Words for Women: December 2012
Table of Contents
Words for Women
Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies. Virtue shows itself in many ways. Here are a few examples. Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. Hannah made a little coat and brought it to her son from year to year. Dorcas: this woman was full of good works and almsdeeds which she did. Unto the elect lady and her children. The children of thy elect sister greet thee. I am black, but comely. Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes. His mother’s name was Abi, and he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord. Martha served; Mary took a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus. Mary also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. The beloved Persis labored much in the Lord. Mary bestowed much labor on us. Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome brought sweet spices that they might come and anoint Him. Very early in the morning they came, at the rising of the sun. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. A woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Womanhood
How many have seen a circle drawn on a piece of paper with a small segment missing? Our minds can trace the missing segment and complete the circle. Somehow the existence of the missing segment is clear to our mind, even though it is not visible on the paper. We deduce that the missing piece is vital to the whole. For me, the “missing piece” is an example of the complex and uniquely challenging position that women of God hold. By emphasizing the complexity of a godly woman’s position, in no way would I want to diminish the difficulties that assault the man of God today. In their sphere, they deal with things just as complex and trying. Satan is ever ready to tear down anything and anyone that would seek to exalt Christ. But to return to godly women, what are we here for? Yes, we are wives and mothers. Yes, we are sisters and daughters. After the godly order, we try to perform all that those relationships require of us. But who are we before God and in the family and in the assembly? Is our womanhood confined to the obligations of our roles? Does our role make the gender or does the gender make the role? Outside of our God-given duties, what does our womanhood offer to the whole? How do we complete the circle? These questions arise in my own heart, and I don’t think that I am the only woman who struggles with a feeling of wanting completeness in the whole.
If, by chance, someone reading this article doesn’t know how a godly woman is to act in the home and in the assembly, the Scriptures are replete with instructions. Read: Genesis 2-3, Proverbs 31, 1 Corinthians 7 and 11, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, 1 Timothy 2 and 5, and Titus 2. The instructions are clear and they come from a God of order and beauty, a God of completeness and totality. When He begins a work, He completes it. There are no missing segments in His whole. So how does a godly woman find that completeness in her womanhood? We need to go back to the beginning.
The Order From Creation
God created man. God created woman from man. Their commonality is their flesh and bones. “Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23).
God made two uniquely distinct persons, man and woman, from a common “flesh and bones.” Equally distinct are the thinking patterns and emotions of man and woman. The creatorial aspects that differentiate man and woman are basic to the roles that God has given each. This was always the intent of God, and He gives instructions in His Word to confirm His actions in creation.
Man was God’s crowning point in the creation. “God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). But there was something that God saw that was not good. “The Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18).
Isn’t it beautiful to see that God conceived the idea of relationship? Adam was placed as head over all the creation and the creatures within the new world. If dominance in itself were all-fulfilling, Adam wouldn’t have needed Eve. God knew Adam’s need before he was conscious of it. Someone of Adam’s own kind was needed to share his dominion in this new world. Adam needed a help meet that was suitable to him in this new creation. It was all God’s idea to give Eve to Adam. He said, “I will make him a help meet for him.” Eve brought a “completeness” to Adam and a dimension to his being that was not to be found in the rest of the creation. Thus, her way of coming into existence was different from any other being. She was taken from Adam’s side. God initiated this intimacy and interconnection between them. Did not God Himself delight in that moment when Adam opened his eyes after his deep sleep and saw the beautiful woman before him? “They shall be one flesh” was God’s pronouncement of their relationship together. The qualities of their distinctness combine to form a “whole.” Eve was the last piece of creation that completed the whole. In the Epistle to the Ephesians, the Apostle Paul tells us that this was a “great mystery” hidden in God from the past eternity. Christ would come, and the blood which was shed from His pierced side would be the basis for redeeming His bride, “a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle.” It is such an awesome thought that “the church, which is His body,” is “the fullness of Him that filleth all in all”! How could it be that fallen and destitute man would, by the grace and purpose of God, have such a portion! This thought alone should be enough to clarify where we stand before God. But the reality is that many times it isn’t.
