AT the close of the usual prayer-meeting at―, Dublin (9th February 1885), I was told there was a person in the hall desiring to see me; and on going out I met a young girl who inquired if I was Miss B—, and if I had formerly been in—. Upon being answered in the affirmative, she said, “My sister is dying, and is most anxious to see you—will you promise to come tonight?” Having taken her name and address, I said I would go at once (she had to get medicine, &c., and could not accompany me); so, going to the railway, I took my seat in the 9:30 train for Lansdowne Road station.
I cannot describe my feelings as the train moved on; the circumstances were all so new to me―the lateness of the hour, going alone to a strange house, where I was certain to be an unwelcome visitor, save to the girl herself, along with the awful responsibility of having to speak to a soul who was just passing into eternity, ―all these things had a most solemnizing effect upon me.
The girl I was going to see was one whom I had only met on three or four occasions, and then, in a passing way, for a few moments at a time. She was a Roman Catholic, and one who appeared to be wholly given to pleasure. On one occasion she came into my then place of business to have a feather cleaned, which she wished to have on a particular day, and on my saying it would be ready for her then, she replied, “I mean to have it on that day without fail, as I know business people have a license to tell lies―promising what they do not perform.” This led me to speak solemnly about what it was to sin against God, and of the uncertainty of life―that either of us might be in eternity before that day.
On another occasion, when speaking of a Sunday excursion she was about to take, I made some remark, and quoted, “All seek their own, not the things, of Jesus Christ, on Sundays as well as on other days.” She replied, “I am a Roman Catholic, and do not listen to these things; I know you are a Protestant.”
I answered, “Well, if you call yourself a Roman Catholic, and me a Protestant, be it so, still we will both come to the one conclusion, we would like to go to heaven when we die, for I suppose you will admit death will someday come to you―God only knows when, and yet there is only one way to heaven―it is through the precious blood of Jesus only.”
“No,” said she, “that is what you think, and are taught to hold, but it is all wrong; it is not that easy, you must work hard for it, and then you may get there. You are very wrong.”
“Not so, my friend,” I replied, “God says the precious blood of Jesus only, and I believe Him.”
“No,” she said, “you are all wrong; but I do not trouble about these things, I am a true Catholic, and attend all my duties; but I am determined to see life and have pleasure whenever I can, and I am off to Bray tomorrow.”
Some six months elapsed ere I again saw or heard of her, and then it was on her deathbed, the circumstances of which I will now relate.
Two days before she sent for me, she had been with some friends at Malahide, when she slipped upon a rock, and in making a great effort to recover, strained herself internally. She was taken home, and the doctor said she had only forty-eight hours to live. Her parents told her she was very ill, and they were going to send for the priest. “No,” said she, “I will not see a priest, send for a lady that I know, for she will tell me about Jesus.” The whole of Sunday they put the matter off, but on Monday she insisted, saying, “If you do not send, I will get up and go myself, no matter how bad I am;” and calling her only sister to her, she said, “Alice, why will you not go for that lady? (she did not even know my name), I am dying, and you are refusing my last request.” Alice went to―, but failing to find me there, brought back word that I had left. Again the dying girl besought her to seek, and not to come back till she had found me. She went to several places, and at last discovered my present address, but found I was absent at the prayer-meeting, to which spot she followed me.
On reaching the house her father opened the door, and I asked if I might see his daughter. He inquired what I knew of her. I replied, “Very little, but I heard this evening she was ill, and I felt I should like to see her.”
“Madam, do you belong to the Catholic Church?”
“No, sir,” I replied; “I belong to the Church of God; I am simply a sinner saved by grace.” He made use of very strong language, and then said, “As she wants to see you, I suppose you must, but it is shocking to have the like of this in one’s house.”
I entered her room, the door of which was open, and there before me lay a face I well-remembered, but so changed, for she looked wild with pain of body and mind. She exclaimed, “Oh, you have come at last! you are welcome! I want you to tell me about Jesus;” her mother adding, “and His blessed mother.”
“No,” she went on; “Jesus only. I am dying; I know where I am, but I do not know where I am going to; it is all dark; it is awful; do tell me about Jesus; sit down and tell me.”
