Friendship: July 2025
Table of Contents
Friendship
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are My friends.” The Lord Jesus Christ is the best companion that anybody could ever have. He is the Friend that every person in this world needs! He is the Friend of sinners, and He is the Friend of saints (believers). Whatever your situation is in life — whether you’re saved or not — one thing that’s true of every one of us is that we need Him. He said to His disciples, “Without Me ye can do nothing.” The sooner we learn that lesson in life the better.
Think of it: The greatest Person who ever lived in this world would honor those who believe on Him by saying, “Ye are My friends.” Yes, He wants us as His friends and companions! The Lord wants us to walk through this world in fellowship with Himself. He wants to be our nearest and dearest Friend. That a divine Person would condescend to walk in this world as a Man, but more than that, choose to have friends of persons such as you and me—it boggles the mind! What an incredible privilege it is!
B. Anstey, Lassen Pines, 2005 (adapted)
Friendship
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are My friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:13-14). I have it on my heart to take up the subject of friends or friendship. You know it’s a very wonderful resource that God has given us for the path of faith through this world and for our lives here. Usually when we think of friendship, we think of it as a relationship which God has given for our blessing and happiness here on earth.
Eight Qualities of Friendship Seen in Jesus
We are going to look at eight different attributes or qualities of a friend as seen in the Lord Jesus Christ, because He is the greatest friend that any of us could ever have. Someone was telling us recently that they met a little boy and got talking to him, and, as it turned out, this little boy knew the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior. But he said in parting, “I really don’t have any friends; I’m not popular at school; I just don’t fit in and really don’t have many friends.” But the person he was talking to said, “Remember, you always have the best friend, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ. Isn’t that wonderful!” Maybe you are a young person, or maybe not so young, and you feel as if you don’t have many friends and no real friend.
We want to bring before our souls the greatest friend that a person could ever have, and we’re going to see this as we go through these qualities and attributes of the Lord Jesus as the perfect friend who will never disappoint us, who will never let us down. Here in John 15 the Lord Jesus, while speaking of what was ahead, encourages His disciples and calls them friends. Isn’t that wonderful! I would think that as the disciples sat and listened to the Lord Jesus, their hearts were troubled by the thought of His going away.
Wouldn’t you love to have the Lord Jesus come to your side and say, “You know, I consider you My friend.” That’s what the Lord Jesus was saying to these disciples: You are My friends. What kind of friends were they to Him? Well, they weren’t the most faithful kind of friends, were they? There was quite a bit of failure here and there. There was sometimes a strife among them. They often misunderstood what the Lord Jesus was saying and doing. When Mary poured out her ointment at the feet of the Lord, all the disciples spoke against her, and so on. He knew that all His friends were going to forsake Him and flee and that one of those friends was going to deny Him three times with oaths and curses. And yet He could say to them, “Ye are My friends.”
Natural friendship depends on a response from the friend. When it gets that response and sees something lovely in the person, then the friendship flourishes and grows. But when the desired response isn’t there, little idiosyncrasies and other things come to the surface, and things aren’t so pleasant.
Sometimes those who were friends separate. There isn’t a closeness any longer because of something that has come between them. But here was the Lord Jesus, the perfect friend, who, in spite of all that He knew of their treatment of Him, could say, “Ye are My friends.”
Sacrificial Friendship
True friendship is willing to make sacrifices. I suppose the ultimate test of friendship is, Are we willing to make sacrifices? Are we willing to put our life on the line or to make some other kind of sacrifice for that friend? The Lord Jesus, as He looked into the faces of these ones that He loved so dearly, knew what the ultimate sacrifice was going to be. They were going to be brought into a deeper relationship with Himself as a result of Calvary and the ascension of Christ and the Spirit of God coming to seal them. For this friendship to continue, He knew that He was going to have to pay the ultimate price, to lay down His life for them.