The Mundane
The mundane is absorbing and repetitive. It takes away from where we would like to be or from what we would like to do. What woman would prefer doing laundry over going to the coffee shop with some Christian friends, or having the luxury of free time to ponder a problem? What woman wouldn’t like to find time to express herself in an art form, whether it be to play the piano, write in a journal, paint a picture, sew a quilt, pick out a new fabric for an old chair, tweak a recipe that has been in the mind, or decide what flowers should go where in the yard? The mundane is absorbing and repetitive, and, worse yet, it is always THERE. But the mundane cannot take from us who we are. In fact, it is in the mundane that we end up expressing who we are. Think of Ruth, who woke up early, gleaned all day, beat out the grain, and probably fell asleep exhausted. Think of the Shunamite who thought about and provided for the needs of God’s prophet, yet refused favors in order to “dwell among [her] own people.” Think of Priscilla, who in company with her husband, pulled the promising young man Apollos aside to “expound ... unto him the way of God more perfectly.” Think of Dorcas who was greatly missed for her quiet work of mending and sewing. And (if you would allow me to go on!) think of Esther who risked her life for the good of God’s people. Think of Jedidah who certainly must have taught her young son Josiah to fear the Lord. Which of these women did what they did because they thought they would be mentioned in God’s holy Word? Which of these women did what they did because they thought someone would praise them? And, lastly, which of these things could have been done better by a man? Perhaps some of them could have been done by a man, but not with the quality that our gender and its sensitivity supplies. Sisters, the mundane is the backbone of our faith when it is performed for the eye of God! Could it be that acceptance of the “mundane” is an integral part of restoring the “missing piece” that completes the circle?
The Virtuous Woman
We read about the “virtuous woman” in Proverbs 31:28-29. These verses speak of the praise she received for what she did, the acts she performed. Verse 30 tells us who she was. She was a woman that feared the Lord. Verse 31 tells us the results of her life. Her acts were the result of who she was. She was not shoved into a role and then responded to it; rather, she performed a role because of who she was. In the list of things she did in verses 10-27, were some of these things mundane to her? I don’t think so. She was virtuous. She did them before the eye of God. Rise up, sisters. Look well to your household and your assembly. Reject favor as deceitful. Fear the Lord.
Single Women
May I speak a word to the sisters that for one reason or another find themselves outside of the category of “married with kids”? I am talking to the single sisters that would long to fall into the category above. I am talking to the widowed sisters whose “Adam” is with the Lord. I am talking to the divorced sisters who are sincerely wondering where everything went wrong and are trying to piece together their broken lives. Does your gender, what you were created before God, have no “segment” to make up the “whole”? Do you really believe that? No doubt you feel this way sometimes. But do you really believe that God has no “segment” for you? The deceiver that was from the beginning even now may be whispering to you, “Yea, hath God said?” The recipe remains the same for you as for the “married with kids.” The backbone of faith is found in carrying through the mundane before the eyes of God. Your recipe may be more complicated. You might have to make some substitutions in the ingredients, but what comes out will be uniquely your own. God loves you. Your feminine being has had value to Him from the beginning, from eternity past. The paradise of Eden was lonely without you. God will never leave you nor forsake you. Develop your recipe in the confidence of His love.
bpb
A Meek and Quiet Spirit
(from a sister, for my fellow sisters)
Let’s read together 1 Peter 3, verses 1-6.
For many years I have had the words “a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” underlined in my Bible. In fact, they were underlined long before I was married. When I felt my opinions were becoming too strong, I would pull myself up short and more or less slink back to that verse (and others I had marked about meekness), to try to get myself back into “my place.” I realize now that this was not really having a meek and gentle spirit. A couple of years ago a sister shared a most helpful book with me, and I would like pass on some thoughts from its meditations.
“The word translated ‘meek,’ or ‘gentle,’ is the Greek word ‘praus.’ It literally means power that is under control or power that is submitted or surrendered. In our English language we think of meekness and gentleness as actions, but in the Greek these words refer more to the condition of the mind and heart. In a worldly sense, a strong woman is forceful, but in a Biblical sense a strong woman is submitted to the leadership in her life. We see the Lord Jesus as a man, meek and gentle ... but powerless? By no means. When He stood silent before Pilate, was He powerless? No, He was in complete control of the moment, as He was fully submitted to His Father.
