Kirkland Conference: 1984
Table of Contents
God's Wisdom for a happy marriage
Address—G.H. Hayhoe
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Same around couples here. Why? I just thought I might speak a little bit about marriage and three important things in connection with it. To return first of all to Ecclesiastes 4th chapter 4 verse 9. Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor.
Or if they fall, one will help up his fellow, but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up in 12TH verse. And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Well, here we find the blessing of marriage. We know that that the Lord planned that even before sin entered. It tells us that God said it was not good that man should be alone. I will make.
Help me for him. And so God was the one who provided the help made for Adam, not to be above him, not to be below him, but from his side, so that she could share. I've often said that God never intended that men and women should be in competition. He intended that they should help each other. The husband being placed in his position as head by God and his wife being the helper.
Any man who.
Who has really had a happy life and in a certain sense, some measure of successful life has always had a life behind him that helped him. And you know, that was God's plan. What is spoiling the world today is the idea of competition. And many women are out to show that they're just as good as a man. Well, there's no question about that. I don't have the slightest question or doubt about they're just as good because God wouldn't make it help me. For Adam, that was inferior to him.
But if she was going to compete with him, then she wouldn't be a helper. It would always be striving together who was going to be on top and who was going to be able to show the other person what they could do. But God made a helpmate, as I say, and not one that.
He or she could look up to one another, but from his side so that they could share in life. And I believe that was God's plan. In the present society where women are in competition with men, why everything is spoiled because a man can't fill a woman's place, but a woman can often because she's intellectually as clever, she can fill a man's place. And so she just leaves an empty void because.
A man can't be.
Mother in the home, we can't bear children, so she just leaves an empty void. The home is broken up, and with the home also unhappiness and sorrow in the assembly and in the world. But for God, in God's plan we see how He planned so that there would be a happy relationship, so that each one of us might share and receive a blessing.
And when a woman says, well, I'm as clever as a man and I can go out and work in business.
Why God? He's a clever woman in the home, and he needed ones that were able to fulfill a place in the home, a wonderful place, a God-given place. And so the man is left without anything because he can't fill that place. And the girl who he, God, fitted to fill that place, why she's out doing something that only spoils her own happiness and spoils everything even in the world.
Well, we don't expect to set the world right with it, but we do trust that we who are Christians would follow the light of God's Word because God has given us wisdom and His Word. And it's not the wisdom of man, it's the wisdom of God. It's what He planned. And so if we follow the wisdom of God, why we're going to find blessing for our souls, We're going to find happiness. For God is not only concerned with blessing for our souls, but when.
And he made this world, it was all very good, and He intended that two people should share the happiness of being hit over the whole creation. And so he, he was the one who planted that garden for them. It's quite remarkable. God made all the plants and everything, but he himself planted that garden. He made that for their happiness. And as we look at a few verses, I think you'll see that God is not only interested in yourself.
He's not only interested that you should know how he would have his own together and that you would have a proper sense of spiritual values, but also that we as as believers would have a proper sense of moral values and those things that really, as we'll notice in Hebrews, prove that we have found that we can be heirs together of the grace of life.
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And so here, this verse that I've read and I've often said, perhaps some have heard me come.
This before, but I do believe that the British trouble in marriage today is selfishness. That is when a young couple get married. If you get married thinking that I expect to get something for myself out of this, you may be very disappointed because things may not always work out that way. But one thing you can do in marriage, you can try to make somebody else happy. And in making somebody else happy, you're going to make yourself happy.
So I've often said that in God's account, it's not a 5050 marriage, it's the husband 100% for the good and happiness of his wife, and the wife out 100% for the happiness of her husband.
And both together 100% to give the Lord his rightful place. It's it's no use this 5050 business because it'll never be that way. It'll always be 51 and 49 and then it'll change. You'll get 4060 and and you hear people say, well, I'm not getting what I should out of marriage, but are are we giving? That's what makes for happiness. It is more blessed to give than to receive. And if you just think of this, can I make my partner happy?
Can I do something to make her happy? And she says, can I do something to make my husband happy? And can we walk together, giving the Lord his rightful place? I'll guarantee you that you'll find a happy marriage because that's God's plan. It's not man's. Man doesn't look at it that way, but God does. And we see how we have a perfect pattern in the way God himself has acted. He has set a pattern before us. And God so loved the world.
