Personal forgiveness refers to offenses against us by believers (or others), which we forgive. Administrative forgiveness has to do with that which is done before God when we cancel the debt owed by another. The assembly also does that when judging the matter of an offending believer—seeing repentance and then effecting restoration (Matt. 18:18).
If the offender asks our forgiveness, it is a happy thing. But if not, it is of no profit to dwell on the matter. (“Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, saith the Lord”; Rom. 12:17-21.) One can minimize contact with an unrepentant offender if it is defiling or unprofitable. Regarding “forgiveness” (which may be difficult), we need to look in our heart and know the power and ugliness of sin. We can then leave all evil done against us with the Lord.
The Lord’s Instructions
The Lord Jesus tells the Jews that they were to forgive their enemies and not hold to “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth” attitude of revenge (Matt. 5:43-44). He instructed them rather to be willing to forgive (understand and overlook) their enemies’ behavior—not kill them. So, too, a disciple of Christ is to emulate the Lord Jesus in not retaliating. We ought never to pursue vengeance.
The dictionary says forgiveness is, literally, “extreme or uttermost giving, ceasing to feel resentment, and granting pardon or canceling debt.” This can be done by saying, “I am not the avenger in this matter. ” A child of God can certainly leave all such affairs with his or her Father (see Rom. 12:17-21) and, instead, minister good for a witness.
God’s Forgiveness
God forgives individual sinners who repent. Our Lord on the cross showed the spirit of forgiveness in beautiful perfection when He said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Now each individual sinner may seek God’s full and free forgiveness for his sins.
Christian Humility
The Christian should realize that the evil towards them was generated from the sinful nature of man—by the flesh of another. It is also good to realize that “but for the grace of God, there go I.” A Christian is one who has a new nature—the very life of Christ—though the flesh is ever ready to act.
God forgives and restores a believer who sins when he humbles himself and confesses (1 John 1:9). We, by the power of the life of Christ in us, have the ability to act in that spirit of forgiveness towards one who has offended us. And certainly we ought always to pray for the offender (Luke 6:28).
Limits of Personal Forgiveness
It is important, however, to understand that a believer cannot forgive one for offenses done to another. That forgiveness can only be carried out by the offended party. Our responsibility to forgive concerns offenses done to ourselves.
Some Aspects of Personal Forgiveness
“Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). There are some helpful aspects to remember about personal forgiveness.
1. We ought to show forgiveness in restoring a relationship with one who repents and begs recovery (Luke 17:34).
2. We can show forgiveness in simply overlooking a matter (if it is inconsequential—the result of the flesh, which we all have, acting; see Col. 3:13). It then remains only a matter between the offender and God.
3. We can show forgiveness in absolving an offender by canceling the debt which the offender may not be able to pay (Matt. 18:26-27). Showing grace in this manner is often a practical matter, but God will make up the difference or loss.
R. L. DeWitt