“The word translated ‘quiet’ is the Greek word ‘hesuchios.’ It literally means tranquility arising from within, undisturbed, peaceable. Do those words describe me, or would the term ‘stressed out’ be more applicable? We are not, as women, being told to be quiet as in ‘not to talk’; what is described in Scripture is rather a state of being, arising from peace within.”
(Adapted from “A Gentle
and Quiet Spirit”)
Emulating the Example
We would all like to emulate the example set out in this passage. Yet you and I may have so many “what ifs”! Perhaps you say, “What if I don’t have a husband?” or “What if my husband is so very hard to submit to, as he doesn’t lead”? Or on the other end of the spectrum, “What if he leads on, beating his drum and expecting his troops to follow on, no questions asked?” Stop right here, and may we say, “Read your own mail.” Let’s leave our husbands to read theirs. This is for us personally. As sisters in Christ, we all must begin by submitting to One, our Lord Jesus, as our Head. Now what do these verses say to you and me?
First of all, we are to reverence/respect our “head” (Eph. 5:33). This verse refers to a husband, but can also mean a father, a boss at work, or older brothers in the assembly. If it is our husband, God tells us that our reverence to him will in turn bring about his love to us. In our passage in 1 Peter, we see that the husband can be won “without words”! That is really something to tell the woman, when her gender is noted for “words,” and she usually has such a desire to share and talk things out! And what then replaces the words? Here we must deal with something that is not popular in a day of feminism — an exhortation as to our dress and deportment.
The Testimony of Deportment
The man has been given the place of leadership in creation, whether in the world, in the home, or in the assembly. Do we as women fade into insignificance then? No. Here is the special place we have. Our testimony to the world is our deportment, which includes our dress, and our “inner man,” the gentle and kind spirit we display in reverencing our husbands and in going about our everyday tasks. We can display all this from a place of submission. This is an honor! Does this mean we are unkempt and dowdy? No, every wife seeks to please her husband and look beautiful for him. But if the inner spirit is right with God, that which is outward and seen by the world will be in keeping. I admit that it is often hard in these days to go shopping and find what we really want to wear and what would be pleasing to our Lord. But let us not settle for the articles put on display for those who do not have a new life that desires to submit to and please God. A meek and quiet spirit will not dress in a provocative and inappropriate manner. And remember, this is in God’s sight of “great price” ... very valuable.
A wife conducting herself in this manner will likely have the ear of her husband. Respect gains respect. Happy is the home where each accepts loving, constructive criticism from the other.
Mr. and Mrs. Peter
As I pondered this passage, I began to think of the disciple that the Lord used to put it into print for us. He used Peter! We might say, “Of all people to be talking about meek and quiet spirits!” But we do know that Peter had a wife (Matthew 8:14). In fact, Peter is the only one of the Lord’s followers that we are told had a wife. How interesting are the details of Scripture! I think of Peter’s wife, at home and in the background, while her rough and ready, perhaps brash and outspoken, impulsive husband accompanies the Lord during His earthly ministry. The Bible does a wonderful job of bringing its people to life in every dimension.
So we see Mrs. Peter quietly remaining in the backwater. But then one day she has the privilege of having the Saviour in her home in a time of great need. Her mother was sick and she received the blessing of the Saviour’s healing touch. While the Lord is working with and working on her husband, He does not forget the needs of his spouse. He delights to give us encouragement and the comfort of His presence. The Lord was doing a great work in her husband’s heart and character. The surgery must have been very painful for Peter. He was self-confident, he flashed his sword and went on to deny his Lord three times and then weep bitterly. Perhaps he was not the easiest man to have been married to? But there was repentance and restoration. What a changed man came off God’s operating table.
Wives and sisters in Christ, we need to do what God has asked of us. Trust Him; He will look after the rest. We can help our husbands most and be the greatest influence on those around us by being the woman God asks us to be.
In this short epistle, Peter uses the word “precious” five times. Does that sound like the burly fisherman who always seemed to have his own agenda? The Lord would not have used him to give us sisters these special instructions if his own house were not in order. I love his words to his fellow brothers in verse 7 concerning wives: “Heirs together of the grace of life.” Precious!
I like to picture Peter with his arm around his wife as he says, “Heirs together.” I look forward to meeting this meek and gentle unnamed lady someday. I’m sure it will be very soon.
“Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of Thy peace.”
(J. G. Whittier)
cph
Her Hands - a Tribute to Mom
“She ... worketh willingly with her hands” (Prov. 31:13).
Since she was left fatherless at the age of ten, and even before that, her hands have worked diligently and willingly for her family. Beginning with the care of the house for her mother and brothers, her hands have worked without stopping all of her life. Her hands have rocked cradles, changed diapers, wiped runny noses, bandaged cuts and bruises, wiped tears, and administered necessary discipline. Her hands have scrubbed floors, washed windows, weeded gardens, washed clothes and driven her sons around on their paper routes. Her hands have never been idle. Beginning with the care of the house for her widowed mother and ending with the loving and tender care of that same mother, her hands have worked willingly all of her life.
“She layeth her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the distaff” (Prov. 31:19).
Her hands have stitched and sewn, patched and mended, embroidered, appliqued and beautified more garments than could ever be counted. Her hands have fashioned clothes for a granddaughter who was between sizes and a daughter-in-law who was heavily pregnant. Her hands have lovingly made doll clothes for small granddaughters and just as lovingly adorned pillows for daughters and quilts for small great-grandchildren. Her hands have patiently demonstrated her sewing know-how to her granddaughters. Her hands have taken over and completed sewing projects begun and never finished by less skillful hands. Her hands have made curtains and bedspreads and aprons without number for others.
“She stretcheth out her hand to the poor, yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy” (Prov. 31:20).
Her hands have fashioned clothing for the poor, and often in cases of need, her hands have quietly written out a check and unobtrusively slipped it into the recipient’s hand with a hug and a “no need for thanks.” Her hands have peeled mountains of vegetables and produced many pots of soup which have found their way to appreciative people. Her hands have prepared meals — thousands of them — for family, for friends and for the stranger who was in need.
Her hands now show that they have worked hard for many, many years and have acquired some aches and pains. Her hands are more dear than ever to all of us.
We love you, Mom.
gehr
Devotedness of Women
The woman who anointed the Lord (Matt. 26:7) was not informed of the circumstances about to happen, nor was she a prophetess. But the approach of that hour of darkness was felt by one whose heart was fixed on Jesus. ... But the perfectness of Jesus, which drew out the enmity, drew out the affection in her, and she (so to speak) reflected the perfectness in the affection, and as the perfectness was put in action and drawn to light by the enmity, so was her affection. Thus Christ’s heart could not but meet it. Jesus, by reason of this enmity, was still more the Object that occupied a heart which, doubtless led of God, instinctively apprehended what was going on.
But yet a few words more on the woman who anointed Him. The effect of having the heart fixed in affection on Jesus is shown in her in a striking manner. Occupied with Him, she is sensible of His situation. She feels what affects Him, and this causes her affection to act in accordance with the special devotedness which that situation inspires.
Opposition
As hatred against Him rose up to murderous intent, the spirit of devotedness to Him grows in answer to it in her. Consequently, with the tact of devotedness, she does precisely that which was suited to His situation. The poor woman was not intelligently aware of this, yet she did the thing that was meet. Her value for the Person of Jesus, so infinitely precious to her, made her quick-sighted with respect to that which was passing in His mind. In her eyes, Christ was invested with all the interest of His circumstances, and she lavishes upon Him that which expressed her affection. Fruit of this sentiment, her action met the circumstances, and although it was but the instinct of her heart, Jesus gives it all the value which His perfect intelligence could attribute to it, embracing at once the sentiments of her heart and the coming events.
But this testimony of affection and devotedness to Christ brings out the selfishness, the want of heart, of the others. They blame the poor woman. Sad proof (to say nothing of Judas) how little the knowledge of that which concerns Jesus necessarily awakens suitable affection in our hearts! But the narrative goes on. Some poor women — to whom devotedness often gives, on God’s part, more courage than to men in their more responsible and busy position — were standing near the cross, beholding what was done to Him they loved (Matt. 27:55-56).