We have the perfect example in the Lord Jesus, who made that ultimate sacrifice for us of giving His life and shedding His precious blood. How little is any sacrifice that we might make for one another compared to that! First John 3 speaks of His laying down His life for us. Then it says, “And we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” Do we really appreciate in our souls the sacrifice that He made? In the measure in which we appreciate His sacrifice for us will we make that sacrifice for one another. We may never be called on to be martyrs, as many of our brethren have and still are to this very moment. But we are called upon to give ourselves as a living sacrifice, to lay down our lives in that way for the service of Christ and for the service of one another. When you give a cup of water in His name or do any little service to one of His own, you are serving the One who is his friend.
A Friend of Publicans and Sinners
When the Lord Jesus was here, He was despised because He was a friend of publicans and sinners. They said on one occasion in derision, “This man receiveth sinners and eateth with them” (Luke 15:2). He delighted not only to speak to the masses, not only to address crowds, but He delighted to get alone with the sinner, to make that personal contact with those who had a felt need.
Doesn’t it rejoice our hearts to look back to that time when there was that personal contact of the Lord in our lives, when we were brought to know Him as Savior? If there were 200 people here, we would have 200 different stories, because He takes all of us up as individuals. We are saved as individuals, and as His friends, we are individuals.
While the Lord Jesus was holy, harmless, undefiled and separate from sinners, He could touch the leper and not be defiled. Anybody else who touched the leper, under the Levitical law, was defiled. And anybody who touched them was also defiled, and on down the line. But the Lord Jesus could touch the coffin of a dead boy and not be defiled. Because of who He was, He could sit and eat with publicans and sinners, and He wasn’t defiled.
I trust we all have, to some degree, the zeal and energy to reach out to sinners. I know we have to be careful, even at work we have to be careful, but how much does our heart go out to those that we meet every day? Maybe it is the coworker or the student who sits at the next desk. Maybe it’s someone that lives next door to us, or whoever it is: Are we a friend of publicans and sinners? Do we have a desire to present to them the true friend of publicans and sinners? We have to be careful not to be defiled, but separation is not isolation. We are not to live like the monks lived in past centuries, isolated in some mountain retreat somewhere, locked away from the world. That is not being a friend of publicans and sinners. By our sanctification in Christ we are able and responsible to be a testimony and point to the greatest friend that this world will ever know.
A Friend Who Loves at All Times
Proverbs 17:17 states, “A friend loveth at all times.” Now, of what other friend than the Lord Jesus could this statement be made? There may be one, but it would be pretty rare to find another friend who loves at all times. I have many friends; I have some good friends; I have someone I consider my best friend. But sometimes little things come in and there is not the outflow of love and friendship that there ought to be. Sometimes our friends disgust us; sometimes they rub us the wrong way; sometimes we don’t show that affection that we ought to show. But He is a friend that loves at all times.
Do you ever feel unloved? Do you feel as if your friends just don’t love you anymore? Do you ever say in your heart, “I really thought they were a good friend. I thought they loved me, but they have let me down”? The psalmist said in Psalm 119:96, “I have seen an end of all perfection.” If you are looking for perfection in human friendship, or relationships, you are always going to be disappointed. We see the breakdown of natural relationships at every level. But there is the Friend of whom we sing: “Oh, how He loves.” When you feel unloved and unwanted, get into the presence of this Friend. Sit in a quiet spot alone with the Lord Jesus, feeling the warmth of His love, feeling those arms that are always about us. Just let Him love you as that Friend that wants you to experience His great love.
Facebook Friends
“A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24). The true sense of the first part of this verse is that a man that hath many friends “shall come to ruin.” I had somebody recently tell me that on Facebook they have 365 friends. I wonder how many they have really met. You know a man that has many friends comes to ruin. This can be a problem today with this kind of friendship of having so many friends through social media whom we have never met, or many of whom perhaps we have only met casually, having only talked to them through social media, perhaps rarely talked to face to face. Is that really what friendship is? I’m not criticizing the formation of true friendship; I’m not saying that you can’t utilize those things. But let’s be very careful. A man that has [too] many friends shall come to ruin.
