In reprinting this pamphlet on the much-needed subject of how a child should be trained, one feels it is important to remember, first of all, that nothing can be done aright unless the parent or parents are true children of God. If an unsaved parent has picked up this booklet, our desire is that you may accept the Lord Jesus as your Saviour.
You may have a well-ordered house according to human standards, but remember God says, “Without faith it is impossible to please Him” (Heb. 11:66But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)). As you think of those dear children God has committed to your care, with their precious, immortal souls, it behooves you to make sure that you yourself are right with God. It was for lost, helpless sinners like you that the Lord Jesus died.
He alone can wash away your sins, and this He will do if you come to Him now, pleading only your guilt and the value of His precious blood to cleanse you from every stain before a holy God (1 John 1:77The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe. (John 1:7)). Then, having become one of God’s children, you will be able — and indeed you will desire — to bring up your children for the Lord and His glory.
Until truly saved, parents cannot set a proper motive before their children. The thought of the natural man can never rise higher than himself, and even in training their children, unconverted parents will set self before them. They will teach their children to tell the truth because they do not like lies. They will teach them to have good manners in order to make their children likeable and popular. They will tell them that their friends will not like them if they do certain things, and therefore they ought not to do them. Indeed in all their training it will be a self-centered motive; it cannot be otherwise.
Now even a Christian, if unwatchful, is likely to copy these worldly ideas. Such motives appeal to our natural hearts, as well as to our children’s, but they are not of God. Bringing up our children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:44And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)) is the very opposite of this. We should teach them to tell the truth because they are responsible to the Lord, and He hates lying. We should teach them to be courteous because the Lord says, “Be courteous” (1 Peter 3:8), and they ought to seek to please Him. We should teach them to seek always to do what is right, not to be well thought of (for they may be despised for it sometimes), but just to please the Lord. This is the very opposite of man’s viewpoint, but it is the only right way, if we would seek to train our children according to God.
One feels he should remark here that our confidence in training our children, as in everything about which we can have confidence, must be in the Lord, not in ourselves or our methods. “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves . . . but our sufficiency is of God” (2 Cor. 3:5). No parent could ever say that he had trained up his children in every way as he should. God makes us conscious of our weakness and failure so that we may turn to Him and own that we owe all to His grace. May the Lord give grace to each and all of the dear parents who read this booklet that they may seek from Him the needed grace, wisdom and strength, which He alone can supply day by day, to bring up a family for Him in these last days.
H. E. Hayhoe