| “A wholesome [gentle] tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness [crookedness] therein is a breach [break] in the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4). |
| The tree of life is mentioned a number of times in the Bible, and it is mentioned four times in the book of Proverbs. Here it is connected with gentleness when we speak. Why is this? It is because the tree of life is really a picture of the Lord Jesus, and when He spoke, it was with gentleness. Yes, He could speak very seriously to people when He needed to, and on at least one occasion he looked on the Jewish rulers with anger, but it was always with real love and care for them. |
| The second part of our verse today reminds us of something that is very important. When we speak, it is not only the words that we use that affect other people; it is the spirit in which we say something that is even more important. Those who have studied this subject tell us that when we speak, only 10% of the message comes from the actual words we say. About 40% of the message we give to others is the tone of voice we use, and the other 50% is the “body language” we use. What do we mean by body language? It is the look on our face, the way we hold our hands and arms, and even the way we use our legs and feet. All of these combine to give a message to the other person. We can give a peaceable message by our body language (a smile and a hug), or we can give an angry, threatening message (arms crossed, feet apart, face scowling!). We can make other people feel that we really love them, or we can give them the distinct feeling that “I don’t like you.” |
| To use gentleness and love in speaking to others is to be a “tree of life” — like the Lord Jesus. This does not mean that we never say anything to reach someone’s conscience. We do need to speak seriously to people sometimes, and to remind them of God’s claims. The Lord Jesus did this in Matthew 23, when he gave a strong rebuke to the scribes and Pharisees for being hypocrites. (A hypocrite is someone who pretends to be good, but then does bad things on the side, hoping no one will notice.) But He said these things in love, wanting them to repent and be saved. |
| Let us all remember that part of our message to others is the way we speak and look, nor just the words we say. |