A Friend That Sticks Closer Than a Brother
In contrast to many friends, there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Aren’t we thankful for that friend? You know, you might have someone and you always felt that you could go to them in a difficulty. You say, “They were just always there for me,” and then something arose and they weren’t. In that connection, I appreciate very much Psalm 46:1 That says of the Lord, He is “a very present help in trouble.” He is always right there. You might have a friend and they are not always right there. You say, “I know that friend could help me,” but I couldn’t get hold of him. He wasn’t available. Did you ever call someone and you got a machine or a voicemail that said to leave a message and they would get back to you? And then they never did get back to you. Maybe you get hold of the friend and they listen to your situation and maybe they’ve always helped you in the past, but this time they shake their head and they say, “Well, I’m sorry I just can’t help you on this one.”
Philippians 4:5 says, “The Lord is at hand.” The Lord is always at hand. We can always turn to Him. Someone at hand means they are right there, as the psalmist said, “I am continually with Thee: Thou hast holden me by my right hand” (Psa. 73:23).
The problem is we don’t always realize He is there. He will never leave you nor forsake you. You say I just didn’t feel comfortable to turn to the Lord in that situation. Why? Is it because He wasn’t there? No, it is because you have allowed something to come between you and Him. And if you have, get before Him; confess it so that you have a sense of His presence. We don’t have to get up in the morning and ask this Friend to be with us as much as we need to get up in the morning and ask for His guidance to be able to walk in the conscious sense of His presence with us.
A Faithful Friend
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6). We have a faithful friend, not a friend that is just going to lull us along when there is danger and not say anything. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. The Lord Jesus as that friend is faithful with us, isn’t He? And I doubt there is anybody here who has known the Lord Jesus for very long that won’t attest to the fact that there have been times when perhaps we didn’t always appreciate it. But the Lord was faithful in one way or another in coming in, maybe even in chastisement. None of us loves our children if we let them go their own way when it is going to lead to their harm. No, we seek to guide and chasten our children for their good and for their blessing. And we have One who is faithful with us. As I look back on my life, I haven’t always appreciated at the time the way the Lord has dealt with me and the things He has allowed others to say to me or do toward me. But, as I look back in retrospect, for many of those things, I see the benefit, while in some of them I may need to wait for glory to understand fully. Yet I can thank him now for His faithfulness because I realized that I would have gone in a wrong direction. I would have done something that did not bring glory to Him or was for my own hurt or detriment.
I encourage you to be thankful for the faithfulness of the Lord. Is He allowing something in your life that seems hard, something that seems really tough? You say, “If He is such a loving, consistent friend, I just don’t see why He is allowing this in my life.” You may not always see it at the time and there are many things you are going to have to leave till the judgment seat of Christ.
There was one in the company of disciples who was not a true friend of the Lord Jesus, and yet the Lord Jesus referred to him as a friend. Prophetically, it says of Judas, “Mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of My bread, hath lifted up his heel against Me” (Psa. 41:9). Think of how the Lord Jesus must have felt it when He knew what was going to take place and yet He refers to him as His friend. The Lord Jesus was misunderstood by those who truly were His own, yet He was the faithful friend.
There’s nothing that is more hurtful and detrimental to our friendships and relationships with one another than not being faithful with one another. There is a way to admonish without scolding. We want to exercise grace, but faithful are the wounds of a friend. It may seem harsh. It is not always done in the proper spirit. In seeking to be faithful with others, certainly we have not always done it in the proper spirit either. I would rather have a friend who would put a roadblock in my way than let me go full tilt over a precipice. And so we need to seek grace, yes, in grace and love, and in the proper spirit, to be faithful.
A Counselor Friend
“Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel” (Prov. 27:9).
A friend is one who is going to take the time to counsel and seek to give the best counsel that they can. We have one whose very name is Counselor (Isa. 9:6). Young people who go to school have guidance counselors and career counselors. This may be very helpful in bringing before you certain bents to your nature and abilities and so on, but they often just give the wisdom and counsel of this world. But there is one who will never give you false or faulty counsel, one whose very name is Wisdom. Do we go to the one who is our best friend and the best consultant that you could have?
The Queen of Sheba, when she came to Solomon, a picture of the Lord Jesus, had a lot of hard questions, lots of things that were troubling her that she did not understand. When she got into the presence of Solomon, it tells us that he answered every one of her hard questions. There wasn’t anything hid from the king that he told her not. And her heart was satisfied with his answers. Did you ever go to somebody with a question from the Bible and get an answer and you say, yes, that was good; I got a little light on the matter, but it really didn’t fully answer the question. We have the answer book from the One who wrote it. I think it was David who said I have more understanding than all my teachers because I love Thy precepts. When you get into the Word of God and search it for the answers, you are going to find that your heart will be fully satisfied and everything will be answered to your satisfaction. So we have one who counsels us. He is our great counselor.