Men’s Part and Women’s
The part that women take in all this history is very instructive, especially to them. The activity of public service, that which may be called “work,” belongs naturally to men (all that appertains to what is generally termed ministry), although women share a very precious activity in private. But there is another side of Christian life which is particularly theirs, and that is personal and loving devotedness to Christ. It is a woman who anointed the Lord while the disciples murmured; women who were at the cross when all except John had forsaken Him; women who came to the sepulchre and who were sent to announce the truth to the apostles who had gone after all to their own home; women who ministered to the Lord’s need. And indeed this goes further. Devotedness in service is perhaps the part of man, but the instinct of affection, that which enters more intimately into Christ’s position, and is thus more intimately in connection with His sentiments, is closer communion with the sufferings of His heart — this is the part of woman — assuredly a happy part.
The activity of service for Christ puts man a little out of this position, at least if the Christian is not watchful. Everything has, however, its place. I speak of that which is characteristic, for there are women who have served much and men who have felt much. Note also here, what I believe I have remarked, that this clinging of heart to Jesus is the position where the communications of true knowledge are received. The first full gospel is announced to the poor woman that was a sinner, who washed His feet (Luke 7), the embalming for His death to Mary (John 12:3), our highest position to Mary Magdalene (John 20), and the communion Peter desired to John who was in His bosom (John 13). And here the women have a large share.
J. N. Darby
Submission
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22).
Here we have instruction for the wives. It is a piece of advice directed right to their hearts and souls, though it may often be difficult to carry out. But as is often the case, we need to read the verses that precede the admonition. They give us the key to being able to follow through on this command. Yes, that is what it is, a command!
Verse 19 tells us to be “speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.” That does not mean having the radio on, or even necessarily a CD of good music. There is nothing like a song of praise from our lips and hearts. An older sister once made the comment that she kept a hymnbook propped up on her kitchen window sill over her sink so that she could sing as she worked there.
Verse 20 says, “Giving thanks always for all things.” Not always easy. But a thankful spirit is a prerequisite for our happiness and God’s blessing in our lives.
Verse 21 speaks of “submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” This is the simple act of putting others before ourselves and honoring anyone in a position of authority over us.
Having read, digested and walked in verses 19-21, a wife can proceed to verse 22 in the confidence that the Lord will give her the wisdom and grace to carry out the submission that is required.
It is interesting to notice that once again the admonition regarding the wife’s submission in Colossians 3:16-18 follows this same pattern. The order is there for our blessing and instruction. God’s pattern is always perfect and given to us in His wisdom and love.
cph
Beauty and Adornment
The story of Esther, often admired by readers young and old, takes on added significance today when women, like Vashti, disregard the role and authority belonging to men. Vashti’s blatant public insubordination was considered a bad example for all and led to her being removed from being queen. This resulted in an opportunity for Esther to come into prominence because of her beauty, submission and godly conduct. She pleased the king with her meekness and beauty and “obtained favor” with all the people. Esther’s beauty was magnified by her meek conduct and stood out in contrast to others. The story is prophetic, revealing what will bring about the removal of the Gentiles from their present place of favor before God. Those of us who are Gentiles have been blessed by God. This blessing to the Gentiles during the present time, as stated in Romans 11:18-25, is a consequence of the Jews’ unbelief. But this Scripture further warns the Gentiles to “be not high-minded,” lest they be removed and the Jews brought back into blessing again. As we, who are the salt of the earth, see this scenario developing in our society, it ought to make us abhor any form of disregard for authority, knowing the final consequences — the end of the present dispensation — the “fullness of the Gentiles” (vs. 25). These moral conditions are then, to the anointed eye, an indication that the Lord’s coming is near.
Feasting and Fasting
King Ahasuerus made a feast, first for the princes and nobles and then for the whole city—both small and great. He was given to the enjoyment of his wealth and kingdom. The queen also made a feast for the women of the royal house, and while feasting in affluence and pleasure, she refused the request of the king to come to his feast. It is difficult to judge who was most out of line in this, but as is often the case, the woman suffers the most. Vashti was removed from being queen for this, but it is ironic that this is also a prophecy of how the rule of Ahasuerus, and that of all Gentile rulers, will terminate. The meek, submissive behavior of Esther vividly stands out in these circumstances. How easy it is to fall into the snare of the enjoyment of pleasure and not fulfill what we are called to do. The Lord warns us that this will be the snare at the end of this dispensation. “Take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares. For as a snare shall it come on all them that dwell on the face of the whole earth” (Luke 21:34-35). Feasting, or living for pleasure, is closely related to the turmoil in our society concerning the roles of men and women. May the Lord give us to see these things clearly and avoid the pitfalls.
