"I have often tried to be a Christian, but I have failed. Sometimes I think I am one, but soon the happy feelings are gone and I am just as bad as ever, so there is no use in my professing."
You need not be troubled about your ability to "hold on". The moment you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, God gives you eternal life and He promises you will never perish. Don't worry about "holding on"; that's His job. He will hold on to you. After you are saved, the same Christ who saved you from wrath will keep you safe all the way home to heaven.
His name shall be called Jesus: for He shall save His people from their sins, and He is able to keep you from falling. He has promised never to leave nor forsake those who put their trust in Him. The moment you believe on Jesus you are His, and He has pledged His word to guide, guard and keep you, and to give you strength and grace to live and work for Him. I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. (Isa. 41:13.)
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