A Sympathizing Friend
“Our friend Lazarus sleepeth, but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep” (John 11:11). The Lord Jesus referred to Lazarus as our friend: precious, isn’t it? This little home in Bethany was one of the few homes in the pathway of the Lord Jesus where the Lord Jesus was really welcome — the foxes had holes, the birds of the air had nests, but the Son of Man had not where to lay His head. We read later on that every man went to his own house while Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. There was one home, at least, where the Lord Jesus on a number of occasions delighted to turn His weary steps, to sit down in the midst of those that He considered His friends, and to have His spirit refreshed. We love to be with friends that refresh us, don’t we? You say, I just love to be with that person. I love to be with those people. Young people, when we’re together, we can give a lot of refreshment.
What kind of companions or friends do we choose? I’m not talking about casual acquaintances. I’m not talking about our schoolmates or our fellow workers, but those whom we consider our true friends. Someone has said that our friends are like the buttons of an elevator. They will take you either up or down. They will be for your good and encouragement, in following the Lord, or they will drag you down in your path of faith.
In Bethany we find that a sorrow had come into this home. I have no doubt that sorrows come into your home, too. Jesus went to the home and as the sympathizing friend, He weeps with these sisters. He weeps as He saw the awful effects that sin had brought into the world. And He wept in sympathy with Mary and Martha, who felt the loss of their brother so keenly. And if you are going through a sorrow now, just remember, there’s One who weeps in sympathy with you.
The great Physician now is near,
The sympathizing Jesus;
He speaks, the drooping heart to cheer:
Oh hear the voice of Jesus.
He is there as that friend in every trial. He knows every tear. And in the Psalms it tells us that so much does He sympathize with us and know our sorrows that He takes our tears and He puts them in His bottle; He doesn’t forget them. I’ve forgotten a lot of tears and sorrows that I’ve been through. The Lord Jesus has them all stored up in His bottle.
He is the sympathizing Friend, no matter what the sorrow. Oh, go to Him. It is wonderful to have earthly friends and brethren that sympathize with us. But there is nothing like getting alone with this Friend who weeps with us and fully understands.
The Altogether Lovely Friend
“This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem” (Song of Sol. 5:16). The bride has been enumerating the qualities and glories of her bridegroom. She concludes, “He is altogether lovely.” When you get to know a new friend, you see some very pleasing qualities in that friend. But the more you get to know them, the more you realize there are some idiosyncrasies and personality traits that aren’t so pleasing. You say, I just wish there wasn’t this or that in the friend. But the more you get to know the Lord Jesus, the more you realize, “He is altogether lovely.” You won’t find any imperfection. In fact, the better you know Him, the better you understand and appreciate those qualities — that He is altogether lovely. Let us learn to understand and appreciate more the friendship of this divine person, the Lord Jesus.
Abraham the Friend of God
“The Scripture was fulfilled, which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the friend of God” (James 2:23). We often speak of Abraham as the man of faith, and he was, but he was not only a man of faith, but as a result of being a man of faith, he was a man of obedience too. And as a result, we find that he is referred to as the friend of God. Again, wouldn’t you like that kind of commendation from the Lord Jesus? How true is it that we are characterized as men and women of faith and obedience? That’s what He wants. Every spark of faith there is in your life and mine He is going to reward. “Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward” (Heb. 10:25). Every time we act in obedience to His Word, He values it so much that He jots it down in His book of remembrance. By doing so, He, as it were, says, Here is another commendation for my friend. I picture it that when the book of remembrance opens in heaven with Abraham’s name, it will say, Abraham, the friend of God obeyed today; he put his confidence in Me today; he took his son to Mount Moriah; he moved his tent to where I told him. Would not you like those kinds of things written after your name, brother and sister?
