We would all agree that we live in days of pressure and hurry, with many demands being made on our time. Most of us find that we scarcely have enough time in a day, or a week, to accomplish all that is expected of us, or that we expect of ourselves. The pace of life in our modern world has definitely become rather frenetic, and we have to decide how we are to use our time.
In this connection I am reminded of a true story of two brothers (this happened some years ago) who grew up in Ireland. Eventually one of them emigrated to America. When he came back to Ireland some years later for a family visit, his brother stopped what he was doing, and invited his brother from America to sit down and visit. He commented, “When the Lord made time, He made lots of it”! The brother who lived in America remarked in reply, “I think He made only half as much in America”! (No doubt by now the pace of life has picked up in Ireland too!).
Because of the pace of life in many countries in this world, there are recommendations in various books and on internet sites, advising people to set boundaries in their lives. This is because other people supposedly will take advantage of you, especially in the workplace, and ask you to undertake tasks that perhaps are really their responsibility. The same thing apparently happens in social settings as well, and even within families. The feeling often generated by this situation is that some who are considered lazy are quick to find that “other someone” who is capable, hard-working, and above all, willing to take on extra responsibilities without complaining.
At first glance, setting boundaries might seem a reasonable thing to do. After all, we do have to manage our time, and when too many responsibilities are piled onto us, we can become frustrated, and our health may suffer. We may even experience what is called “burnout,” which affects us both emotionally and physically. Also, when we have too much to do, often we do not do any of those jobs well, as we struggle to complete everything that has been placed upon us.
There is a drawback to setting boundaries, however, and I would suggest also that there is a better way. Setting boundaries is easy, but a boundary is rigid. Usually it results in our saying, “I will not do this type of thing anymore,” or “I will not accept work that is sloughed off on me by this or that person again.” Then, whenever someone asks us to do that particular task, we simply apply our boundary, and excuse ourselves from doing it. We feel that if we give in on one occasion, we will set a precedent, and open the way to be asked to do it again.
A Better Way
The better way is the way of Christianity, and the way of this dispensation. A boundary is like the law of Moses; it is rigid, and to be effective must be used every time something comes up that threatens to step over that boundary. It does not allow for any exceptions.
But in the New Testament we are not under law, but under grace. Also, as believers in the Lord Jesus, we are indwelt with the Spirit of God. The Spirit of God is able to lead and guide us in every situation, according to the mind of God. In the New Testament, we make decisions, not rules. Another has aptly remarked, “Don’t ask whether you are able to do it or not; just ask the Lord if it is His mind.” If we are walking with the Lord, the Spirit of God will be free to make the Lord’s mind clear to us. Then we can take on a responsibility at one time, but may refuse the same responsibility another time. This is a much better way of handling the potential for overwork than setting boundaries. Let Christ manage our lives for us, and reveal to us His mind by the Holy Spirit.
Of course, doing things this way may expose us to criticism, for others may accuse us of showing favoritism, and perhaps of choosing whom we wish to help, and whom we will not help. We do need to guard against this, and not allow personal feelings or our own wishes to get in the way of our doing the will of the Lord.
In summary, then, let us remember that this dispensation of grace is the only time in God’s ways with man in this world, that the Holy Spirit is here in the world as an abiding presence. The Holy Spirit dwells in every true believer individually, and among believers collectively as the house of God. It is a most blessed time in the world’s history to be living. The Holy Spirit in each one of us enables us (if in communion with the Lord) to seek His mind about everything in our lives, and to respond to His leading. This not only takes away the need for boundaries, but encourages us to walk in fellowship and dependence on the Lord, who will guide us in every situation.
W. J. Prost