MARIA W― was the youngest of a large family. Whilst a babe she became an orphan, and was brought up by relatives with their own daughter. Her own mother was a Christian, and a woman of prayer; but her relatives made temporal things their first concern. Religion was all very well in its place, ―very right for Sundays, but the other six days it must be secondary.
How varied are man’s thoughts of what he calls “religion.” It is something distasteful to his own heart, something to be had as little as possible of, and yet something man cannot die without. The most common definition of it, according to human thought, is that man has to be reconciled to God by doing his best, keeping up a moral reputation, saying prayers, occasionally reading the Bible, and going to some so-called place of worship on Sundays. Some go even a little further, and add to this the monthly taking of the sacrament; and all with a vain hope that these things will at last make them fit for heaven, and ensure a happy deathbed. But mark, dear reader, in all this Christ has no place, and man has all the place. In it there is no sense of the need for, or value of, Christ’s precious blood, which cleanseth from all sin. Some there are who look upon it as a kind of make-weight, to give balance in the scale with their own merits. But God will never save on the ground of human goodness; the whole history of man, from Adam to the Cross, tells out his utter ruin by sin. At Calvary we see his moral end before God; but there too shine out the riches of God’s grace, in the offering up of His beloved Son to put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself. For four thousand years man had been tried by God, in every possible way, to prove what was in man. He had been tried in innocence, tried without law, and tried under law; but with every test he had completely broken down, and ended in the rejection of God’s Son from heaven, who had come to seek and to save the lost.
But to return to Maria W―. The religion of which I have spoken was that in which she was trained from her earliest years. When about twenty-eight years of age she married one who had watched and valued her outward moral character. Neither was this less to be observed when she became the mother of seven children. Her great desire was to train them up according to her own thoughts of what was right. And He who knew her heart was about to fulfill her desires according to His thoughts.
Her home was in a remote part of the country. Rural simplicity characterized the home life and training of her children. On Sundays they drove to church, and at home read the Lessons, Psalms, Collects, and Epistles and Gospel for the day. Further than this she knew not how to carry out her best desires for them; and how indeed could she, when she herself was still a stranger to God’s Christ? But His love was set upon her, and His grace yet waiting to abound toward her in her salvation. Truly God did approve of all her moral excellence, and, I believe, loved her, as we read Christ did the young ruler who was hindered by his possessions from following Him. Yet not that which she was outwardly could in the least degree put away her sins. “All have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” “There is none righteous, no, not one.” (Rom. 3.) This is true of all in God’s sight, ― “there is no difference.”
About fifteen years after her marriage an elder sister came to visit her. They had been parted as children, and had seen but little of each other hitherto. This sister was a Christian, and the Lord used her stay in blessing to one after another of the elder children. Only dimly had she hold herself of the perfection and fullness of that wondrous work accomplished at Calvary, but Christ was her only hope of salvation from judgment. How it rejoiced her heart when the Spirit of God taught her, years after this, that Christ had not only died for her, but that she had died with Him, and risen with Him, and was now united to Him by the Holy Ghost.
Maria W―and her husband considered that her sister carried religion too far. “To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God, embraced the whole duty of man,” they said.
The excellence of these things who would attempt to deny? But note, dear reader, it was all on the ground of human doings and man’s duty. Who that has not been born again, ―that has not become a new creature in Christ, can do justice, or love mercy, according to God’s thoughts, and much less walk humbly with Him? It is not in man to do this as a child of Adam, otherwise he would not need a Saviour, for he would have that wherein to appear before God. It is the blood (and that alone) that maketh atonement for the soul.
Years rolled on, and the husband became failing in health. Many were the fervent prayers offered by some of his children for clear evidence of his conversion before his removal. The clergyman came, and administered the sacrament; but there was no rest, no pardon, for the soul in this. Increasing feebleness told too plainly that the sands of life had almost run out. At this time one visited him who delighted to proclaim God’s blessed way of saving poor sinners through the precious blood of Christ. He read John 3, dwelling much on “He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life.” Earnestly he pressed the word “hath,” as showing eternal life to be a present thing, to be known now by believing on the Lord Jesus Christ. The Spirit of God graciously applied the word in peace-giving power to the sick one’s soul. The past life of rectitude was let go now. The word of God had spoken, Man must be born again; the Son of Man must be lifted up on the cross; and he that believeth on Hint hath everlasting life. Oh, what rest! and that in God’s beloved Son. Referring to the servant of the Lord who visited him, he said, “I would like him to come again.” He lived four miles away, but was once again permitted to stand beside the dying man’s bed, and hear him extol the grace that had saved him. A few days later the husband departed to be with Christ.
But what of the faithful wife, whose life had been one of untiring devotedness? Was she too saved? Not as yet could she let go her own righteousness. Was all she had been as a wife and a, mother, and all her kindness to the poor, and readiness to serve everyone, not to go to help to save her? How could she be a poor lost sinner? And thus measuring herself in her own sight, instead of God’s, she justified herself in His sight, and refused to be justified freely by His grace. She could have adopted the language of Job, “My righteousness I hold fast, and will not let it go; my heart shall not reproach me so long as I live” (27:6). But mark the change in Job when the word of God had spoken to him, and he saw himself in God’s presence, “Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer thee? I will lay mine hand upon my mouth” (40:4). Job had done with justifying himself then. All the perfectness of his walk and ways he lets go when his eyes are opened to see himself in God’s sight. Then self must altogether go, and he exclaims, “Now mine eye seeth thee: wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (42:5, 6).