Moses the Friend of God
“The Lord spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend” (Ex. 33:11). A friend is someone that you spend time with, not someone that you simply know through social media. The problem today is there is more communication but less interaction. But what the Lord wants is not just communication; He wants interaction as well. Here was the Lord Jesus speaking face to face with Moses. Do you and I really get into the presence of the Lord Jesus as our friend like that? It is not just to speak to Him as somebody that is afar off, somebody that’s up in heaven, but somebody that is right with us in every circumstance of life. How could the Lord on this occasion speak to Moses face to face? Very grievous sin had come into the camp of Israel. It grieved the heart of God and it caused the governmental ways of God with His people. Moses hadn’t been part of that. Moses had been up on the mount with God. He had not been part of the sin because he had been in the presence of God previously. And because he had been preserved in personal purity and holiness, He was able, being the friend of God, to have God speak face to face with him.
If you want to have a relationship like that with the Lord, you must maintain personal purity. You say, well, everybody’s doing it. When Moses looked out, it was the whole camp, all the people of God. But Moses kept himself pure. Joshua did too. As a result, there was a relationship, and he is referred to as the friend of God.
Spiritual Adultery
“Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God” (James 4:4). We are not to make friendship with the world. That doesn’t mean we don’t need to be friendly. We certainly need to get along with our neighbors, co-workers and fellow students. But are we to be intimate with those that are ungodly? The things they seek are those things that will take our hearts away from the Lord Jesus and following Him.
Let’s search our hearts. The psalmist said, “With my whole heart have I sought after Thee.” He wants all of our hearts; let us watch for anything that takes our hearts away from following Him. If something takes our hearts away from following the One who has espoused us to Himself, it’s adultery. That’s why He accused them of adultery in the Old Testament when they turned to idols, because it was a very serious thing for their hearts to go after something or someone other than Himself. And so we are not to make friends with the world in that way.
“Greet the friends by name” (3 John 14). We can, as friends, encourage one another. And let’s learn more godly intimacy with one another in the context of friendship, and learn to greet one another by name. Not just casual acquaintance, but to greet one another by name. It is wonderful to have friends that encourage us, but more wonderful to have the greatest Friend, that Friend who sticks closer than a brother and who will never leave us nor forsake us.
J. Hyland (from an address, adapted)
The Friend That Never Changes
Dear friends, we are living in a world that is full of change. On every hand we see change. But isn’t it blessed for us to know that there is One who changes not? We are often frustrated and disappointed as we see the constant change in this world. People hardly know what to do because jobs are uncertain, friends are uncertain, banks fail, weather patterns change. It just seems that we are constantly reminded of changes. But isn’t it very precious that we can be occupied with a Friend who is altogether lovely? There is nothing that we would ever want to alter about this Friend, because He is perfect in everything — in love, in grace and in faithfulness.
That is what is pictured in the meal offering when it speaks about fine flour. When we think of natural friends, we usually think of one virtue that stands out; that person is very generous or very thoughtful —one thing in which they excel. But we have a Friend who equally excels in everything — love, grace and even in correction if it is needed. He knows exactly what we need and ministers that correction to us.
When we see this world so constantly in the process of change, how precious it is to read in Hebrews 1, “Thou art the same, and Thy years shall not fail.” Whether we are a child, a young person or an adult, we can have this same Friend. He understands your childhood. Even in the millennial Jerusalem we read of the streets of that city being full of boys and girls playing. We don’t always understand what goes through a child’s mind, but isn’t it lovely to know that the Lord Jesus understands even a child?
As we grow older we change, we have new desires and we want certain things. Isn’t it blessed to know that this Friend is One who understands? He watched your body and mine before they ever entered into this scene (Psa. 139:16). You don’t have any other friend like the Lord Jesus who knows all your physical and emotional makeup and who understands you perfectly. But He is not One who changes as earthly friends do. “I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed” (Mal. 3:6). We are changing all the time. But this Friend, our blessed Lord Jesus Christ, loves us just the same.
G. H. Hayhoe (from a 1985 talk)
Friends
Gary, a middle-aged man, recounted that when in seventh grade he was very shy, awkward and virtually friendless. He often looked with yearning at Rod, a tall, popular ninth grader who, excelling in studies and sports, was the leader of the most popular group of students. Rod never paid attention to Gary—never, that is, until shortly before the school election for student body president.