Gave is only we got inside, he's never going to be fully satisfied until all his honors supremely happy. And King Solomon said if a man give all the substance of his house for love, it shall be utterly contemned. You say I'm not prepared to make the sacrifices that are required. Solomon says if you give everything in your house, if you get love back, why he said you'll just look on contempt with what you gave up utterly contempt. That is you look on it with.
You say, I don't care what I had to give up, What have I gained? I've gained love and that's what really makes for happiness. And so we can see then that God has a plan. And I'd like to first of all, look and show you how that this is based upon three, I think, very important things, and that is understanding and love and giving honor to your partner. I believe those three things are basic.
That we need to understand one another there needs to be.
A love for one another and there needs to be a respect and an honor to one another. It always bothers me when I hear a man speak against his wife or a wife speak against her husband because I know that they're sowing the first seeds of destroying a happy marriage. Why? You have to speak of the best you can about your partner and if you don't have anything like that to say, well, say nothing. But you can always find some good points. You found a lot of good points when you decided to.
Get married and those points are still there if you could only develop them. And God intends that we should enjoy first love. The Lord Jesus mourned because his church had lost its first love, and the Lord wants that first love. There's no reason why it should become less. It ought to become deeper as time goes by. But it'll only be so as we follow the divine pattern because these things have to be worked at. It's not something.
It's something that has to be worked at, and God has done that. So I would like to turn to a verse in a passage rather in Psalms, Psalm 139. O Lord, Thou hast searched me and known me. Thou knowest my down sitting and mine uprising. Thou understand this, my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down.
And art acquainted with all my ways. There is not a word in my tongue but glow, O Lord.
Thou knowest it all together. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
And then the 13th verse. But I was possessed my reigns. Thou has covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Thy works, and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from Thee, when I was made in secret and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
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Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect, and in my book all my members were written which in continuance were fashioned. When as yet there was none of them. Men would turn to Isaiah, I mean Jeremiah.
Chapter 31 Jeremiah chapter 31 first verse at the same time saith the Lord will I be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be my people. Thus saith the Lord the people that were left of the of the sword found grace in the wilderness and even Israel. When I went, it caused him to rest the Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, yeah, and I have loved thee with an everlasting love, therefore with.
Loving kindness have I drawn thee. I want to turn over to Ephesians chapter 4, Ephesians chapter 3, Ephesians 3, the last verse, verse 20. Now to him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
And then in Second Thessalonians, Second Thessalonians chapter 1 and verse 10, when He shall come to be glorified in His Saints, and to be admired in all them that believe, because our testimony among you was believed in that day. But perhaps you noticed in these three scriptures that I have read, first one brings before us understanding, and the second one love, and the third one giving glory and honor.
And those three things we see so perfectly.
In the Lord, in his ways with us, in the 139 Psalm, the psalmist is considering what the Lord knows about him. And he says, thou knowest my down sitting and my uprising. Thou art acquainted with all my ways. And it even says later on in that Psalm that the Lord even knew us before we were born. So our bodies being formed and those all our members, and they're all written in his book.
And then in the other two passages we see that there is glory in our hearts that he's given to the Lord. And then perhaps the most wonderful thing is that when he comes with his bride, he's going to come to be glorified in his Saints and to be admired in all them that believe. And so you see, the first one is understanding. Does the Lord understand this perfectly?
Well, I I enjoy those verses in the 139 Psalm because they bring before me how?
The Lord knows all about your physical and emotional makeup. He watched your body being formed. He knows all about you in the background of your life. He's watched you from your childhood. He's seen everything that you did. And so he fully understands. And what a wonderful thing that is that we have one who is the bridegroom of the church, and He fully understands all about us.
And I have found with people that one of the things that they crave after.
Is understanding, they say I don't know anybody I can really talk to that I feel understands my inmost feelings, understands my situation in life, my physical and emotional makeup. If I could find somebody I could talk to that would understand, well, the Lord perfectly understands. And you know, that's a very important thing in marriage, that we need to be able to have a free flow so that we understand one another, we understand one another's.
Feelings and emotions and everything and anger into them. The Lord does that most perfectly and goes right back, as I say, before we were ever born. And you know, every one of us, whether we like to acknowledge it or not, we have family backgrounds. We're all different we and that's why when two people come together, there's quite an adjustment because our backgrounds are different and we have been used to living a certain way and now to are brought together.
Well, isn't it wonderful? I'm going to speak of this in a practice.
