, my God,
I all to Thee resign;
Bowing beneath Thy chastening rod,
I mourn, but not repine.”
In Hymn 29., part 2—”When languor and disease invade," he has marked—
"Sweet to lie passive in His hands,
And know no will but His.'
The 70th Hymn of the second part, which was a favorite of Augustus's, I give at length. It was written originally to comfort a bereaved mother and widow in her hour of sorrow, and the Lord made it a comfort to the soul of this young disciple. He may graciously be pleased to make it a word in season to some who may read these pages.