ABOUT the year 1873 I became a communicant. As a preliminary to this step I attended a Bible class, conducted by the minister of the church, composed of a number of young men and women, " intending communicants." Instruction on portions of the Bible was given by the minister, and he asked us questions on the scriptures. Having gone through this introductory course, which stretched over several weeks, along with the others, I was admitted to church membership. Had anyone put such a question to me, “Are you born again," conscience must have led me to say, "No," for I knew without doubt that I was not.
We were bidden remember the seriousness of the step we were taking, and I resolved to be as religious as I could, so as to be equal for the occasion. As the communion would only come once in six months, it did not seem 'very hard to try to be good and to feel a kind of solemnity for that one day. At any rate, I was determined to try my best. Before the close of the Friday evening service, tokens were put into our hands, which we were to present on the following Sunday when admitted as “communicants “to the Lord's table. In this way I was made a “church member," and had my name written on the communion roll, but it was not in this way that I was made a member of the Church of the first-born, whose names are written in heaven.
I remained very much the same as I was before, walking according to the course of this world, and delighting in things not according to godliness. I had tried the plan of putting a piece of new cloth on an old garment, but it did not improve matters at all. Probably the rent was made worse, certainly it was not made any better. Now and again the old life, the life according to the flesh, was reined in, and held more rigidly in check, but it was always ready to exercise its energies the moment that the reins slackened.
Things continued in this way for a few years, until one day an unexpected change came over me, a change for which I have had abundant reason to bless God ever since. I was at church one Sunday afternoon, and during the sermon was considerably affected and thoroughly stirred up, though, try as I might, I could not afterwards bring to my mind anything in particular which the minister said to affect me so much. A sense of contrition had so strongly laid hold upon me that all else was thrown into oblivion. God was certainly at work in my soul. Conscience was aroused, and I could not keep back the tears. These would flow, though I sought to brush them stealthily away, for I did not like the idea of being seen shedding tears.
But while I could brush away the tears I could not brush away the conviction that had entered into my soul. It remained with me after the service was over, and followed me all the way home. When I arrived there, feeling restless and uneasy, I went out into the garden, and walked up and down; but nothing could sooth and heal my wounded spirit. What my thoughts were I cannot now recall, nor put them into words, but before I re-entered the house I surrendered myself to Jesus, seeing in Him my all-sufficient Savior. In a moment perfect peace possessed me, a peace that all the intervening years have not sufficed to impair or destroy.
When I got inside I found that tea was ready, and, sitting down with my wife, I there and then offered thanks to God for the mercies provided. I had not been accustomed to do this.
Like others, when I had sat down to a graceless table, I would justify myself in not asking a blessing by the remark that the mercies were all blessed before they came there. Grace, however, immediately on its entering my heart, led me to give thanks. The instincts of the new nature, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit at once led me to pour out my heart in thanksgiving to God. All my old excuses for beginning meals without an acknowledgment of God at once disappeared, never more through His grace to reappear.
Tea over, I got the Bible in my hand, and read it as I had never read it all my life before.
I did not read it to find out an answer to a foolish and infidel question, but with intense eagerness of soul, to see what God said about salvation. I searched with diligence and with care, as a man will do who is on the search for hidden treasure. The way of salvation had been hid from mine eyes, and as the light of the glorious gospel of Christ began to shine in, I marveled how such a beautifully simple plan as “Believe and Live" had not been seen by me before. I did not then know, as I do now, that regeneration is necessary to an understanding of revelation. Christ had brought life, and this life brought light, turning darkness into day.
To me it was a gracious change indeed. Fourteen years have come and gone since then, each year serving to prove that blessed is the people that know the joyful sound. J. C.