After but first of all, we have the divine pattern and that is that the Lord understands and He invites us. I think it's in the 62nd Psalm. It says trust in the Lord at all times. Pour out your heart before him. You know what a feeling you have when you can sit down and talk to somebody and feel if they do understand and that they care, they're always up to be that between husband and wife. It's imperfection with the Lord.
And that's why we're so happy in his prayers.
And then the second one that we looked at in the 31St of Jeremiah, it was when Israel had sinned so grievously that God had to raise up Jeremiah to tell them that they were going to be carried into captivity because of their rebellion and their sin.
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And it wasn't when they were going on. Well, it wasn't at the time when you would perhaps have expected that the Lord could say He loved them because.
There's such an obedient nation doing his will, but it was at a time when they were perhaps at the farthest point away from him. And it says, yeah, he loved the people. It says, yeah, I have loved thee with an everlasting love, Therefore with loving kindness have I drawn me. And love often has to be expressed at a time.
When it's least deserved, that's what true love will do. It isn't isn't changed by what happens because true love is something that is not affected by circumstances. It's something that God has put in the heart.
And I might say too, that the love originated in the heart of God. It didn't originate in us at all. It says we love because He first loved us. And so it's always, first of all, the husband's responsibility to maintain the love and the marriage just as God does. But you know, it isn't just on the wedding day that we say when we love one another or in the first year of marriage. But this is something that needs to be constant all through our lives is this.
And that's why we often say these things have to be worked on. Has the Lord worked out with us? Did He just tell you when you got saved that He loved you? Over and over and over again in your Christian life, He's been reminding you of His love. And those things go to the me and we're reminded again that He loves us and we have failed. We haven't responded like we should, but we go to the meeting and that reassurance of His love sustains us. We get uplifted.
And then there is a response created in our hearts.
So we have understanding and then we have love.
And then, as I say, it's a marvelous thing what it says there in Ephesians chapter 3. Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. If you and I know His love, and if we know His understanding why we ought to be glorying in Him, we ought to be rejoicing and giving honor and praise to Him for all that He has done.
Not only means to us day by day, and so it says throughout all ages, world without end, and so for all eternity, we're going to be giving glory and honor to the Lord Jesus.
And then we find in the we find in that passage that I read to you in Second Thessalonians perhaps is the most amazing thing of all, that when the Lord Jesus comes out of heaven, he's going to have you and I with him because we're part of his bride. And this to me just overwhelms me. It says he'll come to be glorified in his Saints and to be admired in all them that believe. And that is as another verse says, that we may be glorified together.
He's going to say in the world, this is my bride. These are the ones I chose out of the world. And he's going to find his joy in placing us in that wondrous position of honor, of being associated with him in that highest position that he's going to occupy for all eternity. How marvelous this is. And so you can see those three things I spoke of. You can see, first of all, understanding. Then you can see love.
And next, seeking to give honor to one another.
There's a verse in second of Philippians that says Philippians chapter 2, verse three. Let nothing be done through strife or Vainglory, but in lawliness of mine. Let each esteem other better than themselves. I believe in the new translation it reads each taking the lead and showing honor to the other. That isn't a marvelous thing. That is, instead of looking for someone to honor us.
We're taking the lead in showing honor to.
To the other. And so we can certainly rightly give honor to the Lord Jesus, but he's waiting today when he's going to display us as his bride and find his own satisfaction and his eternal joy in that.
Well, now I'd like to speak of this, shall I say, in a little practical way, as it applies to ourselves. You'll turn to Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians chapter 6. Why submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the lives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands.
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Love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present it to himself. A glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish, so ought men to love their wives as their own body. He that loveth his wife loveth himself, for no man ever yet hated.
His own flesh, but nourish it and cherish it, even as the Lord the Church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be 1 flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church nevertheless, that everyone of you in particular.
So love his wife, even as himself and the wife see that she reverence.
Her husband he turned back also to 1St Corinthians Chapter 7. First Corinthians Chapter 7, verse 33, that he that is married careth for the things that are of the world. How he may please his wife. There's a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit, but she that is married careth for the things of the world.
How she may please.
Her husband, if you'll turn over to first Peter chapter 3. First Peter chapter 3, verse 7. Likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. Well, I've read these different scriptures because I believe in some measure they bring before us those three different things.
First of all, understand.
