An area of great weakness and misunderstanding in many Christian homes is that of leadership. Many husbands have given up their God-given responsibility as "head" because of disinterest, involvement at work, or lack of energy. They have, in fact, abdicated the place God has given them as head of the wife to take that of a carefree man. Wives then begin to pick up the responsibility little by little, until the husband is no longer the head. This type of home is vulnerable to subtle suggestions of the enemy. (See Gen. 3:11Now the serpent was more subtile than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? (Genesis 3:1).) Furthermore, a wife now assumes a load which God did not intend the woman to bear, since she is the weaker vessel. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." 1 Peter 3:77Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7).
It is essential for every head of the household to realize that he is not the source of direction, but the channel. Dependence on the Lord in earnest prayer and listening to His voice in His Word and that inner voice of communion with the Lord are of great importance. Every head not only sends out direction, but is a center for the reception of many important signals. Each of these requires a response. Thus, every husband and father should be responsive to the needs of his family.
Spiritual Food
Almost every day our wives spend much of their time planning and preparing appetizing meals. In like manner, husbands and fathers have the responsibility of providing spiritual meals for our families. This meal preparation should begin in the morning. It might be good to get up a little early and get the Scriptures out for a little search and meditation. As the day goes by we should seek the help of the Lord to help us prepare an appetizing meal. A good cook not only finds out what some of the nutritional needs of the family are, but, also, has a change of menu now and then. The family reading is the most important time of the day. Fathers and husbands, you are the cooks who have the responsibility and joy of putting this spiritual meal together. "Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all." 1 Tim. 4:1515Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all. (1 Timothy 4:15).
Redeeming the Time
Today we. are living in an age of extreme spiritual and moral danger. "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come." 2 Tim. 3:11This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. (2 Timothy 3:1). It may well be the most dangerous time in history because of the subtle nature of the evil. What does the Holy Spirit tell us is so important in an evil day? Redeeming the time!
Most of us are living in the fast lane of life. The demands at our employment have increased as well as the problems at home. The high payload of stress is leading to the brink of emotional disaster and we are beginning to resemble a loaded semi on a steep mountain grade without brakes. The pressures, problems and extracurricular activities of our children at school are also demanding. What is wrong? Perhaps we need to come to a halt and consider our priorities. For an example:
1. Do you spend time each day giving the Lord the first place in your life and schedule?
2. Do you spend time each day communicating, not only the day's events, but your deep feelings of love toward your family?
3. Do you spend several hours a day playing with your children or helping them with their homework?
4. Are you willing to analyze your time and to get rid of those items that are wasting hours of your time?
5. Do you plan events on a regular basis that give you time alone with your family?
Time spent with the Lord Jesus Christ and with your family is redeemed time.
Husbands Love Your Wives
Ephesians gives us the highest truth ever delivered to the Church in the first half of the book, and some very practical truths in the second half. In Eph. 5 are some very well-worn pages in the Bibles of most married couples. Toward the end of the chapter we find the key, "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church." Eph. 5:3232This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:32). Although no one can see Christ and His mystical body, God has given us a picture in every Christian husband and wife. Now we will consider an area of great need which includes four different kinds of love.
Sacrificing love:"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it." Eph. 5:2525Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25). If we were just given the exhortation to love our wives, we would all agree that this is much needed. Then we are given the measure: "as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it." This divine love knows no limits, even death itself. It is the very same love that took the Lord Jesus Christ to the cross. No admonition to the husband receives a greater emphasis than this one, since it is the area of great failure.
The cross was a load that only Christ could bear. He sacrificed and suffered for the benefit and comfort of His Bride. Likewise, when husbands come home at night, there are opportunities waiting at the door, to sacrifice and unload the burdens of their wives. Thus a picture is formed of Christ and the Church. Meditation on the scene of Calvary's cross and all of the infinite and awesome nature of that love and its display will lead a husband to greater sacrifice, even when he is tired.
In Rev. 2:1-71Unto the angel of the church of Ephesus write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand, who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks; 2I know thy works, and thy labor, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars: 3And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name's sake hast labored, and hast not fainted. 4Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love. 5Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent. 6But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God. (Revelation 2:1‑7), we read about an assembly of believers who were energetic, active workers for Christ. They had kept out evil and had great endurance under trial. One thing was missing, however, first love. First love is the kind of love that occurs naturally in a new relationship and then often fades. The Lord wanted this first love back in His relationship with His Bride and offered a great reward, the tree of life, for those who would overcome this condition.
As time goes on in a Christian marriage, our apprehension of divine love should increase. Paul's prayer for the Philippians was that their "love may abound yet more and more." Phil. 1:99And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; (Philippians 1:9). "Abound more and more" means to increase with time. This increasing capacity to love is dependent upon a person's spiritual growth. It could flatten out or even decline in the life of a person who is starving spiritually. If that capacity to love is increasing with time, the effect will be felt in our marriage. God intended every marriage to have a love that increases with time and retains all of the elements of first love. As with Christ and His Bride, there is a great reward waiting for those who regain their first love.
After the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus, He ascended up into heaven to perform various functions. One of these is to sanctify or set apart to Himself the Church through the cleansing power of His Word. With the record of her sin forever washed away in His precious blood, He seeks then to bring the practical state of His beloved Bride in line with her perfect standing. The spots, stains and irregularities of His Church that occur in daily life are cleansed by His Word. This cleansing effect sets her apart to Himself from the world and its sinful state.
The lesson in the pattern laid down by the Lord Jesus Christ is to let the Word of God make the cleansing changes in our lives. If a husband has "sanctifying love," he will read the pages of this life-changing Book with his wife. The result will be that both husband and wife are changed and their marriage will be set apart from the unconverted world. This requires time and patience.
After completing the work of the cross, the Lord ascended to heaven and took His place as head of the Church. As its head, He not only provided direction, but a sympathetic, caring love to every member. Every pain and every heartache is fully felt by Him. He understands and enters into the trials of His Bride and supports her through every trial.
How different this attitude is from that of many husbands who are often insensitive to the pain and trials of their mates. When part of the body sends a message of pain, we never question it or criticize it, but begin a program of sympathetic care and support that will lead to a recovery. Emotional hurts are just as great as physical hurts, and if they are not treated with sympathetic love, they will produce scar tissue that will be insensitive to the needs of others later on.
When God laid out the blueprint for marriage, He never added a default clause. It would be impossible to think of Christ divorcing the Church because of her unfaithfulness. His love is unseverable in spite of her failure.
Today the devil is effectively driving in the wedge between husband and wife. Perhaps he hates the picture he sees of Christ and His Bride, and he wants to obliterate it before the eyes of the world. This verse clearly states that there will be a separation between a husband and his parents, but never between a husband and his wife. D. Spence