April 15th, 1867.
My Dear——-,- Here I am, stuck fast still with duty this and duty that. I suppose the Lord has to humble me for want of Nazariteship practically in my early Christian course. I did not then cleave solely to His will, go here, go there; but the needs of His work and the needs of His people had too much hold of my mind. I will not say that in meeting them I had not pleasure, that even the desire to escape from useless idleness had not a power over me; but in fact there grew up a web which cripples me now in many ways and thoughts, a web of responsibility in services.
Well, He knows my desire, and the best part of my mind is to say to Him, " I have deserved nothing as a disciple, as a servant. If Thou turnedst Thy back on me, Thou wouldst be righteous; but I want to see what honor Thy free love will choose to put upon me undeservedly."
I confess a voyage to the West Indian islands would be a free grace honor, and somehow I hope for it too; for though I do not deserve it, and would not rob you and your wife of the honor He has put upon you, I would like the privilege if He gave it heartily.
All here is pretty quiet. Poor Mr. D- has published a second book, an appeal. It has done much good, opened the eyes of many. One said, " Well, I must be as you say." G. V. W.