August 9th, 1866.
You have not got to the end of yourself yet. As to goodness? Yes. As to mendableness? No. As to power? Paul said, " 0 wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me; " i.e. he found he could not deliver himself, and why? He was in a swamp-a true bog, a " body of sin and death." It was a very uncomfortable sort of place to be in (a barrel with spikes of I, driven through it), and he felt they lacerated and tore him. But all his forty mes could not get him out. It was death rolled in upon him -death inside himself, moral death in heart and mind too.
But there was One outside it all-God, and in His presence Jesus Christ. And the doctrine of baptism supposed that there had been substitution-one put into the place of another-and that he (Paul) knew it, and could be satisfied to say-not as to any getting out of the evil in himself, but as to God's grace in the substituting Christ for the sinner-" I thank God, through Jesus Christ our Lord." I think you are finding out that death works in you, and nothing but death; but you have not yet come to be willing to say, What a comfort that doctrine of substitution! I morally dead, He penally dead. I turned my back on God, and God turned His back on Christ on account of my sin. Nothing but that can give rest; nothing but that give peace; nothing but that is grace; and after that comes " my grace is sufficient, my strength made perfect in weakness."
It seems to me that anyone, even as poor a thing as myself, might find blessing to souls up and down the country if one could but walk with the Lord-keeping away from all party feelings, avoiding all assumption and haste of temper too-and letting redemption, a walk with God consequent thereon, and hope of the coming, to be the three staples of one's ministry.
Here there are about thirty in communion. To me it seems that foundation truth wants pressing here, not that those at the table do not hold it, but that the gathering and the principles of gathering may have held too large a place. Atonement finished; holiness of walk with the Lord and entire separation from the world, and the hope of the coming, form souls individually for the Lord and His presence; and they, these doctrines, are for the remnant what is wanting. Indeed, the mass as such cannot be reached save through the individual members who form the mass.
But, on the other hand, I see the positive good the Lord has done. Never did the poor weak ones see so clearly as now that they are " a people " on the earth, though a people disowned by the men of the world; and never, I think, did the Lord show this compassion and long-suffering more graciously than lately to them. I said, " The king's word is, Answer them not a word; " and I think I was right. Conscience there was none. What is man, what are you, what am I, when Satan is allowed to pass us through the furnace? Alas! Job's furnace was blessing, so was Peter's; Lot's and Solomon's were different-very sad.
Ever yours in Christ, G. V. W.