Gary remembered how surprised and pleased he felt when Rod stopped in the hall one day and made a special attempt to talk with him. He wanted to know how he was doing, how he liked his teachers, seeming to display genuine interest in him. For the next several days, Rod showed that same friendly interest, patting him on the back, talking with him, and even including him in his circle of friends. How important, happy and accepted Gary felt!
And, of course, on the day of the election, there was no doubt in Gary’s mind who should be student body president. He voted for his new “friend,” Rod.
And in doing so he learned a painful lesson.
After Rod was elected president of the student body, he seemed to have forgotten about Gary. He never again spoke to him or showed the slightest interest in him. Rod was no longer Gary’s “friend.”
The world promotes friendship as something to be much desired, yet knows little of its true meaning.
Real Friends Don’t Compromise
Scripture gives many accounts, warnings and instructions concerning the subject of friends. Some were true friends who brought blessing and comfort to their companions. Others acted like friends, but brought unhappiness, disaster and even death. May we all (especially dear parents of young children) take careful heed in these last, dark days to the Bible’s divine principles concerning “friends.”
The world, promoting tolerance as a mark of true friendship, assumes that Christians ought to show love and acceptance even of that which God calls abomination. Its goal is that the divine, unchanging principles of God’s infallible Word be disregarded—denied by any who would be its friend.
How solemnly the Bible warns of friends and friendships with those who might bring spiritual or natural disaster to believers’ faith, families and lives.
Subtle, Deadly Friends
In 2 Samuel 13 we read of the sin Amnon, a son of King David, committed against his half-sister Tamar. Though indeed guilty of that wickedness, there is a chilling note in his history which shows how he was encouraged into that sin: “Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab... a very subtle man” (2 Sam. 13:3). Amnon accepted his “friend’s” deceitful, subtle advice to indulge that sin — advice that cost the weak-willed young man his honor and his life.
Too Many Friends
There is also a very interesting and solemn verse found in Proverbs 18:24. “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. ” This verse might seem as though it is encouraging Christians to gain many friends. But a better translation gives a solemn warning which all (especially parents, as they raise their children) do well to heed: “A man of many friends will come to ruin but there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (JND).
The world’s great emphasis on true friendship as being totally accepting and non-judgmental sounds good and reasonable. But without God’s divine light and guidance, it is a terrible, deadly philosophy. The book which gives heavenly wisdom for our earthly pathway clearly warns of the ruinous results of “having many friends.” The danger is that in order to have “many friends,” a Christian will be required to compromise His obedience to the Word of God.
For parents, it is especially important to teach children the Biblical character of true friendship, being careful to not instill in them a desire for popularity. Children need loving, tender dispositions and wisdom in choosing their friends. Let us follow for ourselves and teach our dear children the divine key to having happy friendships and faithful friends. “I am a companion of all them that fear Thee, and of them that keep Thy precepts” (Psa. 119:63).
Faithful Friendship
A friend worth having does not demand as a condition of friendship the acceptance of what dishonors the Lord. A true, godly friend will have the moral courage to rebuke disobedience in another. The blessed Lord in perfect love and wisdom, seeking to encourage two of His beloved disciples, says to them, “O fools [senseless], and slow of heart to believe” (Luke 24:25), a perfect rebuke from a heart of infinite, divine love from a true Friend!
Again in Proverbs we read of this same principle: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:6). Sometimes painful words must be spoken in order to save a friend from a path of sorrow. That is what characterizes a true friend. We have only to read of Absalom’s treachery against his father David (2 Sam. 15:5) to learn how deceitful pretended friendship can be in stealing the heart. Job had three friends, yet it was Elihu who was his best and truest friend. He spoke God’s thoughts. Though Job may not have felt much comfort as he heard them, they brought blessing.
A Friend of Sinners
But wasn’t the Lord Jesus a friend of sinners in order to be a blessing to them (see Luke 7:34; 15:2)? Yes. But He never was in fellowship with their sin. He came “to seek and save that which was lost.” Those such as “publicans and sinners” who felt their need and came to Him found a perfect Friend. He was surely the most accessible of men—a true friend to and One who loved the sinner. But He was ever, as perfect Man yet very God, “holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners” (Heb. 7:26), always available yet never tainted by sin (Heb. 4:15).
