Early one morning years ago, a trim British sailing vessel, the "Golden Fleece," lay moored in the harbor at Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia. The sails hung loose ready to be "sheeted home" for the start of the voyage to Valparaiso, Chile.
The captain announced: "It's seven bells, lads, We'll have breakfast and then cast off and get under way.”
In the deck house the crew gathered, myself included to enjoy as best we could a tough beef steak. After breakfast I filled a huge clay pipe with tobacco and began to puff a cloud. Suddenly, as if close by my side, the words came clearly: "Prepare to meet thy God.”
Taking the pipe out of my mouth, I looked around. There was no one near. I thought: "That's strange! I haven't been near any religious meetings for years—and now this message comes to me!" It is many years since this occurred, yet it is as vivid in my memory as if it had been today.
The "Golden Fleece" slipped her mooring cable and sped out through the blue Pacific. The anchors were stored and we were kept busy with the many duties of ship life. But amidst all the activity those words—"Prepare to meet thy God"—echoed and reechoed in my mind. At night the words seemed reflected in the binnacle where the compass is mounted to steer by. In the spread of the snowy sails they seemed to display themselves.
"Is there no escape from this?" I cried. An agony of soul that is simply indescribable began to seize upon me. With Job 1 could say, "The arrows of the Almighty are within me, the poison whereof drinketh up my spirit." Job 6:44For the arrows of the Almighty are within me, the poison whereof drinketh up my spirit: the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me. (Job 6:4).
Martin Luther once said: "The realized burden of sin is the torture of tortures." I found it true, for the lash, the scourge, the rack, all combine in a soul convicted of sin. What was I to do? Pray? What would I pray? The "litany" which I had learned as a boy and had repeated so often in the parish church came to mind. It seemed to suit my case and so I used it as best I knew.
"Oh God, the Father of heaven, have mercy upon a miserable sinner!
Oh God, the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on a miserable sinner!
Oh God, the Holy Ghost, proceeding from the Father and the Son, have mercy on a miserable sinner!" I had not prayed for years, but NOW I meant every word I said. The burden was intolerable. "If I should miss my footing and fall overboard, how could I endure this FOREVER?”
The thought was enough to drive me mad. "Perhaps there's something in the Bible that might help," I thought. So the old Book, cast aside for so long, was brought out. It only added to my load of condemnation; for when we had taken on a cargo of sugar in the Island of Mauritius we had picked up some beetles. These had eaten every part of the leather cover of the Book. This evidence of my neglect stung me with white hot thrusts. Did not the same "litany" contain a petition to be kept from contempt of God's Word and commandment? Here was proof of my willful neglect and guilt!
"Depth of mercy, can there be
Mercy still reserved for ME?
Can the Lord His wrath forbear—
Me the worst of sinners, spare?”
But then the Book said, "Come." How could I come? Had I been ashore, it would, I thought, have been easy! I'd just go to the old parish church! But here, hemmed in on all sides by the vast Pacific, how could anyone COME?
"Lighten my darkness, I beseech Thee, O Lord," I cried, as I remembered the evening prayer in the Prayer Book. Great beads of sweat rolled down my face. I had come to the end of my efforts. "I can do no more. I'm too bad for God to have anything to do with. I've got what I deserved. I've sown the wind and now I must reap the whirlwind. Serves me right!”
Then like a lightning flash, there rang through my soul the words of Holy Scripture—"Him that cometh to ME I will in no wise cast out." John 6:3737All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. (John 6:37). Instantly I saw it all! And it was for ME!
"There for me the Savior stands,
Shows His wounds and spreads His hands;
God is love, I surely know
By the Savior's depths of woe.”
My burden was gone; the tempest ceased. "For through Thy blood, Lord Jesus, I have found peace.
Oh, the blessedness of sins forgiven," I cried.
As a small boy reciting the creed, how often I had said: "I believe in the forgiveness of sins." Now I could say truthfully, from God's own Word—"I KNOW my sins ARE all forgiven.”
The beetles no longer had a chance to eat the edges off my little Bible. I feasted, yes, I reveled in what I now found in the precious volume.
"Suffer a sinner, whose heart overflows
Loving his Savior, to tell what he knows;
Once more to tell it would I embrace,
I'm only a sinner—SAVED BY GRACE.”