The question is sometimes asked of us as to how far it is right for a Christian to be united in marriage with an unbeliever. By a Christian I mean a truly saved person; and by an unbeliever, one who has not faith in our Lord Jesus Christ to the saving of the soul.
Before saying what we have to say on this subject, we would remind the reader that the children of God are called and set apart unto the obedience of Jesus Christ (1 Pet. 1:2). We understand the Apostle's words in this way, that just as the blessed Lord when on earth loved to do the will of God, and found in the doing of it His meat and drink, so should it be with the believer now. He does the will of God not by constraint as if he were under law, but delights to do it. God's will governs him. This being so, what determines a thing to be right or wrong is the will of God. The question, therefore, with which we began may be stated thus: Is it according to the will of God that a believer should be joined in marriage with one who is not?
You may find yourself from time to time, dear believer in Jesus, in circumstances that make you deeply feel your need of divine guidance. We know Him who has said, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." Jas. 1:5. But in reference to the matter we are now discussing, there is no need to wait on God for direction. His will is already known, and all that is needed on our part is an obedient heart. And it is a happy thing that on such a subject, where the affections if engaged are apt to warp the judgment, God has spoken in no uncertain voice. The hallowed pages of the Old Testament, and those of the New alike, deal with it; and the testimony of the one is confirmed and strengthened by the other.
Have you ever noticed in your reading that the Israelites of old were expressly forbidden to sow their fields with divers seeds? Why did God bid Moses tell them that? Could not such a matter be left to the discretion of the farmer who, knowing the nature of the soil, would be able to decide whether it would be to his advantage to sow with mingled seed or not? Why was it not permitted him to plow his land with an ox and an ass together? Could he not be trusted to see that no harm should come of it, and that the weaker vessel should not be overburdened and cruelly used? And for what reason were the people not to clothe themselves with garments made of woolen and linen? Were they not competent judges of what would be most comfortable and conducive to health? (Deut. 22:9-11.) All such reasonings were silenced by Jehovah's thrice-repeated, "Thou shalt not." Can you doubt that under these seemingly singular prohibitions lay a great abiding principle, too likely to be forgotten, and do you need to be told what that principle is?
Turning for a moment to 2 Cor. 6:14-18, we find the Spirit of God, by the pen of Paul, speaking to us on this wise: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their. God, and they shall be My people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be My sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." Place this passage by the side of that in Deut. 22:9-11, and each will throw light upon the other. What an illustration of that fine saying of Augustine, that the New Testament is enfolded in the Old, and the Old Testament unfolded in the New.
And this is clear and beyond dispute, that Moses, the man of God, solemnly warned the tribes of Israel against making marriages with the people of the land whither they were going. "Thy daughter shalt thou not give unto his son,
nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son," were his emphatic words. Full well did he foresee the result of such unholy unions. "They will turn away thy son from following Me, that they may serve other gods." Vain for them to say that it would not be so. The enemy of God and of their souls might suggest that naught but good could come of such alliances; for thereby the idolatrous partner would be weaned from his idols to serve the living God. Delusive dream!—the child of disobedience and unbelief. Instead of good, nothing but evil should come of it; for Jehovah would be forgotten, and other gods served, until His anger would be kindled against them, and they should be suddenly destroyed (Deut. 7:1-4). Do any require an example of this? They may find one in high places, even in Solomon, of whose sin in this respect Nehemiah vehemently reminded the Jews, who had themselves trespassed against God in this very thing (Neh. 13:23-30).
If this was so with an earthly people, will any be bold enough to say that what was forbidden to them is allowed to the children of God now, heavenly as they are in birth, character, and hopes? Shall the Jew be denied such marriages and the Christian be suffered to contract them? Shall we sow our fields with mingled seed? Shall we yoke the ox and the ass together? or wear a garment of linen and woolen? And if any persist in doing this, can that soul hope to escape a just recompense of reward? "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting." Gal. 6:7, 8.
Two things God has bound together; namely, obedience to His will, and our true and lasting happiness. Surely we know God well enough to believe that He would not forbid us aught that was for our real good. It was here that Eve fell, and lent her ear to the serpent's lie. Every admonition, every warning addressed to us in God's Word, proceeds from the same infinite love that has thought of our eternal need and so richly provided for it. Shall we not bow
to His will, and seek from Him the needed strength to place our own beneath the foot? Many a plausible reason may be urged to tempt you to such a step. You think perhaps you could be very useful in that home whose door is thrown open to you, though the one who invites you is no lover and follower of your Lord. Other circumstances join to press you forward. Your present surroundings are not the most agreeable, and this would free you from them. Your friends are fewer than they were, and the years are passing by. Yes, and a thousand other pleas equally affecting might be found, but where is God in all this? Are you not His child? Does He not love and care for you? Shall He, without whom not a sparrow falls to the ground—shall He, I say, not carry you in His bosom, even to gray hairs and old age? Trust Him then in your weakness. He will be a Father unto you. Let His will be your pleasure and, whatever may be the consequences, leave them to Him. Obedient and subject, His blessing shall be yours, and you shall prove the truth of that sustaining promise, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Heb. 13:5.
We conclude in borrowed words, more weighty than our own. "It is absolutely impossible that a Christian should allow himself to marry a worldly person, without violating his obligations toward God and toward Christ. If a child of God allies himself to an unbeliever, it is evident he leaves Christ out of the question, and that he does so voluntarily in the most important event of his life. It is just at such a moment when he ought to have the most intimate communion of thought, affection, and interest with Christ, that He is totally excluded! The believer is yoked with an unbeliever. He has chosen to live without Christ; he has deliberately preferred to do his own will and to exclude Christ rather than give up his will in order to enjoy Christ and His approbation. He has given his heart to another, abandoning Christ, and refusing to listen to Him. What a fearful decision! To settle to spend one's life thus, choosing for a companion an enemy of the Lord's! The influence of such a union is necessarily to draw the Christian into the world.
He has already chosen to accept that which is of the world as the most beloved object of his heart; and only things of the world please those who are of the world, although their fruit is death (Rom. 6:21, 23). What a dreadful position! Either to fail in faithfulness to Christ, or to have constantly to resist just where the tenderest affection ought to have established perfect unity. The fact is, that unless the sovereign grace of God comes in, the Christian man or woman always yields and enters little by little upon a worldly walk. Nothing is more natural. The worldly man has only his worldly desires. The Christian, besides his Christianity, has the flesh; and, further, he has already abandoned his Christian principles in order to please his flesh by uniting himself to one who does not know the Lord. The result of such an alliance is that he has not a thought in common on the subject which ought to be the most precious to his heart with the person dearest to him in the world. They will have nothing but quarrels; as it is written, "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" Amos 3:3. If not, they must first yield to worldliness, and then take pleasure in it; but this sad result is lost sight of when they first place themselves in the position which renders it inevitable.... May God grant to the reader of these lines, and to all His children, to seek His presence day by day."