Perhaps that's brought more particularly in First Corinthians 7. That is, it says there that the married man thinks of how he can please his wife and the married wife thinks how she can please her husband. And so we see how that you understand the person and you know what pleases them. You think about the things if you're you know how before you were married by you studied your friend pretty well.
To know their taste when birthday came or some other thing. Why you were very, very particular. To get something that you thought would really please them. And you had watched their taste. You had listened to them to make some little comment about something they liked. Perhaps they said they liked a certain particular thing. And it was your pleasure when that time came to give them that gift. Because you were you were trying to please them, pleasing them because you knew what it was that they liked.
Great. Well, you know, that's our relationship with the Lord. The Lord knows what it is for our good and happiness. The blessing of the Lord, it makes us rich and He addeth no sorrow with it. And as I say, He's going to shower upon us for all eternity everything that will make us eternally happy. And He knows us through and through. And now we need to study our partner too, and seek to do things and get things for them that please them now.
Of course it doesn't mean that we don't put the Lord's claims first, because he that loveth father and mother more than me is not worthy of me. And if it's going to be a really happy marriage, we have to be also 100% for the Lord. And if I were to give my wife something that would not help her in the things of the Lord, it really wouldn't be for her good in the end. And so when we think of pleasing our partner, it doesn't mean disobedience to God.
We know that for King Solomon, when he got old, he thought more of pleasing his wives than he did of pleasing the Lord, and then he was led astray himself. So when I speak about this understanding, we need to understand our partner. We need to enter into their feelings and then to try to do things that please them. And this is, this is all making for happiness.
It's part of the unselfishness that as we speak of.
But sometimes as we get busy, perhaps, and perhaps that our work or perhaps the wife in the home and the family comes along and she's busy and so on. But then we forget about those little things when there were just the two of us, why it was easy to think about those things and enjoy them. But when the family comes along, perhaps we tend to have other interests because children have to be looked after and we can neglect our partner.
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Or never neglects us. He's working in grace in this world, saving souls. But his heart ever goes out to his people with a freshness of first love that never, never changes. And so when we're especially busy as husbands, perhaps at our work, we must be careful that we don't allow this to hinder the, uh, little displays of love to one another.
Because as I say, it's something that has to be worked on.
So I think that's a very beautiful and practical thing about each one trying to please the other. And that way I base that upon the thought of understanding because if you're going to please them, as I say, you have to know them.
In the 31St of Proverbs, when it talks about the life there, the virtuous woman, why it says she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. It says her tongue is the law of kindness. And then in the end of the chapter it says her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the people of the land. Why is he known in the gates? Because he has such a wonderful life.
She's his support. She's helping him and Isaiah and I say again.
That this is the way that God had it planned, so that the wife would be the help, and the husband occupying in God's plan the more public place.
So every every one of us needs someone to help. And I find that if a man doesn't have the support of his wife, he's going to be talking to somebody else to get support. He's going to try and find somebody that will support him. And this is what is often the cause of the breakdown in marriage.
So we have first of all understanding and then in Corinthians where we read rather in Ephesians chapter 6 where we read well, we have the position that God has put the wife in. It says, why submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord, that is the the wife is in the place of submission.
I sometimes said if men decided that they were going to.
To be the ones who occupied the place of leadership and occupied the place of head, but they'd have no more right to it than a woman. But if God decided that by then that's the only right way and that's the way of happiness. And so it makes it very easy for a girl to recognize that if she thinks of the fact that it was God who put her husband in that place.
And I've often said to boys when they're getting married, I said you have a tremendous place to.
Fulfill to take the place of leadership in your home and the whole acquisition in wisdom and love. That doesn't mean that the husband will always be right. We find in Abraham's life that on one occasion why he was right and another occasion why he was very wrong when he took.
When?
On the occasion where?
He was right was he was waiting for the promised seed. And then his wife suggested that he have a child by Hagar and he listened to her and that was the cause of sorrow. But on another occasion later on, when God had wanted that that Hagar and her son to be sent away from the home, why?
In that occasion Sarah was right. And so the Lord said to Abraham, Hearken unto the voice of Sarah thy wife, in all that she saith unto thee. Sometimes the man might think he's always right, but he isn't always right.
Both of us can be wrong on some occasions and that's why we need one another, but it's interesting to see that.
In the case where Sarah wanted to send Hagar away, which was the right thing to do? Sarah and her son.