Later on when Esther was made queen, King Ahasuerus made a feast for her. “Then the king made a great feast unto all his princes and his servants, even Esther’s feast; and he made a release to the provinces, and gave gifts, according to the state of the king.” The giving of gifts and a special release characterize this feast rather than selfish pleasures. Had not Esther set the tone for this kind of feast? When, at the beginning, her time came to go in unto the king, she requested nothing beyond what the chamberlain recommended. She would give of herself, not leaning on props or things of others. What a difference her influence made in the kingdom! Instead of selfish striving, we see the giving of gifts. How important are the words of Paul: “All things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any” (1 Cor. 6:12). Esther proved she would not be brought under the power of living for herself.
Esther’s Adornment
Esther did not come to be queen by default because of her predecessor. She gained it by adorning her outward beauty with the inner adornment of a “meek and quiet spirit.” It was not simply that she was in subjection, but she displayed the “hidden man of the heart” along with her natural beauty. This gave her favor before the king. Even the ungodly see and appreciate this. She continued pleasing others while she was queen, using her position and beauty to serve. Later on, she responded to the call to lay her life on the line to intercede for her people. It was in meekness she entered into the court to request a hearing before the king, not in assertiveness, though it took great courage. First of all, she asks for an opportunity to serve the king: “If it seem good unto the king, let the king and Haman come this day unto the banquet that I have prepared for him” (Esther 5:4). She ingratiates him by first serving before asking what she desired. One act of service was not enough; the second time she added the words, “If I have found favor in the sight of the king, and if it please the king to grant my petition” (vs. 8). It reminds us of the words “grace upon grace.” This very kind and generous service brought out the pride of Haman’s heart, while at the same time the king’s heart was reached. How could he ever say “no” to her afterward? Because of her godly approach to the king, Esther gains two opposite objectives. It reminds us of 2 Corinthians 2:15: “We are unto God a sweet savor of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish: to the one we are the savor of death unto death; and to the other the savor of life unto life.” Her gracious ways with them brought out the best of the best and the worse of the worst. It manifested who was true and who not. No man in the whole kingdom could have done what Esther accomplished by meekly serving with her beauty and adornment.
Souls Won by Godly Conduct
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, that, even if any are disobedient to the word, they may be gained without the word by the conversation of the wives” (1 Peter 3:1 JND). Not all women have a loving and kind husband who treats them well as he should and tells them how much they are loved and appreciated. The case of Esther is very notable in this regard. As we have noticed before, almost everyone was given to living for pleasure. Esther lived in a place where she had to keep her identity secret. She also had a lot of female competition, being one of many that were chosen as candidates to be queen. The Jews were living in a strange country with their temple destroyed. No one even mentions the name of God in the whole book, nor do we ever see anyone praying about the difficulties, though it is likely they prayed when they fasted. But the public testimony of Jehovah as the God of Israel was zero in those days. In these circumstances, what could an orphaned girl do to change the situation? Esther did what no man could ever have done; she counteracted the unchangeable laws of the Medes and Persians, saved her people from annihilation, and succeeded in removing the wicked man Haman. How was it done? By adorning her beauty with good deportment. No preaching; no teaching or dancing — just right living. She changed the world with her good conduct.
Not all those seeking to live in godliness while under hard circumstances may come to see, in this life, such dramatic changes as a result of their life as Esther, but certainly the story is recorded to encourage us to look ahead to the time when the Lord will come, “who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man [and woman] have praise of God” (1 Cor. 4:5).
D. C. Buchanan
Lydia’s Hospitality
“A certain woman named Lydia, a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira, which worshipped God, heard us: whose heart the Lord opened, that she attended unto the things which were spoken of Paul” (Acts 16:14).
When we ponder the wonderful stories of the early believers, whose testimonies and witness are recorded for us, we can see why God has seen fit to put them in the Bible to build us up.