Never in the Bible do we find that being a true friend to others requires a Christian to walk or act in a way that dishonors the Lord or disobeys God’s Word. May each have a growing desire to be a faithful friend that “loveth at all times” (Prov. 17:17) and one who fears the Lord in all they do (Prov. 1:7).
D. Nicolet, The Christian Shepherd, 2004
Are You a Friend of Jesus?
Is it not a great blessing to have a friend, one that loves and cares for us, and to whom we can freely open our minds? If you have such a friend, do not think lightly of the mercy, but set a high value upon him and show friendliness towards him, for the Scripture says, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly; and there is a Friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24). We all know how intimately Jonathan and David were united in friendship, Saul’s son loving the son of Jesse as his own soul. But what a beautiful title that is by which Abraham is called, in James 2:23, “the friend of God.” And more blessed still is that which is written in Isaiah 41:8, where God Himself, speaking of him, says, “Abraham My friend.” If a king or nobleman or person of distinction and renown were to say of you or me, That man or that woman or that youth is my friend, should we not feel gratified by such a mark of his favor? But for the Lord God Almighty, the Creator of heaven and earth, to call a man, “subject to like passions as we are,” HIS friend was amazing grace and condescension on His part and a great honor to the one whom He so called.
Let us not forget, however, that the ways of Abraham were generally well-pleasing to God, for He said of him, “I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment.” He was a man of faith, who obeyed God, living a godly life himself, and who brought up his children and servants in the fear of God, and that pleased the Lord. Now if you have a friend, one that has been tried and proved to be trustworthy, and you have an important matter which you are at liberty to disclose, will you not make it known to him? To be sure you will. And just so the Lord did with His friend, for He said, “Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do?” So He communed with Abraham about the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah, which was so very grievous in His sight that He said that unless they repented He would destroy them. Then, as we know, Abraham used the intimacy he had with the Lord to plead with Him to spare the city for the sake of the righteous which were in it. (See Genesis 18.)
There is another very sweet passage upon this subject in John 15, where the Lord Jesus says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are My friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of My Father I have made known unto you.” Let us observe that these precious words are addressed by the Lord to His disciples. Now, what is a disciple? A learner in the school of Christ, one who not only believes in Him, but who is also a follower of Him, and seeks to be obedient to Him in all things. Now to them the Lord says, “Ye are My friends.” Wondrous words for the Son of God to say of any of us who own Him both as our Savior and our Lord. And He not only calls us friends, but He acts towards us as such by opening His mind freely to us, as He says, “All things that I have heard of My Father I have made known unto you.” As the Word of God further shows us, it is by the Holy Spirit opening to us the Scriptures that we “know the things that are freely given to us of God,” for He “hath revealed them unto us by His Spirit; for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.”
Now, do we value this friendship? If we do, we shall certainly be found seeking to do the will of the Lord, taking His yoke upon us, and learning of Him who is meek and lowly in heart. But this we know: We cannot have His friendship and that of the world too, for “the friendship of the world is enmity with God” (James 4:4). May we, then, be kept walking in communion with the Lord and His truth, for the “secret of the Lord is with them that fear Him; and He will show them His covenant” (Psa. 25:14); so shall we be kept from fellowship with the world, which cast Him out and crucified Him, and which cannot love those who are His, because they are not of the world, even as He is not of the world.
The Evangelist, Vol. 1 (1867)
What a Friend We Have in Jesus
Most of you are probably familiar with the hymn, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” The hymn is well-known even outside the English-speaking world, and it has been translated into a number of other languages. It has been sung in Italian in the Vatican in Rome and in Russian in Moscow. However, many do not know how the hymn came to be written and how the writer not only enjoyed the Lord Jesus as a dear Friend, but also reflected that same character as a friend to others.
Joseph Scriven was born in 1819 in Ireland and grew up in turbulent times, as Ireland endured economic decline. He graduated from Trinity College in 1842 and eventually weathered the well-known Great Irish Famine when the potato crop failed in 1845. But most important in his early life was his accepting Christ as his Savior at the young age of eight and becoming interested in those who simply met together to worship as brethren, apart from any denomination.