Fly them, God said to Abraham, Hearken unto the voice of Sarah, thy wife, and all that she saith unto thee. But Sarah didn't say no. Listen, Abraham, if you won't send away that girl, I'm going to send her away. That would have been wrong. That would have spoiled the home. But she told Abraham what she thought was the right thing to do.
She was giving excellent advice to him and then God spoke to Abraham and told him to listen to his wife. And you see how God has it planned. It doesn't mean, as I say, that the husband's always right. And I think any man that has had a happy marriage will say often my wife was right and I did well to listen to her, but I was responsible and God has placed the husband in the position of responsibility.
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And the wife can submit and just wait. And in God's time, God can speak to the husband and show him, so she can commit the matter to the Lord in prayer. Because as I say, it isn't the man assuming that place, but it's God giving him that place. And he doesn't hold that place as a sort of a tyrant. He holds that place in love. He holds it by understanding.
And by giving honor to his wife and so their heirs together.
So we see here the place that God has planned.
And then it tells us that in the 25th verse, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. The husband ought to be willing to make any sacrifice necessary for the happiness and good of his wife. The Lord Jesus did that, and just think of what He did, He gave himself.
He went to Calvary's cross and died for our judgment in order that we.
As part of his bride might be brought into a place of blessing. His love knew no bounds. His love wouldn't be stopped as it says in ecclesia in the end of the Psalm of Solomon. Rather many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods go. And so the Lord Jesus loved for his bride would not be quenched. He was willing to go to Calvary. And I say to you boys here, it's it's a good thing to be willing to make sacrifices and.
Do anything but it is necessary for the good and happiness of your partner. You'll have a happy marriage if you're willing to do that, to be 100% out for the happiness of your wife.
And then it says that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
The Lord Jesus is looking forward to that glorious wedding day and it talks about it in Revelation chapter 19 and says Sarah was granted that she should be arrayed in Finland and clean and white for the fine linen is the righteousness of Saints. It's mentioned again in the 45th Psalm. In the 45th Psalm it says.
That her clothing is a bright gold, She shall be brought under the king.
In raiment of needlework. And so it's showing us here that the husband finds pleasure in seeing his wife dressed in a way that, shall I say, displays her beauty. And I think this is a very necessary thing. You know, a boy might be working at an office and he sees girls well dressed all day. Then he comes home and his wife doesn't care.
Why? It's going to do something to the marriage, I think.
It's nice for girls not just to dress up when they're going out, but why not dress up your husband? Surely if you really love him, he's the person you love most. Why not dress up just for one another? I think that these are things that we can do. I see here that the Lord presents the church to himself without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. It pleases any man who loves his wife to take her out, perhaps for the evening, and feel that she's well dressed while he's his compliment.
How she is he that loveth his wife, loveth himself. And so he's very pleased to see that she appears before others in that way. There's a breakdown in all this today. And girls don't seem to care anything about the way they dress. And so we see a breakdown of what follows. Respect for one another and no respect. And so here we see that he presents it to himself. A glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing.
And then another mark of consideration.
The 28th verse. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
And I think as a man, I want to always think of that. If I asked my wife to do anything, would would I be willing to do it myself? Am I asking her to do something that if I was in her place, I wouldn't want to do it? I would draw back from it. Well, if we recognize that your wife is part of yourself, it says no man ever yet hated his own flesh, then as husbands, we shouldn't ask our wives to do anything that we wouldn't be willing to do ourselves.
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Well, I've put a lot of check on things that we expect that one another. Maybe she's tired. Well are you asking her to do more than you'd be willing to do if you were feeling tired. Well, this is this is all very practical and so beautifully seen in the Lord Jesus. What is he doing up for us in heaven now he's providing 24 hour service as our advocate and as our high priest many hour of the day or night we can come and say.
I need help. And He's there interceding for us. If you fail, He's there as your advocate. And so we see how the Lord is the perfect. He fulfills it all perfectly. And this is the pattern for us in marriage.
And then the Third Point here I just mentioned and that is in the 33rd verse, the end of the verse and the wife see that she reverence her husband. I did say a little bit about this before, but I think this is a very important thing. It always bothers me very much when I hear a husband speak I'll of his wife because.
On either side or a wife speak I'll of her husband develop the habit of looking up to your partner.
With respect.
