I WAS calling on a very old servant of God, who had for many years been walking in His ways, and he told me how a young man, who had lately died in India, had preached there once, and had also spoken at two prayer-meetings in the neighborhood; " and, indeed, I think that he was very plain, and like a little child; his words were made a blessing to many—my next-door neighbor received great benefit, any way.”
“Was she actually converted to God?" I asked.
“Well, I wouldn't like to say that but I would hope she is in the right way; she loves to speak on those things, and I am sure she would be glad to speak to you, if you would see her.”
“I should only be too glad. Do you think she would come over here? You might send one of the children for her," I said.
“I think I’ll go myself," he said," it would look more respectful-like.”
“Very well," I said; and in a few minutes he returned with his friend, a nice, frank young woman, who shook hands with me as she sat down, and looking me straight in the face with her large honest eyes, she told me at once how she used to love to listen to the preaching of my cousin—" He spoke so simply and so plainly.”
I told her a little about him—how he lived at one time with me; and then I asked her had she herself got that great salvation which he used to preach.
“I don't know that," she said; I often feel so cold, that I fear I have never received it.”
“But do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as your own Savior?”
“Well," she said, "I've got this far, that I know there is no one else to look to.”
“But do you look to Him?" I said.
“Oh, indeed I do," she said, "but I often feel so cold. and careless, and then at other times I have such evil thoughts coming into my mind, and even love what is wrong, that I say to myself—How can I be a Christian? and then I go to my knees, and, after prayer to God, I feel so much happier, that I sometimes think that after all I may be a Christian!”
“You must remember one thing," I said, "that even after you do really believe in Jesus, and get salvation, you don't get rid of the old evil nature." She looked at the astonished. "No," I said, " the flesh is still there; for if you remember, in Gal. 5 the Galatian believers are told, that if they walk in the Spirit, they should not fulfill the lust of the flesh; for the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary the one to the other, so that ye cannot [or more properly, should not] do the things that ye would [naturally].' Now, St. Paul gave these directions about the flesh to people who had the Spirit, which proves that the flesh, or old evil nature, is in the true believer, who has the Spirit; and if you lived a true servant of God for forty years, you would have it there still; and more than that, it would never be any better. You might mortify it, and keep it under as dead, so that it would not appear, but it would never be any better. When a person really believes in the Lord Jesus, he gets eternal life, and this life is a new principle in him, and it loves to do the will of God, and to please Him; and the believer lives in this new life, as Paul said, I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me.' All the aspirations of this life are heavenly and upwards, while all the aspirations of the flesh are after the earth, and sinful, and wrong. The true Christian is made up of two parts—the new spiritual life in Christ, and the flesh; and in proportion as you cultivate the former, and walk in the Spirit, the happier feelings you will have, and the more the flesh will be kept under.”
“I understand it better now," she said." I never understood about the Spirit and the flesh before; and I know He does promise the Spirit to those who believe.”
“To be sure He does," I said," and He gives the Spirit to those who do believe in Him: so if you really believe in Him as your Savior, you need not doubt your having eternal life because you feel in you the old nature, which loves sin, and is estranged from God: but by the power of the Spirit, you should mortify it; and if you walk in the Spirit, you shall not fulfill or yield to its desires. Do you really believe that God has accepted the death of Christ as an atonement for YOUR sins, and that His own Son suffered for YOU; and bore the curse of YOUR sins on the cross?”
“I do, indeed," she said, "and that I am only a poor sinner, and unable to do anything myself.”
“Well," I said, " hear what the Lord says to you, Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on Him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.' Now, can you not take Him at His word in this matter?”
“I think I can," she said;" but what about the future?”
“Come with me a little further on, to the tenth chapter, and listen—' My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me; and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father which gave them me is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.”
“But if I were really converted to God, don't you think that I should be so filled with love for Christ, that there would no longer be any sin in me?”
“Not necessarily," I said, “because, as I have been explaining to you, the flesh is unhappily still in you; and if you do not walk in the Spirit, it will quickly bring forth sin.”
“But I must have some love for Christ; and mine is often so very cold!”
“But," said I, “it is not your love to God saves you, but His love to you. My love to Him often varies— sometimes I scarcely feel any love for Him, I'm ashamed to say; but His love to me never varies.
Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.' And then again, you may remember how the apostle of love ' never speaks of himself as the disciple who loved Jesus, but as ' the disciple whom Jesus loved.' And perhaps," said I," if you cannot call yourself the disciple who loved Jesus, you could yet speak of yourself as the disciple whom Jesus loved! Remember, it is not your feelings save you; it is not your love saves you; but it is when you believe God's Word about His Son Jesus having been made sin for you, and rising again for your justification, your faith is counted to you for righteousness, like Abraham of old, who believed God, and it was counted to him for righteousness.' Happy feelings are the fruits of the Spirit—so are love, joy, peace—you may have them, or you may not, according as you walk in the Spirit; but they are by no means the grounds of your salvation. The ground of your salvation is Christ's finished work, and your believing in Him as a poor sinner; for it was not written for Abraham's sake alone that it was imputed to him, but for us also, to whom it shall be imputed, if we believe on Rim that raised up Jesus our Lord from the dead, who was delivered for our offenses, and was raised again for our justification.' (Rom. 4:23-2523Now it was not written for his sake alone, that it was imputed to him; 24But for us also, to whom it shall be imputed, if we believe on him that raised up Jesus our Lord from the dead; 25Who was delivered for our offences, and was raised again for our justification. (Romans 4:23‑25).) All this proves clearly that it is not your feelings, not your love to Him, which saves you, but your believing on Him who tells you that He has so loved you, that He has given His own Son to die for you—to be made sin for you—and to rise again for your justification; and 'by Him all that believe are justified from all things." (Acts 13:3939And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses. (Acts 13:39).)
At this time, I found the train was just going, and I had only time to say, "Good-bye;" but I give you the substance of our conversation, as the difficulties of one are often the difficulties of another in spiritual matters.
T. W. T.