The Loss of His Fiancée
One year following his graduation from Trinity, he was engaged to be married. On the eve of their wedding, his fiancée was drowned in his full view, but he was unable to do anything to save her. Needless to say, this was a terrible shock to him, and shortly afterward he emigrated to Canada. His mother bought him an expensive overcoat so that he could withstand the harsh winters of Canada, but while walking down the streets of Dublin he met a beggar, and later he told his mother, “I gave my coat to a man who needed it more than I did.” It was an attitude and an action that would characterize Joseph Scriven’s entire life.
He returned to Ireland the following year after he became ill in Canada, and he was then invited to tour the Middle East. It was there, in Damascus, while walking down Straight Street and thinking about the conversion of Saul of Tarsus (later the Apostle Paul), that the inspiration for his most famous hymn came to him. It was written as a poem, and he sent a copy home to his mother. Upon returning to England, he began teaching and preaching. Again he courted a young woman, but when a rival suitor appeared, Scriven yielded unselfishly to him.
The Third Bereavement
Joseph Scriven returned to Canada, this time permanently, and worked for a few years in the Woodstock-Brantford area of Ontario. Some years later he moved farther east in Ontario to the town of Port Hope. It was here that he spent his most fruitful years, but he also experienced another tragedy. At the age of 40, he again became engaged, to a girl named Catherine Roche. She had recently been saved and was baptized in Rice Lake in April. The icy waters of the lake resulted in a bout of pneumonia, and Catherine passed away after several months of suffering. This third bereavement had the greatest effect on Joseph Scriven, and he remained single for the rest of his life.
While all of this certainly saddened him, it seemed only to increase his devotedness to Christ, his desire to share the gospel, and his friendship with those in need. He often preached publicly, gave out gospel tracts and sometimes a poem he had written. By 1857 some of his intimate friends knew about the poem, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” However, he wrote many other hymns (more than 100), although most of them are unknown and unsung today.
Work for the Poor
One more incident is worth repeating. In 1864, in downtown Port Hope, two women were walking along the street. They saw a middle-aged man coming toward them carrying a sawhorse and a bucksaw. One woman greeted the man, and the other asked, “Do you know that man? I want a man to cut wood, and it is hard to find one who will do it well.” The other woman replied, “That is Joseph Scriven, but you can’t get him; he won’t cut wood for you.” The other asked, “Why not?” “Because,” came the answer, “you are able to pay for it. He saws wood for poor widows and sick people; he often sends them wood and hires a man to cut it for them. He has income from the old country and spends it all on the poor, except for what he needs to support himself in a quiet way.”
Another question came: “How long has he been engaged in doing this?” “I can’t say for certain,” came the reply, “but I have heard that when he was a young man about to be married, his fiancée was accidentally drowned the day before the wedding. As he steadfastly gazed on the face of the dead, he was so deeply impressed with the vanity of all earthly joys and hopes that he consecrated his heart, his life and his fortune to the service of Christ.”
He went to be with the Lord in 1886, at the age of 67. He was buried near Rice Lake, Ontario, beside the last woman to whom he was engaged, Catherine Roche. We can certainly say of Joseph Scriven, as it is said of Abel of old, “He being dead yet speaketh” (Heb. 11:4).
W. J. Prost
A Friend Indeed
Yes, there is ONE indeed
In whom these blessings blend;
The very Friend of souls in need,
And faithful to the end.
His love, so true and pure,
Is an undying flame;
Through every change it does endure,
And JESUS is His name.
What grace on earth He showed,
To those who mourned and sighed;
And, oh! what depth of love o’erflowed,
When He for sinners died.
Exalted now on high,
With glory crowned above,
He stoops to hear each feeble cry,
And answer it in love.
Then turn thou unto Him,
Whate’er thy woe and grief;
What though thine eyes with tears be dim,
He’ll give thee full relief.
Oh, lay thy head and heart
Upon His holy breast,
And He will heal thy bosom’s smart,
And be Himself thy rest.
Good News for Young and Old, Vol. 25