Dorcas, Peter’s wife’s mother, and Phebe are a few believing women whose lives will help us along, but Lydia — her hospitality and her willingness to help others — is an especially good example. We find Lydia’s life recorded in Acts 16:14,40. A seller of purple from Thyatira, Lydia lived in Philippi and worshipped God. She heard Paul and the others with him, perhaps notably Timothy and Silas, and “attended unto the things which were spoken of Paul.” She was baptized, along with her household, and her very next action, as far as the Scriptures tell us, was to constrain the brethren to come into her house and stay there.
Lydia opened her house to the needs of the brethren; she had worked with her family so that they too were baptized and now besought visiting brethren to stay with her. We know that the Lord said, “The Son of Man hath not where to lay His head,” but Lydia was eager to see that Paul and the others had a place to stay.
It was in Philippi that Paul and Silas were thrown into prison for healing a woman afflicted with an evil spirit. While in jail, they were singing when the earth shook, the door to their cell flew open, and they had the opportunity to flee — but chose to remain and preach the gospel to their jailor. Afterward, Paul and the others left and went to Lydia’s house again.
It is a sweet thought that before their troubles, Lydia had the chance to serve them, and now, afterward, they went back to where they had felt welcomed and used this opportunity to comfort the brethren.
Lydia had a special privilege: She could look back in later years and remember entertaining Paul and Silas — two men that God had chosen for His work — sitting with them and hearing their ministry, and having the joy of offering them a room in her house. The results were lasting: Lydia was the first convert recorded from Thyatira and her hospitality and zeal for the things of God are written down for all of time.
We too need to be ready to open our homes and entertain the brethren when we can. The brethren are cared for, but, as with Lydia, we are the ones who profit.
H. Habeck
I Will Make Him a Helpmate, His Like
When God created man, He said, “Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth (Gen. 1:26). God clearly had in His counsels the creation of both man and woman, although the details are not given until the next chapter. When we read of those divine counsels, we find that the Lord God said that it was not good that the man should be alone; thus He would create him a “helpmate, his like [or counterpart]” (Gen. 2:18 JND).
It is significant that God took a rib out of Adam’s side, from which He made Eve. First of all, Adam’s bride was part of him — “bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.” How could he help but love her? Second, it was a rib that was used, no doubt indicating that the woman was to be at his side, near his heart, and under his protection. Finally, she was a type of the church — that which Christ loved and for which He died. For this reason husbands are exhorted to “love their wives as their own bodies” (Eph. 5:28).
The fact that Scripture uses the term “helpmate” or “helpmeet” to describe the woman shows us how she was meant to function in her relationship with the man. She was to complement him — to fill in areas where he was deficient, to “round him out,” and to make him complete. God in His wisdom has created the woman and fitted her for this role.
Today’s Changing Society
For some years in the world of today, at least in the West, man’s wisdom has tried to change all this. Women are told that not only can they do anything a man can do, but that they should do it, for their own fulfillment and the supposed good of society. They are told that they no longer need to regard the home as their primary place of service, but rather that they should seek to function in the world in every way that a man functions. The watchword has been, “You can have it all,” meaning that a woman should be able to have a successful career outside of her home, yet still be able to have a fulfilling marriage, raise children, and have a happy home life. Many have tried to do this, but as we might well expect, the results have not been good. Marriages, children and home life have suffered in consequence. Children have been left at daycare centers instead of being cared for, disciplined and given moral teaching by a loving mother, while husbands often flounder, trying to fill the nurturing role for which God has fitted women. Divorce rates have skyrocketed, and crime rates for teenagers (and even younger children!) have increased dramatically.
Recently Anne-Marie Slaughter, formerly a high official in the U.S. State Department, wrote an article in an issue of the Atlantic Magazine entitled, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.” Here is a short excerpt from that article:
“Eighteen months into my job as the first woman director of policy planning at the State Department, a foreign-policy job that traces its origins back to George Kennan, I found myself in New York, at the United Nations’ annual assemblage of every foreign minister and head of state in the world. On a Wednesday evening, President and Mrs. Obama hosted a glamorous reception at the American Museum of Natural History. I sipped champagne, greeted foreign dignitaries, and mingled. But I could not stop thinking about my 14-year-old son, who had started eighth grade three weeks earlier and was already resuming what had become his pattern of skipping homework, disrupting classes, failing math, and tuning out any adult who tried to reach him. ... I was increasingly aware that the feminist beliefs on which I had built my entire career were shifting under my feet.”