It says here the wife see that she reverence her husband. But now my part as a husband, I, I should act in such a way that I win my wife's respect. The Lord Jesus has acted in such a way that he has won our respect. We think about who he is. We think of what he's done for us. We think of what he is doing for us. And so he lends our hearts and it's not hard for us to give honor to him because of what he is.
Sometimes.
Husband can want his wife to give honor to him, but he doesn't do anything to win that. He doesn't win her respect, but the Lord did everything to win ours. He he couldn't have done more and his love wouldn't do less than what he had done. But cultivate this habit of respecting the partner that God has given to you. Here particularly it's the husband that is being reverenced, but in the one in first Peter. Now if you look at that first Peter chapter.
Three and verse 7.
Likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.
Here we see the other side of it that tells us in Ephesians chapter 5 that the wife is to reverence the husband. But here is the husband giving honor to the wife as under the weaker vessel. And here we find this understanding too. Dwell with them according to knowledge.
We have to understand our lives as to just what they can bear, what's what they're able to stand, and so it says, dwell with them according to knowledge. The Bible is so wonderful in this way that it covers every point.
And then it says as under the weaker vessel, and being heirs together of the grace of life.
God wants us to have happy homes and happy homes reflect in the assembly.
The man who was an overseer in the assembly, there was a great deal said about his wife and his family because he couldn't really properly fulfill that place. We didn't first learn how he should act in his own home. And so these things are so important for us. And so I say again, let's remember those three things. First of all, understanding that is.
It tells us there in Corinthians.
The husband pleasing the wife, and the wife pleasing the husband. Here it tells us that.
Where as a husband I'm to dwell with my wife according to knowledge, and as being heiress together of the grace of life. And then this little expression that your prayer is being unhindered. If I let something come between me and my wife, when I get down to pray, I won't have liberty in the Lord's presence, because when I go to talk to the Lord, the Lord will be saying to me, well, you better say this right?
With your wife, because I formed that relationship. And so how often it's true that our very access to the throne of God about things that we need is hindered because we haven't conducted ourselves the way we should in our homes. We come to the meeting and there's no praise in our hearts because we haven't been acting as we should in our homes. And so I believe this is a very important point here.
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Your prayers be not hindered. And yet it's talking together of the grace of life is not talking about whether we read the Bible together. That's very, very important, but it's talking about those personal little actions that we have to one another. Have we dwelt with them according to knowledge? Have we had an understanding heart? Have we assured them of our love? And perhaps you say, well, they didn't seem to appreciate it, but we don't always appreciate the Lord's love, but he keeps telling us that he loves us.
And then the third thing, the third thing, have you respected your partner? Have you been pleased to introduce your partner as the one who shares things with you? And so I say to as husbands, let's act in a way so that our wives can, as it says, give reverence to us. And to you girls, I would say to act in such a way.
That your husband can honor you too. And so it's just a wonderful privilege that we have in this relationship because I believe the devil is at work to destroy two things that God planned to be like the days of heaven upon earth, the home and the assembly. He always starts in the home because if he can break down the home, then it won't be long till he breaks down the assembly. And so he's at work to do those.
To do this.
In the Old Testament, when God gave instructions to His people about how they should act in their homes, He said that your days may be as the days of heaven upon earth. And then in the assembly, here we are in the presence of the Lord, no more wonderful the place on earth than to be gathered to the name of the Lord Jesus with Himself in the midst. For Satan doesn't like to see the Lord having his rightful place. He's going to try and destroy the home he's going to try and destroy.
Assembly, but it starts in the home and so most here tonight are just young couples just starting out. And so I want to encourage you in those three things. Try and promote between each other understanding, talk things over, share things together and when there begins to be a strange try and understand and I say to you husbands, you're the one that God holds most responsible to maintain the love in the marriage.
It isn't our love to the Lord that comes first, it's His love to us. And our love is a responsive love. And the wife's love in the scripture is always looked upon as a responsive love, responding to what her husband shows to her. She responds to that well. If we follow this divine plan, we will find happiness.
Your your work will be easier your your position to fulfill in the meeting.
Be easier and you'll find that God's plan really works and he will enable you to go on through life in that happiness. But it breaks down when we begin to thank as brother Brown chapter Brown used to say, we think we're wiser than God. We think that we can just follow a little bit of the wisdom of man. But when you want to know how you should act.
In the marriage relationship and in your home, get it from God's Word.
Learn from His Word, and He has a plan for your good and for your happiness, because He wants us to experience in some little measure the days of heaven upon earth.