“There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; who gave himself a ransom for all” (1 Tim. 2:5, 65For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; 6Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time. (1 Timothy 2:5‑6)), was my reply to her earnest appeal. “It is God’s word, not mine; man’s words are of little use in these solemn matters; let us have God’s word for it,” and taking my Testament from my pocket I read, “Without shedding of blood there is no remission” (Heb. 9:2222And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission. (Hebrews 9:22)), and “Christ died for the ungodly” (Rom. 5:66For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. (Romans 5:6)). I then continued, “If one thing be more solemn than another, it is to read that ‘it is the blood that maketh atonement for the soul’ (Lev. 17:1111For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul. (Leviticus 17:11)). It is not the blood of any mere creature which can atone for sin. Then just think of God’s blessed Son, Jesus, shedding His blood for sinners like you and me. Remember Christ’s death must come in to have blood-shedding, and it is His blood alone― not tears, prayers, works, or feelings―nothing but His precious blood, can save you from everlasting hell, ‘where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched’ (Mark 9:4444Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. (Mark 9:44))” The poor mother now looked as if she could stand this no longer, and saying a few things about saints and their goodness, added, “Well, Mary, I think you would like to see this lady without me.”
Mary answered, “I am dying, mother, and I want only to hear about Jesus―that is all I ask her to tell me;” and the mother left the room. Truly God in His own matchless grace cleared the way for me.
“Now, Mary,” I said, “you think you are dying?” “I am dying, not because the doctor said it, but I feel and know I am dying.”
“Well, since you know this, it is only waste of time to talk much. You are about to meet God-a solemn position, my dear friend, but I dare not keep it back from you; meet God you must. You must meet Him, against whom you and I have sinned, ‘for all have sinned’ (Rom. 3:2323For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; (Romans 3:23)); but see how Jesus, God’s blessed Son, has met all His claims, which you and I outraged. Jesus has ‘made peace through the blood of his cross.’ Jesus has done it all alone, and now all you have to do is to trust that same Jesus. He died for you; accept His offer of salvation, and you are saved forever. Through this man ‘―Jesus―is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: and by him all that believe are justified from all things’ (Acts 13:3838Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: (Acts 13:38)).”
Then linking three scriptures together to bring Himself before the soul, I said― “Jesus, the Mediator; Jesus, the blood-shedding One; Jesus, the only name whereby we must be saved. He is the only One who can give remission of sins, and the moment you believe in Him you shall receive the forgiveness of your sins.” This brought forth―
“I see it clear, and know well He alone can save my soul, but I can’t venture enough to die; it is awful. I can’t trust; I know I should, and why can’t I?”
“Just because you are not looking to Him, and forgetting everything else. Now, why did you send for me?”
“Because I knew no one else to tell me about Jesus, and I am afraid to die. If I only felt Jesus would have me, I would not care what happened me.”
“But how did you know I would come?”
“I felt sure if you heard I was dying, and wanted you, you would come. From what I knew of you I felt I could trust you.”
“And do you think I am better and more to be trusted than the blessed Lord, who shed His precious blood on the cross for you? Come, now, did I ever die for you? Is my word more to be depended on than His, which will never pass away? Listen to it,” and I read 1 Peter 1:25,25But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you. (1 Peter 1:25) and Luke 16:1717And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. (Luke 16:17).
“You are good, but He is far better,” she said.
“Thank God,” I replied, “for these four words, for it shows confidence in Him― ‘He is ‘far better.’ Truly He is ten thousand times better than we give Him credit for.”
“But I can’t feel yet that I could die,” she replied; “it is awful. I see and know well now all that Jesus has done for me, and yet I can’t say I am willing to die. Oh, my―” and here a long struggle ensued. She then went on to say, “I know it was for bad people He died, and I am so bad.”
“That word ‘sinners’ is your grand title to Him. It was for sinners Jesus died. Are you too good to be saved by Him? or are you too bad?”
“No, indeed; how could I be too good for Him? and you read His blood would wash all sins away, and Himself forgive all sins and pardon, and oh! I do want Jesus.”
“Well,” I said, “let us pray, and ask Him to fix your eye ‘now on Himself, where He is in glory. He is not on the cross now. His eye has been on you since you were born, though you may not have thought of Him. May He by the power of the Holy Spirit set your eye on Himself just now. One verse more to let you see God’s love and Jesus’, both on your behalf,” and I read, “‘God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life’ (John 3:1616For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)). God so loved you that He gave Jesus, and it is God’s pleasure to save you the moment you believe in Jesus.”
I knelt in prayer, and about five or six sentences were expressed when she placed her dear dying hand on my arm and said, “STOP! I SEE IT ALL.” Her face told even more than words the joy she had found in Him. “Yes, Lord Jesus I can and will trust You,” she exclaimed. “I know You are well able to carry me over. I do not fear to die; I will trust You, blessed Jesus; Your dear blood was shed for me;” and her hitherto pent-up feelings found relief in tears of joy and gratitude, and she then added, “The Man Lord Jesus―why did I not trust You at first? why did I not believe in You long ago?”
