Among the people of God, all down through the ages of man’s history, God has intended the home to be a haven of safety, warmth, godliness and love. When the church was formed, God provided another place of protection from the influence of the world, namely, the Christian assembly. Thus today we have both the Christian home and the Christian assembly as places of safety and refuge, away from the influences of an ungodly world. Satan has constantly sought to destroy these, and particularly in these last days. Nevertheless, God still expects what He has set up to provide protection for His people, and He will give us the needed grace to maintain them, if we look to Him. Since this issue of The Christian concerns the household of faith, perhaps we can look at some of the practical entities that should characterize the Christian home, if it is to be a true shelter from all that is in the world.
The Word of God
First of all, the Christian home should be a place where the Word of God is honored, read, explained, and made a part of everyday life. As the world deviates more and more from what God has given us in His Word, so we need more and more to be familiar with God’s thoughts, as revealed in His Word. Parents should encourage this by reading the Word of God together and with their children. While every exposure to the Word of God is profitable, a family reading need not be simply a dry, formal reading of the Scriptures. Rather, the Bible should be read and then explained in practical terms and applied to everyday life, within the ages and maturity of the children involved. Also, every part of the Word of God should be read in a family context. Some parents may be reluctant to read certain parts of the Bible that deal with serious sin, but while the Lord does not hesitate to expose the wickedness of man’s natural heart, He does so by bringing it into the light of His presence and warning us about it. The Word of God never excites the flesh or gives rise to sinful thoughts.
Children should also be encouraged to read the Bible on their own. If children are old enough to read, they are old enough to read the Word for themselves and to allow the Lord to speak to them through it. In this way God’s Word becomes woven into the fabric of our lives, and as an old brother used to say, we learn to “think in the language of Scripture.”
Peace and Rest
Second, the Christian home should be a place of peace and rest. We live and move in a world of confusion and turmoil, and there is scarcely any respite from it. We are in the last days. More and more the self-centeredness, covetousness and hatred of man’s natural heart are being manifested. We may have to live and move in such a world in order to get an education or make a living, but the character of the world should not be allowed to invade the Christian home. Our homes should rather be a haven from all of this, where the soul and spirit are refreshed and restored.
Parents must take the lead in all this and foster an attitude of calmness, peace and encouragement. Such things as anger, harsh words, bad moods, sinful attitudes and irritability must be carefully avoided. If we have been wrongly dealt with out in the world and have had a hard day, it is easy to bring all this home with us and corrupt the domestic environment too. Paul could remind the Ephesians, “But ye have not so learned Christ” (Eph. 4:20). We are beginning to see “the sea and waves roaring” (Luke 21:25), referring, no doubt, to the restless and troubled state of the nations, but our homes should be a calm harbor, free of all this.
A Place of Order
Third, the Christian home should be a place of order. God is a God of order, and we see this first of all in creation, then in His regulation of His earthly people in the Old Testament, and finally in His instructions to His church. Because God’s claims and His Word have been largely set aside, the world has increasingly become a place of disorder. It has even become fashionable in some circles to lead a disorganized and somewhat sloppy lifestyle, as if this were more likely to produce a proper result. In actual fact, it is really, at least in most cases, self-seeking and a lack of energy to do what is right. Discipline is set aside, and the end result is often an undisciplined attitude toward everything, including spiritual matters. Good habits do not all come naturally; they must be cultivated and practiced.
Of course, this can be carried to an extreme, which should be avoided. When our Lord was on earth, He had to tell Martha that she was “careful and troubled about many things,” because she was “cumbered about much serving.” It is possible to spend so much time on one aspect of our lives that we neglect something else that is more important. However, this is really a lack of order, for proper arrangements in our lives would take note of priorities and deal with them accordingly. All of this only emphasizes the need for discipline and order in the home. Again, this must start with parents, who must teach by both precept and example, and sometimes by discipline. Parents must remember that they cannot teach their children something that they have not learned themselves.
