It is truly a mercy of the Lord if our children grow up with a desire to follow the Lord.
Remembering those early years, so many failures come to my mind. But the Lord knew how to discipline us as parents by not allowing us to make a lot of money to spoil the children. Another way was in not allowing our children to be popular, just ordinary precious children. Looking back, I can see why this discipline was so necessary in my case, and I praise the Lord for His faithfulness.
Remember that children have feelings like we do. If we have allowed them to get overtired because we are occupied with visiting or working, can we blame them for getting cross? It helps to be understanding.
As they grew a little older, I remembered my mother saying to always keep track of where your children are and what they are doing — “vigilance without suspicion.” Make every effort to teach them the fear of the Lord (Prov. 9:1010The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. (Proverbs 9:10)) while they are young, so that they realize that the Lord knows their every thought and action, whether the parents see or not. Remind them that the Lord who loves them is grieved by disobedience and is glorified by anything they do for Him.
One thing we tried to practice was that after a necessary punishment, the children needed to apologize on their own before happy fellowship with Dad and Mom was restored. If they wronged others it was necessary to verbally apologize to them. What happiness is restored to the offender (1 John 1:77The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe. (John 1:7))!
“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child” (1 Cor. 13:11). We can’t hurry this process and expect maturity before the time. Each child is an individual and may show maturity at different ages.
It was a joy when the children grew to be friends with their siblings and their parents. We had very enjoyable camping trips together. It was a time when Dad was free to spend time with his children. Everyone could work together, play together, read stories together, and sing together to make it a happy time. It was a learning experience to put up with inconveniences, and to do their share of the work.
My parents had a plaque hanging on their wall with words of wisdom that I have often referred to:
Things to Aim at Prayerfully
Firmness without severity
Tenderness without weakness
Vigilance without suspicion
Service without servility
Liberty without license
Friendship without familiarity
— W. Barker