It is only in the wondrous light of God’s presence that we see, not only what we have done (our guilt), but there too is disclosed to us what we are, ―lost, born in sin, and possessing within us hearts “deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.” Well may it be added, “Who can know it?” (Jer. 17:99The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9)). It was just Job’s repentance that Maria W―needed to learn, even the judgment of herself as to what she was before God. Scarcely had a year elapsed after her husband’s death, when she was suddenly struck down with an attack of general paralysis. Total helplessness, and weakness of the most intense kind, left scarcely a ray of hope that she would not succumb to the exhaustion from which there seemed no power to rally.
Well may it be written, “Power belongeth unto God.” Those of her children still about her pleaded earnestly with God that she might be spared, and her soul saved. One night, when each breath seemed to be almost the last, three of them knelt around her bed, and the Lord heard their cry. Gradually she became a little stronger, and then followed a consciousness of sensation in the hands and feet. Later on she was able to stand with support, and weeks after to walk quite well. Still she clung firmly to her own righteousness, working it out more diligently than before. Often, when she had been missing a long time, one of her daughters would go in search of her to her bedroom; but she was not there, but in an adjoining dressing-room, either reading her prayer-book or upon her knees. Often at this time she was known to weep over Romans 3 when read aloud in her hearing. “There is none righteous, no, not one.” This, and the following verses ending with “there is no difference: for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God,” she could not receive.
Another year passed away. She was delicate, but able to take a daily drive, and to walk about the house and garden. Her eldest son felt deeply concerned about her soul, and arranged a few days visit home. He remained at home with her on the Sunday evening and read to her. Turning to Isaiah 64:6,6But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. (Isaiah 64:6) he read, “We are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.” Then he enumerated all she had done, and showed her what God’s estimate of it all was, ―nothing, in His sight, but filthy rags! What should we do with such? Cast them away. So does He; He will not have one rag of our righteousness. Salvation is alone by grace. Ephesians 2 plainly shows this. Other scriptures were read to show how God has but one way of saving sinners. “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us.” It is written, “The entrance of thy word giveth light;” and thus at last, by His grace, this dear seeking soul bowed to what God had said, and took her true place before Him as a poor lost sinner. Her confidence in self was gone; she saw, and believed in Christ as her Saviour. Oh! the blessed peace and rest that followed, and that lighted up her countenance. Hitherto, whilst trying to climb to heaven by her own works, she had borne the outward impress of the inward unrest.
The following day her son was leaving. He first went a drive along with his mother, and resumed the conversation of the past evening. It was his delight to hear again from her lips the assurance that she was resting alone on the finished work of Christ. A few more days passed of unbroken trust, when she was again suddenly seized with paralysis. Whilst waiting the arrival of the doctor, she said with difficulty, her speech being much affected, “I am so thankful dear J―came last Sunday, for now I know all my sins are forgiven through the precious blood of Christ.” A further seizure on the Sunday took away the use of both legs and the left arm, and internally affected her seriously. Her absent children were telegraphed for, and during many weeks scarcely left her bedside, as she lay there on the brink of the grave, expecting herself, as well as those about her, that she might depart any moment. But the sting of death was gone, and the unclouded prospect of being soon with the Lord her hope. How her affections now flowed out after His people To two whom she had known in her self-righteous days she sent messages, saying, “Tell them, if I had known the Lord sooner I should have loved them better.”
However, it was not the will of God at this time to take her. One of her children had specially prayed that she might be raised up, if it was the Lord’s will. The scripture was at once brought to mind, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God.” And His way of glorifying His own name, was not in her recovery, but in seven long years of helplessness and suffering, in which she, and those about her, learned what it is to depend alone upon the living God. Often would she say, “Come and let us have a little prayer,” for this, or that; and if it was to relieve her bodily suffering, when relief came, she would propose a time of thanksgiving, saying, “We must thank Him.” And thus often in the night-watches prayer and praise ascended from disciplined hearts, taught by Him “who giveth songs in the night”
As the eighth year of her illness was advancing she became much worse. Alarming symptoms set in, which at once summoned those of her children away from her. But before they arrived the power of speech was gone; the hand of each was pressed with affectionate recognition, and the muscles of the face moved with emotion. Then all around seemed unobserved, as she lay gazing upward, and her right hand frequently raised, as was her custom in prayer. Gradually unconsciousness came on, and in a heavy sleep she passed away, to be forever with the Lord. Long had she been yearning to go. Sometimes she would inquire, Would it be right to ask the Lord to take me? but the reply, that He would have His own right time, encouraged her to wait with patience.
And now, dear reader, if unsaved, may this true and simple narrative of the triumph of God’s grace speak to your heart. If you are one of those trusting to your own goodness, may the voice of God be heard by you in the very scriptures the Spirit of God applied to those dear souls of whom I have written. It is written of the Lord Jesus, “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved” (Acts 4:1212Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. (Acts 4:12)).
L.