I HAD been anxious about my soul for some months. The meeting-room was adjoining our house, and I used to attend the meetings regularly. Evangelists, servants of the Lord, came and preached the Gospel of the grace of God. I used to listen, but the simplicity of it puzzled me. If I could have done something, or had it been not so simple, it would have suited me better. Ah! I, like many others, did not like to leave self out altogether. I well remember upon several occasions trying to get out of the room without being spoken to about my soul.
One night a brother in the Lord, named Mr. R—, a dear servant of God, had been preaching.
It was the last night of the year in 1882, and it was Sunday. In the course of the meeting the preacher had been pleading earnestly with the people to accept the Savior ere it was too late, and he said: “Do begin the new year with Christ; don't let this year go without accepting Him as your Savior." Well, I thought I would wait until I got to my room, and was alone. The Spirit was striving with me, and I was very anxious. I knew I was lost. I was not very old-between fourteen and fifteen—but I knew that if I died without accepting Christ as my Savior, that if I died a rejecter of Him, God would judge me for it, and that hell would surely be my doom.
The meeting ended. I felt miserable; I went to my room as soon as possible. My parents were both Christians, and they would have tried to have helped me if I had told them, but I could not speak of it to anyone. When I reached my room I dropped on my knees and asked the Lord to save me. I told Him I was a sinner, perfectly helpless, but that He had sent His Son to die for me, and thereby had provided a way of escape. I simply cast myself on Him in all my guilt, and He did not cast me out. No, the Lord does not cast any out who come to Him, owning themselves tog and guilty. His mercy and love is too great to do that.
I undressed and got into bed. In a few moments such a ray of light seemed to pervade my soul, and I seemed to hear a voice say, “Thy sins are forgiven thee, go in peace." I knew that I had passed from death unto life. I knew that there was joy in the presence of the angels of God. I got out of bed and fell on my knees again, but, oh, how different to the first time! This was not to seek for forgiveness; it was to thank the Lord for saving me. I could now call Him my Savior, my Lord.
I got into bed again, and slept peacefully till morning, and then the first thing that came to my mind was the words, "Thy sins are forgiven thee.”
But I made one great mistake. Although my heart was full of praise and thanksgiving to my Savior, I did not confess Him. No, I was ashamed—ashamed of being laughed at and ridiculed. After a few days Satan began to attack me. Although I had received such a full assurance, yet I began to doubt. I was troubled with a hasty temper. I was not passionate, but hasty. A little thing would soon provoke me, and, before I was aware of it, I would give way to temper. Oh how this troubled me. If I was really saved, and a new creature in Christ Jesus, why did not my temper leave me? Ah! I had not learned that the old nature was still there, and that I needed to be constantly watchful. Satan made use of this, and filled me with doubts and fears. But it was only for a few days. I took it all to the Lord, and He removed the doubts. He showed me in His Word, “My grace is sufficient for thee." He bade me be watchful.
About a fortnight after the brother that was preaching the night that I found peace came again.
Another brother was with him, named Mr. T—, and he was going to preach that evening. It was about an hour before meeting-time, and these two dear children of God were in the drawing-room.
My three youngest sisters were in the room, and I went in for them. Mr. T—began to speak to me about the Lord, and asked me if I was saved. I said, "Yes, I am." He asked me how I knew it.
I replied, "I am trusting in the blood of Jesus, and I knew He had washed me from all my sins." Mr. R—was surprised, for the last time I had seen him he knew I was not; but his face seemed full of joy when he heard it. He is a dear man, and I have cause to love him. The Lord has blessed him much to the salvation of souls. I had been happy before in the knowledge of my forgiveness, but I was much happier when I had confessed my Savior. Oh how dreadful it is to be ashamed of owning the One who has done so much for us.
The Lord has enabled me to go quietly on since, learning more of Him, and proving His boundless love to me. But, oh how very little I do know of Him. May He show me more of His hidden beauties clay by day, and may I be kept waiting for Him. The time will soon come, and we (all those who believe) shall be caught up to be with Him forever. What a prospect for His people.
It is indeed something to glory in, and cheer our hearts in this scene.
Unconverted reader, the time is short. Are you ready? The day of grace will soon be over.
Won't you accept Christ before it is too late?
"Oh!" you say, “there is plenty of time; I shall enjoy myself; I intend to see something of the world first." Take care; God will not be trifled with. Listen to His advice:—" Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment" (Eccl. 11:99Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. (Ecclesiastes 11:9)). He is now beseeching thee to come, and are you deaf to His entreaty?
Listen again: “Because I have called and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded,... I also will laugh at your calamity I will mock when your fear cometh”
I have written this simple story, praying that the Lord may use it in blessing some poor lost one.
We can do nothing. The Lord can do all, and will, too, dear reader, if you only ask Him.
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation.”
“Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God:
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
Oh! to grace how great a debtor,
Daily I'm constrained to be
Let that grace, Lord, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.”