While the remainder of the article makes it clear that the author does not in any way embrace a Biblical view of men and women, yet it is evident from her comments that even the world is beginning to realize that a departure from the wisdom of God results in bad consequences.
A Helpmate
What then does it mean to be a “helpmate”? First of all, Scripture is clear that a woman’s primary place of influence and service is within the framework of the home. Paul could exhort the older women to “be in behavior as becometh holiness,” so that they in turn might teach the young women to be “discreet, chaste, keepers at home” (Titus 2:3-5). Paul could say to Timothy, “I will therefore that the younger [women] marry, bear children, rule the house, give no occasion to the adversary in respect of reproach” (1 Tim. 5:14 JND). All through the Word of God this pattern is given to us by example. As another has said, God gave the woman a mind and intelligence equal to that of a man, because He wanted some of the best brains in the home.
This means that a woman may fully develop her mind and use her God-given intelligence to full advantage in the home environment. She may wish to get a good education, and Scripture does not raise any barrier to this, if done with the mind of the Lord. When we read of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, we find her directing her home in a very able manner. She saw to all the needs of her household, even bringing “her food from afar.” She also exercised her business ability, for it says that “she considereth a field, and buyeth it” (vs. 16). She was able to make money, for she sold some of what was made in her house — “she maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant” (vs. 24). But she also “stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy” (vs. 20). As a result, “the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her” (vs. 11), and “her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land” (vs. 23). It is her husband who occupies the public place of judgment in the gates, while she, in running the home effectively, complements him and allows him to function well in his position. All is in perfect harmony.
Examples of Helpmates
We find many examples of “helpmates” in Scripture. Jochebed, the mother of Moses, faithfully instructed Moses in his tender years and also took him “away” from all that might spoil her training and teaching. When she was compelled to give him up to Pharaoh’s daughter, the Lord honored her faith. Likewise Hannah carefully brought up Samuel for the Lord, yet in faith “lent him to the Lord” while he was still very young. Again, the Lord honored her faith, in spite of the evil that was present in the priesthood at that time. While the term is used primarily in connection with Eve’s relationship with her husband Adam, yet surely the privilege of helping is not restricted to a woman’s husband. Mary and Martha were noted for their hospitality, and it is evident that our Lord Himself found their home a haven from all that occupied Him in His Father’s business. In this way, they were fellow helpers even to the Lord Himself. Phebe was described by Paul as “a succorer of many, and of myself also” (Rom. 16:2). In the course of her service, she was a help even to Paul. A woman is often equipped to sense needs among others and to offer to help in situations where men might not be as sensitive. If I may speak of myself, my wife is my primary helpmate, but there have been many times when other godly sisters have been practical helpers along the way. They often fill the role of being “given to hospitality,” as were Mary and Martha.
Sisters, do not abrogate your position as a helpmate. First of all, it is a dishonor and an affront to the Lord Himself, who has given you that position and fitted you for it. Second, it does not work and only brings trouble and difficulty into whatever relationships may be involved, including the other career. Third, while it may seem to give you some temporary gratification, it will ultimately make you unhappy, as it did Anne-Marie Slaughter. Godly women in their proper place will find that they are “daughters as corner-columns, sculptured after the fashion of a palace” (Psa. 144:12 JND). Morally, spiritually and physically, they will function as God wishes them to and will command love and respect accordingly.
W. J. Prost
The Service of Love
Father, I know that all my life
Is portioned out for me;
The changes that will surely come,
I do not fear to see;
I ask Thee for a present mind,
Intent on pleasing Thee.
I ask Thee for a thoughtful love,
Through constant watching wise,
To meet the glad with joyful smiles
And to wipe the weeping eyes,
And a heart at leisure from itself
To soothe and sympathize.
I would not have the restless will
That hurries to and fro,
Seeking for some great thing to do
Or secret thing to know;
I would be treated as a child
And guided where to go.
And if some things I do not ask,
Thy will allots to me,
Still be my spirit filled the more
With grateful love to Thee,
More careful — less to serve Thee much
Than please Thee perfectly.
In service which Thy love appoints
There are no bonds for me;
My secret heart is taught “the truth”
That makes Thy children “free”;
A life of self-renouncing love
Is a life of liberty.
Author unknown