TO be Second Wrangler and Smith’s Prizeman, to achieve eminent success in the Senate House, to obtain a Fellowship at Trinity, and be popular as a Mathematical Lecturer stamps the writer of the following letter, which we venture to reproduce in part, as a Than of remarkable intellect and personality.
Let him now speak for himself. He writes:—
“I remember when I first began to read the Bible, and though I was sincerely seeking the truth, I was miserable because I could not believe it. I dare not reject any statement I found there, but I could not fully believe it was true.
“My history was just this: I had read and studied deeply in mathematics, had mastered every fresh subject I entered upon with ease and delight, had become accustomed (as every exact mathematician must do) to investigate and discover fundamental differences between things which seem, to the uninitiated, one and the same; had seen my way into physical astronomy and the higher parts of Newton’s immortal Principia; and had been frequently lost in admiration of his genius till St. Mary’s clock warned me that midnight was passed three hours ago. I had, in fact, as we say, made myself master of dynamics, and become gradually more and more a believer in the unlimited capabilities of my own mind.
“This self-conceited idea was only flattered and fostered by eminent success in the Senate House, and by subsequently obtaining a Fellowship at Trinity, and enjoying very considerable popularity as a mathematical lecturer.
“It would have spared me many an hour of misery in after days had I really felt what I so often said, viz., that the deeper a man went into science the humbler he ought to be, and the more cautious in pronouncing an independent opinion on a subject be had not investigated, or could not thoroughly sift. But, though all this was true, I had yet to learn that this humility in spiritual things is never found in a natural man.
“I took orders, and began to preach; and then, I found out the grand deficit in my theology. I had not the Spirit’s teaching myself, and how could I without it speak ‘in demonstration of the Spirit and of power’?
“In vain did I read Chalmers, Paley, Butler, Gaussen, &c., and determine that, as I had mastered all the other subjects I had grappled with, so I would the Bible, and that I would make myself a believer. I found a poor ignorant old woman in my parish more than a match for me in divine things. I was distressed to find that she was often happy in the evident mercy of the Lord to her, and that she found prayer answered, and that all this was proved sincere by her blameless and harmless walk amongst her neighbors, whilst I, with all my science and investigation, was barren, and unprofitable, and miserable, au unbeliever in heart, and yet not daring to avow it, partly from the fear of man, but more from a certain inward conviction that all my skeptical difficulties would be crushed and leaped over by the experience of the most illiterate Christian.
“I was perfectly ashamed to feel in my mind like Voltaire, Volney or Tom Paine. I could claim no originality for my views, and I found they were no comfort, but a constant source of misery to me.
“It may now be asked how I came ever to view divine truth differently. I desire to ascribe all praise to Him to whom power belongeth; I desire to put my own mouth in the dust, and be ashamed and never open my mouth any more, because of my former unbelief.
“I cannot describe all I passed through, but I desire with humility and gratitude to say, I was made willing in a day of Christ’s power. He melted down my proud heart with His love; He shut my mouth for ever from caviling at any difficulties in the written Word; and one of the first things in which the great change appeared was, that whereas before preaching had been a misery, now it became my delight to be able to say, without a host of skeptical or infidel doubts rushing into my mind— ‘Thus saith the Lord.’
“I am quite certain no natural man can see the things of God, and I am equally certain that he cannot make himself do so. ‘It was the Lord that exalted Moses and Aaron,’ said Samuel; and, ‘By the grace of God, I am what I am,’ said the Apostle Paul; and so in a modified and humble sense, I can truly say.
“It used to be a terrible stumbling-block to me to find so many learned men, so many acute men, so many scientific men—infidels. It is not so now; I see that God has said, ‘Not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble’ (1 Cor. 1:2626For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: (1 Corinthians 1:26)).
“I see, as plainly as it is possible for me to see anything, that no natural man can receive the things of the Spirit of God. Hence I expect to find men of this stamp of intellect coming out boldly with their avowals of unbelief in the written Word of God.
“The only answer I can give to them is this: ‘God has in mercy taught me better’; and never do I sing those beautiful words in the well-known hymn, but I feel my eyes filling with tears of gratitude to the God of all compassion:—
“‘Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God.’
“So it is with me; so it must be with anyone of them, if ever they are to know the truth in its power, or to receive the love of the truth that they may be saved.
“I feel very much for the young of this generation, remembering the conflicts I passed through in consequence of the errors of men of ability.
“A FORMER FELLOW OF TRINITY
COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE.”
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Does not the foregoing letter illustrate, as by this Professor’s personal experience, the following text?—
It shows that no unregenerate intellect, however profound, is a safe guide to follow. It explains how men of fine intellect and moral rectitude are more than often found in the ranks of the infidel.
May God use this letter to strike some intellectually infidel mind, and lead him to the study of the Scriptures. The cure for much is the study of the Word of God itself.
A young infidel of the shallow type once asked a minister in a condescending way if he could recommend him what books to read that would convince him of the truth of the Bible.
The minister quietly answered, “The Bible.”
“Oh! but you don’t understand,” replied the young man. “I asked you to tell me what book you would recommend me to read to prove the truth of the Bible.”
“I quite understand your question,” said the minister, and my reply is, “The Bible.” Wise answer.
Would it be better to be the Astronomer Royal, to know the distance the sun is from the earth, to be able to map out the heavens, explain the orbits of the planets and a thousand abstruse things, and —die UNSAVED, or to be that illiterate old toothless woman in the workhouse, knowing the Lord as her Saviour, rejoicing in God’s great salvation, and die —SAVED? We would not undervalue true science and knowledge, but oh! to value aright the Word of God, to receive its message, to believe its story of God’s love and Christ’s work. This is, indeed, true wisdom.
Reader, have you believed these things yet?
A. J. P.