And now, next to this, I shall commend a good Wife unto thee: In the choice of whom, a singular care ought to be employed. But alas! Such a woman as I would have is scarce, and hard to be found. One that is not onely industrious, but pious, and can command herself, as well as govern her family: being inricht with all those vertuous qualities, which make her far more valuable, than all the pearls or precious stones, that women love to be adorned withall.
I can onely give the character of her (which may serve to direct others as well as thee, in their search after such a person) in whose chastity, as well as prudence, frugality, and fidelity in ordering all affairs at home, her Husband hath such a confidence, that he may go abroad, and attend the publick affairs; without the least care or solicitude what will become of his domestick concerns.
She will not onely indeavour to answer his love, with an equal affection, but to provoke and excite it, by pleasing him in everything; and avoiding whatsoever is ungratefull to him: nay, by deserving well of him, and studying to promote the interest of him and of his family, and to maintain his honor and reputation; and that not onely by fits and in a good humor, but all the days of her life.
Idleness is so hatefull to her, that she need not be desired to employ her self in some piece of good houswifery: but of her own accord sets up a Linen and Woolen Manufacture; to which she applies her own hands so willingly, as well as dextrously, that it appears she delights in the work.
And therewith she maintains her family without expence, by carrying on as gainfull a traffic for foreign commodities (which she gets in exchange for these) as if her husband set out a Fleet of Merchant Ships; to fetch them from far distant Countries.
Nor doth she indulge her self in over much sleep, but is an early riser before the break of day; to make provision for those that are to go abroad to work in the fields; and to set her maidens their several tasks at home.
So far she is from wasting her husbands estate, that by her prudent management she continually increases it: first purchasing a field for corn, when she meets with one, that she judges worth her money; and then, out of the mere product of her own labors, adding a vineyard to it, which she causes to be well planted.
And as her diligence is unwearied, so she is neither slow in her dispatches, nor refuses any pains: but nimbly bestirs her self, and goes roundly (as we say) about her business: nay, exercises her arms to the strongest labors, both within doors and without. And she doth not think it beneath her quality to put her own hands to the spindle: but twists the thred or the yarn with her own fingers; and winds them with her own hands. Which she stretches out with no less forwardness to relieve the poor: being not onely for getting all she can, but for giving liberally, out of her gains, to needy people; whom she supplies cheerfully as well as bountifully; and extends her charity not onely to those who are near, but to those who are afar.
Yet such is her prudence withall, that her own Family and domestick Servants are in no danger to suffer hereby, in the hardest winter: for she provides them with change of raiment, and with double garments when the weather is cold.
And so are her husbands robes; which make him noted, when he comes into the Courts of Judicature, and sits among the Senatours of the Country: who call him a happy man in such a wife. Her wisedom, diligence and prudent management, gives him leasure to attend to such matters.
Her principal ornaments are, the firmness, constancy and vigor of her mind; her modest, comely and decent behavior; her generous and honorable way of dealing with every one: which (accompanied with the forenamed diligence, etc.) make her so happy, that they free her from all fear of what may be hereafter; and prepare her to meet old age, and death it self, with joyfull satisfaction.
Unto which add, this singular grace; that as she is neither silent nor talkative, so she loves not to talk of frivolous, but of serious things; of which, when occasion serves, she discourses pertinently and judiciously, not expressing her passion but her wisedom: which shows it self, not onely in the constant softness and sweetness of her unprovoking language; but in the instructions and exhortations she gives unto doing good.
But especially in her own family, where she narrowly observes the motions and manners of every one; whom she neither suffers to gad abroad at their pleasure, nor to labor at home without good instructions: but teaches them how to live as they ought; and by this, if she did nothing else, deserves the bread she eates.
Happy are the Sons of such a mother, whose care, both of their good Education, and to make provision for them, excites them, when they are grown up, to extoll her vertues: happy is the husband of such a wife, whom he can never sufficiently commend.
Daughters may doe much by their houswifry, but nothing like to the care of a vertuous wife; and of all the wives that have done worthily, and mightily advanced the state of their family, there were never any comparable unto thee.
A hansome shape and gracefull behavior is very taking; and so is a good complexion and lovely features: but, alas! as the greatest beauty soon fades and vanishes, so many ill qualities may lie concealed under goodly looks (which will utterly spoil all the happiness that a man promised himself, in such a choice) and therefore a truly religious woman, who dare not any way offend the Lord, is that amiable person, and she alone, who will please a man always, and deserve perpetual praises.
Let every one extoll her vertue, for I cannot do it enough; let her not want the just commendations of her pious labors: but while some are magnified for the nobleness of the stock from whence they spring, others for their fortune, others for their beauty; let the good deeds which she her self hath done be publickly praised; where if all men should be silent, her own works will declare her excellent worth.
S. Patrick (1683)