Selfishness

“Charity  ...  is kind;  ...  doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil  ...  beareth all things  ...  endureth all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5,7
I believe the greatest trouble in marriage today is selfishness. If I am only thinking of what I can get for myself in my marriage, I may be disappointed, because things may not always work out as I had hoped they would. But I can try to make my partner happy, and in making my partner happy we are going to have happiness together. Think of how in the courtship days we found so much pleasure in doing things to please one another. This brings happiness to marriage, too! Marriage is not a 50/50 arrangement. Instead the husband should be 100% for the good and happiness of his wife, the wife should be 100% for the good and happiness of her husband, and then both together should 100% give the Lord His rightful place. It will never work out on a 50/50 basis, for it will always turn out 51/49, then 60/40; and you will hear the expression, “I am not getting what I should out of our marriage.” Am I giving? That is what brings happiness. The Lord Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:3535I have showed you all things, how that so laboring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive. (Acts 20:35)). God’s way is to just think of this, “Can I do something to make my partner happy? Can we walk together giving the Lord His rightful place?” This is God’s plan — and it works!
Adapted from G.H. Hayhoe, “Understanding, Love, & Respect in Marriage.”