Paul’s health was very poor, and he became visibly weaker. His diseased lungs often caused him terrible pain. At times, when his sufferings became too intense, I heard him groan, ‘O, my God and Father, help me and be merciful to me; yet not my will, but Thine be done.’ Then again he would say: ‘Yes Lord, I know—I believe—that all things work together for good to those who are Thine own.’
But what touched me most was the unchanging meekness and kindness. He was content with anything, and so thankful for even the least favor or service we would do for him, so that my wife and children too were deeply touched.
One day I said to my wife: ‘I do not know what to think of Paul; he is so different now from what he was before. I am so surprised about it. Today he spoke to me so strangely of the goodness of God and of the deep peace he possessed, and yet he knows quite well that death is rapidly approaching. I must say that his words and ways have made deep impressions upon me.’
‘It is the same with me,’ responded my wife, ‘and I can tell you also the cause of this great change in him. Paul has become a Christian!’
‘Has become a Christian!’ I exclaimed. ‘What do you mean by that, are we then heathens?’
‘No, not just that,’ responded my wife, ‘but can we say of ourselves that we are really and truly Christians? What do we know about Christ? Have we ever cared about Him? Have we not often used His name in vain? It can be of little use to us to be Christians in name only. To be a Christian is connected with responsibility; but it has never given us any concern that we have to give account of all our deeds and thoughts and ways; and that the Lord Jesus has died for sinners and borne the just punishment of sins on that cross—well, perhaps we have known it—but whether He bore our sins, we have never troubled our minds about. Wherefore we had no right to call ourselves Christians in the true sense of the word. At least thus it stood with me until recently, but I learned a number of precious facts from Paul. In my conversations with him, I heard things which at first astonished me much, and it seemed rather presumptuous on my part to believe, and appropriate them to myself, but I can say, through the grace of God, that they are now my greatest joy.
Thus, or at least in similar language, spoke my wife. As a matter of fact I was surprised, having never heard her speak in that way before.
‘And what have you learned from Paul?’ I inquired after a pause.
‘You shall know all,’ she continued; ‘just listen! Some time ago, while Paul had one of his severe coughing spells, I sought to support him as much as possible, arranging his pillow. While doing this a little book fell to the floor. Imagine my astonishment when I recognized it to be a New Testament. Quietly putting the book back again under the pillow, I did not mention my discovery to Paul at that time. The following morning I spoke to him about it
‘O aunt,’ he answered, ‘this book I received from a dying comrade. It was his legacy to me. With his last strength, he begged me to read the little book with prayer. That I have done and it has brought me to the Lord Jesus. He is now the source of all my joy, my peace, and my blessings; for this reason do I love the book. My comrade was not afraid to die, for, he said: “I have peace with God through my Lord Jesus Christ.”’
‘Well,’ I thought, ‘if this has made the lad so happy, then it cannot do me any harm. My heart desired to know what that little book contained. From that time on, Paul has read to me quite often out of the little precious volume, and in this way I have learned many glorious truths, among them the Most important fact, that God has given His only Son for us, to die in our stead, and that everyone who believes in Him shall not be lost, but has eternal life. Then I too came to the Lord Jesus—that is I believed what God has said about me—that I am a sinner, and the Lord Jesus is the Saviour. I too know that peace which Paul enjoys, and thank God for sending him back to our house. He has longed to speak to you about these things; but he fears he is still in your eyes a hypocrite. Because of this, he has often charged himself before the Lord as being unfaithful, and has asked Him to give him boldness to confess His name and his faith in Him to you.’
This confession of my wife made a profound impression upon me. If there was yet a spark of distrust in my heart against my nephew, it was now gone forever. From this time on I was much with Paul and had many precious talks with him; and, thank God, he has blessed Paul’s testimony not to my wife alone, but to my whole family, for all—my son and my daughter, and as the last one I myself—came to the Lord Jesus. He is now each and every one’s Saviour whose presence we enjoy. We can now say like those people in the fourth chapter of the Gospel by John: ‘Now we believe . . . . for we have heard ourselves, and know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world.’
Paul is no more in our midst, for the Lord has taken him to Himself. But (laying his hand upon the little book which had caused the conversation) here is his precious legacy. Twice the book has been inherited, and we cannot thank God enough that we were favored with such a precious inheritance. The book has indeed become a good treasure to us all, and God has blessed His word to our hearts. We have learned to know Christ, and in Him we possess such an abundance of riches, for which we shall thank God through the endless ages of eternity.”
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ.” Eph. 1:3.
ML 05/12/1912