A Place of Holiness
Fourth, the Christian home should be a place of holiness. God has foretold us that in the tribulation period, right after the Lord comes and takes us home, the days will be like the days of Noah and Lot, where unbridled lust, violence and corruption were rampant. He has also given us a strongly-worded description of the last days in 2 Timothy 3:1-7, a condition of things that will lead into the tribulation period. God does not judge iniquity until it is fully ripe, and we know that the tide of evil in this world will eventually reach a crescendo before the judgment of God falls. We are already seeing this awful wave of sin beginning to rise, and, again, it is easy to allow it to affect our homes. No Christian family wants the wickedness of the world in the home, but modern technology, such as television, the Internet, home movies and other electronic devices such as iPods, all tend to bring the world into our home. We cannot totally eliminate the use of at least some of these things, but they should be carefully controlled, realizing that it is not technology itself but rather the use man makes of it that causes harm. When we are exposed to the world in this way, it is very easy to adopt the world’s way of thinking and speaking — an attitude that will gradually deprive us of our joy in Christ.
Recreation and Activity
This brings us to our fifth point — proper recreation and activities for our families. It is a principle with God that He never takes something away from us without first giving us something far better in return, and it should be the same way in our homes. Children need what is given to us in Scripture as a type — honey. Honey speaks of the sweetness of nature, and throughout the Old Testament it is presented as that which enlightens and encourages, if taken in moderation. When Israel was pursuing the Philistines in the time of Saul, he forbad anyone to taste anything until his enemies were fully defeated. Jonathan, not knowing of the decree, tasted some honey he found and was refreshed. The rest of the people obeyed Saul’s order, but then dishonored the Lord by eating meat with the blood, because they were faint with hunger. In Proverbs we are told, “Hast thou found honey? Eat so much as is sufficient for thee” (Prov. 25:16). Too much honey is not good for the body, and too much of the things of nature can spoil us spiritually. However, to deny children recreation and the enjoyment of natural things will harm them spiritually as well. We are dead to sin and dead to the law, but Scripture never says that we are dead to nature, and it is most important to remember this with our children. Sinful and worldly pleasures should be carefully avoided, but children need exercise and play, and parents should provide for this.
The children of Israel were told not to “seethe a kid in his mother’s milk” (Ex. 23:19); that is, they were not to cook it in that which was designed for its nourishment. When we force the Word of God on children in an overbearing and legal manner, or use it in a way that brings death instead of nourishment, we can be guilty of the same thing in principle. Let us by all means use every opportunity to bring Scripture before them, but also provide honey in suitable amounts. Games, outings, and other enjoyable activities should involve parents, if possible, and perhaps other Christian children. The Word of God wisely gives no rules as to all this, as details must be worked out before the Lord, taking all of our circumstances into account.
Teaching by Precept and Example
Finally, the home should be a place of teaching, not only by precept, but also by example. Parents should read the Word of God with their children, but children should also be encouraged to read the Scriptures on their own. Parents should teach their children good work habits and lead by example, in such things as order, finishing a job that is started, and keeping a bedroom clean. They should be taught early on the value of money and the proper use of it. The wild spending habits and debt of many societies today can be traced back to parents who did not teach their children properly, because they themselves were undisciplined in this area.
Parents should lead the children in service to others. Children can help cook and bake for others less capable, and they can also carry out thoughtful errands for neighbors or elderly friends. They need to learn early on that life is not “all about me.”
In the spiritual realm, children should be taught to evangelize. This may come easier for some families than for others, but in 2 Timothy 4, Paul told Timothy to “do the work of an evangelist.” Each one of us should be found “holding forth the Word of life” in our everyday lives; parents will teach this more by example than by precept.
Above all, a Christian household should be characterized by putting the Lord first in all things, so that it is clear to all who come in contact with it that “Christ is all, and in all.”
W. J. Prost