A few scriptures were read, to show that salvation, rest, and peace were hers now to enjoy, and then I said, “Shall we thank Him for coming from the Father’s glory to this sinful world to save sinners like you and me?”
“Oh, but I will soon be with Him,” she replied, “and will thank Him, and thank Him.”
“But let us do it now too,” and I began but soon her voice put mine to silence, for she prayed, and it was prayer, such as I never heard before, the breathings of a new-born and delighted soul, filled with joy and thankfulness: still there was deep true sorrow for the long past waste of time, and not even wanting to know Him till she was afraid to die, and then, even then, He accepted her.
At this point her mother entered the room, and Mary exclaimed, “O mother! O mother! I am going to Jesus. I know where I am going to now―it is all so bright; I am going to Jesus. He shed His own blood; it is His blood I am trusting alone, and He―yes, He is carrying me.”
The poor mother would not permit her to go on without interrupting her about saints, &c., but Mary continued, “Dear mother, it is easy to die with Jesus, but awful! awful! if you do not entirely trust Him. You may, if it is any pleasure to you and father, send for the priest now, for I have got Jesus; he can’t take Him from me, but he never told me of Jesus alone, and His blood. No works, only His own work on the cross.” The mother was still trying to get a word in for the saints, and begging her to look to the “blessed mother” before it would be too late. “No,” said Mary, “she never shed her blood for me, it was Jesus only did that; long enough I was looking, and praying to her and the saints, and so I was near enough indeed, dear mother, of being too late, and having nothing but darkness forever. But for Jesus I should have been, and I will trust Him only, no priest can take Him from me. Sure he can’t,” she said, turning to me;” does not the Bible tell us so? “And once more the precious word,” I am persuaded that neither death nor life.... nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:38, 3938For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38‑39)), was read.
The mother left, refusing to stay whilst I read the Bible, but soon returned again with Alice, when Mary said, “Trust Jesus only; oh, if I had only done it long before this, how happy I would be! Dear mother, will you look only to Jesus, my Saviour? Do promise me! And will you, my Alice? will you? I can’t, no, I can’t forget you, dear Alice, you did it for me; I do love you for it more than I can tell you.” The mother exclaimed, “Stop I stop I child―child, it is damnation to listen to you.” She replied, “Dear mother, it is God, and Jesus, who have promised, and taken bad me, and I am happy, for I am going to Jesus.”
The father called Alice away, and I did not see her again, and I now said, “Mary, I will leave you, as I feel your dear mother, father, and sister are those who should be near you now.” The mother said, “Yes, when you have done her damnation, and sent her to hell, you go; you are bad.”
Mary did not quite catch all she said, and asked what it was. I replied, “It is no matter, dear, I am going; have you any fear of death or meeting God?”
“No, indeed,” she replied, “I am going to Jesus, God’s Son. Nothing to fear now. Yes, mother, to Jesus.”
She took leave of me most affectionately, and said― “I am going to Jesus, and you will come after me; I will meet you again, I know, but speak for Jesus when and wherever you can, no matter to whom.”
I left for the twelve o’clock train. Next morning I called early, but Mary had gone to the Lord between three and four o’clock, and I gathered that she was equally bright to the end, for they spoke of her “stubborn and devilish doctrine,” and firmness in it to the last, and said very hard things of her.
Her parents sent for the priest, but she was gone when he arrived. I asked, “Did she wish for the priest before she died?” “No, indeed,” they replied, “it was only what she said while you were in the room that gave us any hope of getting him, and we sent at once for the first we could get.”
Such, dear reader, are the simple details of the way taken by the God of matchless grace to reach and bring salvation to a precious soul, where so many difficulties stood in the way. The desire which was awakened in her soul to hear about “Jesus” He took means to meet and satisfy―she was in real earnest, and where such is the case, He will move heaven and earth to bring it to pass. My reader may be one of those who are more privileged than was Mary, who have the Word of God in their hands, who hear the Gospel constantly, who may have Christian parents or friends, who have again and again spoken to them on the subject, and yet have never allowed themselves to be really in earnest, and consequently all the privileges only deepen the condemnation which at this moment rests on all those who have not been brought, like this dear girl, to find Jesus only, and His work on the cross alone, as the foundation on which to rest, and which gave her such perfect peace and boldness. If such be the case, may this be the moment when you will be led to see the danger in which you stand, and flee now to that One who is so ready and willing to bless and save.
A. M. B.