He withheld his heart from God, yet maintained that God loved him. He lived in pleasure, and although the Word of eternal truth pronounced him dead, he flattered his soul with the thought of possessing eternal life. In a few days more another blood vessel broke, and after lingering three weeks, when unable to speak, he gave signs of wanting something. After many things had been brought to him in vain, the Bible was opened; he signified that to be his object, but every precious passage seemed to make him more and more uneasy; he appeared to be desiring something to buoy his hopes which he could not find, looked inexpressible disappointment, sunk into insensibility, and so died. Who can tell the sufferings of Ellen’s mind during this awful interval? Day by day she wrestled, yea, she agonized in prayer for his soul, but the cloud grew darker and darker. She saw him approach eternity without one scriptural hope, and it seemed as if in this matter she must feel the consequences of the forbidden alliance. And oh, when all was over, and her distracted spirit inquired after his— when still the affections, which had indeed been most fondly fixed, followed their beloved object— the bitterness was worse than that of Rachel mourning for her children, who would not be comforted, because they were not! She wished to be comforted, but could not. Where could she find a ray of hope? He was gone, and she knew he was gone forever; they were parted, and she knew they were parted forever.
“Would to God I had died for thee!” was her only passionate cry, save that now and then the exclamation burst forth, “Oh, his soul, his soul!” Then, again, the consciousness of this agony of spirit being the consequence of having been unequally yoked together, and not in the Lord, extorted the piercing words from her quivering lips, “Oh that I had never loved, or never lost!” It was, indeed, an anguish of soul that no words can describe, nor any mind conceive, that has not trodden the same path of disobedience at the beginning, and of similar suffering afterward. We forbear tracing the horrors of this period—they did not soon nor easily subside; but at length her heart bowed to the will of God with more quiet endurance of its woes in a case which admitted of no consolation. The wants and cares of her family also tended to arouse, and, in some measure, to divert her from thoughts that were preying on her health, and even almost on her reason. The Lord graciously mingled spiritual comforts with these otherwise overwhelming sorrows, or she might possibly have sunk into the pitiable condition of a melancholy lunatic. Sometimes in communion with her God she felt the smiles of His countenance, and for a while forgot her misery.
The engaging conversation with her children, after some months, drew Ellen’s mind to other subjects; but even in these hours of soothing maternal employments, she was often unconsciously pierced to the heart by the questions and observations of her dear little companions. One day, while discoursing with them on the Scripture, she told her little Henry to seek of God to make him a Christian indeed, he asked her what it was to be one. While endeavoring to explain from Scripture the Christian character in its upright and beneficent conduct to its fellow-creatures, and in its holy walk with God, the young disciple assured her he would be one; but pausing, as if comparing some past recollections with what he heard, he innocently inquired, “But, mamma, was dear papa a Christian indeed?” Her heart was ready to break! She could only cover her face and weep. They gazed on her, and in the simplicity of love wept with her. There was seldom on these occasions a question asked why; for tears had been lately too frequent to be strange.
After a lapse of some months had produced an alleviation of the first burst of grief, her husband’s brother, who was left executor of his will, and appointed guardian to the children, proposed to enter on the arrangement of various matters, and asked her plan in regard to the education of the children. Ellen informed him that she intended to instruct them all herself if spared, at least till Henry’s age would require other tutors; but to her dismay he told her, in the most delicate manner, that his duty would not permit him to accede to her desires on this point; that for one twelve months he wished all the children to remain with her, as their company might soothe her affliction, but after that period, it was his imperative duty to place both Anne and Henry at schools which he named (places which Ellen knew to be fashionable seminaries, where anything but religion would be inculcated), assuring her that, although he earnestly desired that they might never imbibe her views of piety, yet he would not interfere in such a matter but for his departed brother’s express wishes, which he showed to her, written to him during the period of his first attack of illness, and that under such circumstances he thought the directions of the dead were binding on them both. Ellen did not think so. She pleaded that the directions of God superseded every other, and were binding on everybody; but she could not prevail, nor could she help herself. Mr. R-. had the power in his hands, and nothing could dissuade him from using it, as enjoined by his brother; at the same time, he politely begged that she would invariably avail herself of any assistance which it might ever be in the power of his friendship to afford her; adding his conviction, that she had fully deserved the utmost kindness of all his brother’s family; and that even with all the objection he saw to the enthusiasm of her religion, she had made one of the best wives he had ever known. With these acknowledgments he took his leave.
Ellen shuddered at the long prospect of continued evil which she saw must yet arise from her unhappy forgetfulness of God in her unscriptural marriage. To be separated from her beloved children was no light trouble to her affectionate breast; but the effect which such unchristian training must have on their souls filled her with serious alarm. Anne was now of an age wherein the character often receives impressions that last through life, and she perceived it already to need the utmost maternal pious care, to counteract a disposition naturally giddy, and much influenced by the worldliness and frivolity that had been constantly before her observation. “Alas!” said she, “And must you also, my precious children, partake the consequences of your mother’s transgression? Must it expose you also to the corruption which is in the world, of enmity to Christ? And while I would bring you in my arms to Him for His blessing, must I see you trained by His foes—His despisers—to reject and forget Him like themselves?” And now for the first time she was led to see the mercy which had sheltered her blessed little Jane in the bosom of the Saviour from the evil to come.
We forbear to trace her through complicated difficulties, which were constantly unfolding some fresh hindrance to every pious desire; What could she otherwise expect from an alliance with that world which God declares to be lying in wickedness? We close this warning to those who may be under the like temptation, with a letter written by Ellen to a young friend professing piety, who was receiving the addresses of a suitor, who, though moral, was yet destitute of the scriptural evidences of being a child of God.
“My Beloved L—, “I cannot see you advance to the brink of a whirlpool, strewed with wrecks of peace and piety, without calling to you, as you love God and your soul, to pause and escape from the ruinous snare while yet it is in your power. If you know not the Lord’s commands on the subject of the union of His people in bonds that nothing but death can dissolve, read 2 Corinthians 6:14, and then will you take the members of Christ, and make them those of a stranger to His grace? Oh, my friend, there can be no happiness in disobedience to God. Is it a light matter to prefer a heart wherein He does not dwell, to Himself? You fondly hope to be the means of converting your proposed companion for life; but is rejecting God’s Word a likely way to be thus blessed? You may say there is much that is promising in his character. Let there be all things else, if there be no evidence of divine grace in the heart, he is not ‘in the Lord,’ and therefore your Lord and Saviour forbids the union. It may now cost you much to retrace your steps, but infinitely more to continue them; and, cost what it will, God clearly requires the sacrifice, and He will support you in it. You probably know not how to break off matters; suffer me then to advise. Simply show your suitor the Word of God, and tell him you dare not disobey (1 Cor. 7:39). When you feel the pain of this step, think of me.”
“But it is not for me to complain. I am a wonder of grace. The Lord hath restored my soul, when its own folly had well-nigh ranked it among those who forget God. Oh, my friend, remember the poor sufferer who warns you! Break the snare, and endure anything but the wretchedness of an unscriptural marriage. Sometimes pray for the affectionate but broken-hearted Ellen R— .”
(Continued)