ON hearing that M— H— was ill I called on him. I found him very civil and ready to open his mind to me, and from the first a sort of hope sprang up in my heart that, although he was then a stranger to real godliness, and to the second birth which must, of necessity, precede it, he would be saved.
His disease was of a painful nature, and one about which doctors differed, but he was so struck with the faithfulness and kind treatment he received from a godly physician I sent him to in London, that although he had spoken of the unreality of much of the profession he saw around, he said, when speaking to me about the visit, " Oh, sir, there's reality in Christ's religion; oh, yes, sir, I saw it there, you couldn't mistake that, and I thank you for sending me to him.”
“I am sure, “said I," he had pleasure in doing what he did for you. But he told you that in the end it would terminate fatally, still there is the eternal state, dear M—. You cannot cease to be, and the future is of greater importance than the present life; and what about that?”
"Ah! sir; well, I feel troubled about that.”
“Well, it is better to be told the truth than to be deceived," I said, alluding to what the physician had told him.
“Oh yes, sir, he spoke kindly to me, and said you would not like me to deceive you, and I told him I wanted to know what he really thought about the case. Ah! sir, he treated me as if I were his equal; oh! as if I were his brother; and you don't get much of that, you know, sir, in this world.”
“Well, dear M—, if one of God's children would treat you so tenderly, how much more so will God Himself!”
“Ah, well, Mr. C— tell you just how it is with me. I know I am a sinner, and in my present state I am not fit to die. I don't mean to say that I have done anything, or been anything, worse than any other man in my station; but I know I am guilty before God, and I know, sir, that a man must be converted or be lost.”
“And you know you are not converted?”
“I do indeed, sir, I assure you.”
“Well, hear what God says to such a one, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved (Acts 16:31). ACT 16:31 God so, loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16). JOH 3:16 God gave up His Son to stand in judgment for us, and to bear on the cross, the wrath that He as a righteous God must have poured upon all. Now, since the Lord Jesus bore it all in His own spotless person, when He hung there as the Victim of God's providing (and the fact of God raising Him from the dead is the pledge and the proof that God Himself, against whom we have sinned, is perfectly satisfied,} there is nothing for man to do or to be, who knows he is guilty, but to believe God's testimony about it. And directly he does that, God is as righteous in clearing him of all guilt, as He will be in pouring wrath upon the finally unbelieving man. So that your eternal state hinges upon your acceptance or rejection of God's declaration, or testimony, or word, concerning the all sufficiency of the work of the cross. Guilty as you are before God (and you say you feet it), if you accept what God says about that work, you are saved. You are there and then righteously cleared of all guilt by God Him-self (I don't mean merely assenting to it as a fact, but resting on that work for a guilty one like you,) for the very reason that God, by the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, says it is enough.”
God knew how to reach his heart, and, as it subsequently proved, His word did it. I saw him many titles after that interview, and he got just where so many awakened, troubled souls get; that is, looking for fruit in themselves before simply resting on the work of the cross; and when he was told that it was simply believing what God says about Christ, and the work He wrought on the cross to meet God's claims, and pay the full price of the sinner's complete discharge, he then got occupied with faith, namely, as to whether he had the right sort of faith, and so on, instead of that which is the OBJECT OF FAITH. This was brought before him illustrated in various ways, but he still said, “I don't feel what I want to feel; I fear I don't believe aright; I fear I don't come aright; I don't seem able to love God as I ought.”
I told him that the great mistake he was making was in getting occupied with himself, looking for what could only be found by listening to what God says. I told him it was not trying to believe; trying to come aright; trying to get right faith; trying to love God; as none of these, nor all of them put together, would save a soul, or he would get something to trust in in himself; that nothing could deliver his soul, but simply resting in what God says about Christ's work on the cross.
Having nothing to put before a poor sinner but the work of the cross, I invariably kept to it with him, quoting or reading such scriptures as show the all-sufficiency of it for the guilty, such as "God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." “As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." “It is finished." “Be it known unto you... that through this Man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins, and by Him all who believe are justified from all things." “Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures." “He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him." "Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God," and many other portions bearing on the same glorious truth.
(John 3:14-16; 19:30; Acts 13:38, 39; Cor. 15:3; 2 Cor. 5:21; 1 Peter 3:18). JOH 3:14-16 JOH 19:30 ACT 13:38-39 COR 15:3 2CO 5:21 1PE 3:18
One day, about six months ago, I went in and found him in a prostrate state; but, pulling himself up in bed, he took my hand, and tried to speak.
He was so overjoyed, however, that like a child, he could not at first speak for the lump that was in his throat; but the tears flowed freely, and when he recovered a little he looked up, and with a bright face, while tears still filled his eyes, and stood on his cheeks, like bright sunshine in a shower of rain, he said, "Oh, sir, I'm so happy!”
“Happy are you? How is that?”
“Ah, sir, I see it all now!”
“What do you see?”
“I see as you were telling me, and as a little book I was reading after told me, that I had been occupied with my faith, instead of being occupied with Christ who is the OBJECT OF FAITH. I see it all. The load is all gone. I see Christ did it all, and God is satisfied, and all my sins are gone. Oh! how precious!
What a work, what a Saviour! “And looking upwards, while a lovely smile played on his bright face, he said, “No fear now. I see how God is glorified. Oh, sir, 'tis wonderful! I know I'm saved, God says it; oh, yes, sir, God says it. Oh, how wonderful it is I did not see all this before, when it is all so plain! But I know what it is, I was looking within instead of looking to Him!”
I was like a little child, too, for I felt a lump growing in my throat, and I suppose we wept for joy together. I then knelt down, and praised God beside the bed I had knelt at before in prayer.
I soon went in again, and found him still very happy. He said he should like to go home, but that he believed God would keep him here a little while to speak to others.
And so He did. He got about some little time telling all of God's dealings with him; and, as he said, his mouth was opened before such as at one time he would not have ventured to speak.
The first flush of joy subsided a bit, but peace he never lost.
The last time I saw him he was very bad, the pain and weariness were great indeed; but, looking up, he said he had not a doubt, for it was Christ's work, and not what he felt, that had settled the matter forever, and he longed to be gone.
I think the last word he said to me, in answer as to whether he could still look up, was, 'I long to be gone "; or," I long to be at home.”
He was pained to hear some professing Christians speak of their doubts, as if they had never yet got their eyes off self, and fixed on Christ and His work. He regarded it as dishonoring to Christ, and as weakening to their testimony; and touchingly asked, “Why is it so, Mr. C ? I cannot understand it.”
My clear, unpardoned reader, will you go on as you are to hell, when Jesus died to save sinners from it?
'Troubled one, why should you listen to your own heart or Satan, or to any enemy, when the God who loves you, is telling out His heart of love to you in the death of the Lord Jesus on the cross to free you forever?
Child of God, did you ever analyze your motives in the matter of doubting your security as a believer? Did it ever occur to you that pride may be at the bottom of it, wishing to find a little bit of self-goodness to rest in? Did it ever occur to you that your worldly walk may be the secret of it? Did you ever look at it in the light this dear and bright saint did as dishonoring to CHRIST, and a weakening of your testimony?
Whatever may be at the bottom of it, you may look from one cover of your Testament to the other, hut will not find 'God the author of such work in you, neither will you find it Christian experience; though, alas! it is the experience of many Christians.
With God and your own soul I leave the matter, and trust the above simple narrative will be used for blessing even to you.
J. C.