Both αἰτέω and ἐρωτάω are translated ‘to ask,' and in many passages rightly; but some lose much of their force by the translation not preserving a very real distinction between them. αἰτέω is supplicatory, as of an inferior to a superior ― of a beggar seeking alms, Acts 3:2 (ver. 3, where ἐρωτάω is used, would perhaps indicate a change in tone from the accustomed begging to the more peremptory demand); of a child asking from his parents, Matt. 7:9; and the disciples from God and the Father. 1 John 3:22; {vi 30272-30273}Jas. 1:5, 6. John uses the word προσεύχομαι for αἰτέω ‘prayer,' and never the ordinary word, προσεύχομαι nor προσευχή ‘prayer,' save in {vi 30788;30831-30832}Rev. 5:8; 8:3, 4.
ἐρωτάω, on the other hand, carries with it a certain equality or familiarity between those of whom it is used, as of king with king, Luke 14:32. The Lord uses this word of His own asking of the Father, {vi 26685;26753;26769;26775;26780}John 14:16; 16:26; 17:9, 15, 20 ― never αἰτέω. Martha reveals her unconsciousness of the dignity of His person in applying this last to Him (John 11:22), which He never uses Himself.
The passage that has suffered most from the obliteration in the A. V. of the distinction between the words is John 16:23, which seems to substitute prayer to the Father in the name of Christ, for prayer to Christ directly. Whereas the ‘ask' (ἐρωτάω) of the first part of the verse refers to verse 19, "Jesus knew that they were desirous to ask (ἐρωτάω) him." Here the word is used in its ordinary classical sense of ‘question,' not as ‘prayer' at all. The Lord is leading on their hearts, from the hour of travail that was before them in His death, to the dawn of a new and endless day in His resurrection, when they would have no more questions, all difficulties would be solved. There had in fact been two difficulties before them in what the Lord had said in verse 17. Verses 18 to the first clause of 23 complete the Lord's instruction as to the first difficulty. In the latter clause of 23 He takes up their second difficulty, "Because I go to the Father," and unfolds this first of the consequences of His so going, that now they would be able to ‘ask' (αἰτέω) the Father in His name ― to come before the Father in the value of His name as they never had done hitherto, as left to represent Him in the place of His rejection.
Help also may be found as to another passage, where there is confessedly more difficulty in preserving the distinction of the Holy Spirit's use of the two words, namely, 1 John 5:16. In the beginning of the verse αἰτέω is used as in the verses preceding (14, 15) for prayer. To see a brother sin should lead those who know God's holiness to pray that he might not be cut off as to this life under His government: see {vi 28631-28633}1 Cor. 11:30-32. But there are cases where the heart of the intercessor is checked, and the apostle would not have the sense of the gravity of sin weakened in such a case. "There is a sin unto death:" this may be the reason of the check. [Peter could not have prayed for the life of Ananias and Sapphira.] But he adds "I do not say that he shall pray for it." (A. V.) ‘Pray' is here, ἐρωτάω with the same difference from αἰτέω that we have seen, namely, ‘question concerning it.' If there was no question, the apostle would have none raised: "All unrighteousness is sin; and there is a sin not unto death."