A tent meeting was being held in a town about two and a half miles from my home. I had been there several times, and often I would have given myself to Jesus had not pride kept me back. I was afraid of what people might say! Yes, through pride I yielded to Satan, who whispered, "There is plenty of time. You are young. Besides you are a great deal better than many other girls, for you go to church regularly, and read your Bible, and say your prayers morning and evening; and what else could be expected of you?"
But my heart was not satisfied. I often thought of that verse: "Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting." Dan. 5:2727TEKEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting. (Daniel 5:27). I did not know what I lacked, for surely I was good enough! The more I thought of what the evangelist said in the tent the more miserable I felt. So I determined not to go again, for he made all my righteousnesses seem as filthy rags after hearing his preaching. My sister, who had been a Christian for some years, knew a little of what was passing in my mind, and she persuaded me to accompany her once more. On our way she spoke of the joy of salvation, and I fully made up my mind that, come what might, I would give myself to Christ.
At the close of the service the evangelist offered some gospel books, as he had done several times before, to any who were anxious to be saved. How my heart beat! Should I, or should I not accept one? I thought of all I would have to give up if I became a Christian. Then I thought: "This may be my last opportunity for accepting Christ. Many times He has called me, and I have refused." Ah! no one but myself and God knows what a battle was fought in those few moments. God, who is always ready to help those who ask Him, helped me then; and the verse, "My grace is sufficient for thee," flashed across my mind. With an effort, I got up in front of all the people—I knew nearly all there—and went over to the evangelist and took a book. How I trembled!
When the people were going out, I went to the evangelist and asked him if I might talk to him. He said, "I am so glad to see you; you have taken a step tonight in the right path, and I thank God for it." Then he showed me, as clearly as possible, God's way of salvation. But it seemed too simple, for I was laboring under the mistake that I had something to do to merit salvation, instead of having only to trust the Savior. And is not this a mistake which many anxious ones make? If there were some great thing to do before people could be saved how cheerfully they would do it; but what can we do to save ourselves? Absolutely nothing!
I went home and read the little book that had been given me. The next night at the tent as someone prayed he stressed these words, "He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life." John 3:3636He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him. (John 3:36). God graciously applied them to my soul. I thanked Him for His word "HATH."
Afterwards the evangelist said to me, "You must look to God and not to yourself." He took a key out of his pocket, and said, "Now suppose you were to ask me for that key, and I offered it to you. Would you keep on asking for it when you could take it any minute? Is not that what you have been doing with God? He is offering you forgiveness through His Son Jesus Christ. You have but to accept."
Thank God, I did so; and, although very often I have been assailed with doubts and fears, yet I know "I am His, and He is mine." May I never be ashamed to own Him as my Savior and my Lord.