“A soft answer turneth away anger.”
Esau and Jacob had a quarrel. Esau was the stronger, and Jacob was the offender, and Jacob had to run away from home. Years passed by, and they had never made it up. Years passed by, and they were both of them grown up into men, and still there was no peace between them.
Jacob became rich, and then the longing came to him to go back to the old country and see the old home once more.
On the way, the angels of God met him. What they said to him I can only guess. I think it was something like this, “Before you see the old man Isaac, your father, first be reconciled to your brother, Esau.”
So Jacob turned aside to Esau’s home, and sent messengers to tell him that he was coming to ask his forgiveness. But the messengers brought back the bad news that Esau had heard of his being close at hand, and was coming to meet him with four hundred armed men.
Jacob did not know what to do. He thought that it was all over with any chance of making up the quarrel. But he did not run away this time. He prayed God to show him the wisest thing to do. And then, getting up from his knees, he chose a splendid lot of ewes and rains, and goats, and camels, and cows and bulls, and sent them as a present to Esau. He thought that was the best way to prove to his brother that he was sorry. It was a hard thing for him to do, for he had worked many years to get all those cattle together. It was a noble gift. But still nobler was the desire to end the quarrel.
Esau’s heart was touched by Jacob’s generosity. He was a careless, good-natured giant of a fellow. All the keenness of his anger had long since gone. A grudge was left, no doubt, but a present so big and rich as Jacob sent showed that he was really sorry, and the grudge went clear out of his heart when he saw his brother. He simply ran to meet him, and put his arms round his neck and kissed him. And they wept together.
I have heard that builders, when they want to lay one fine polished block of marble on another, so that the edges touch one another exactly without getting chipped, put lumps of sugar at the corners and along the edges, then lower the marble, and adjust it till they get it into the right position except for the sugar. Then they wet the sugar, and lower the marble again; the sugar melts, and the two blocks are left exactly together. Whether that is so or not, I am not workman enough to say, but it sounds all right, and seems a very artful thing to do.
But this I do know; it is the best way to end a quarrel, and to get two friends square with one another again. Suppose your friend is very cross with you, because you have offended him. He is snappy and disagreeable, whenever you try to speak to him. What are you to do? Naturally, you think you’ll be just as cross, and give snarl for snarl, and angry word for angry word. But that is to own yourself beaten. It is another way of saying that you cannot end the quarrel, so you will make it worse. Angry words will only make him more angry. But try the sugar. Try what sweetness will do. Find out a way of doing him a good turn. You are his friend, you know what he likes best. See that he gets it. Return a smile for the frown, courtesy for rudeness, good temper for anger. You may not win at first. But you will win. Temper is nine-tenths of Christianity. That is to say, it is nearly all of it good temper, kindness, generosity, peaceable-ness, patience. We sing about “Gentle Jesus, meek and mild,” and yet we do not always remember that all the sweetness and the light and the goodness in our land has come from this same “Gentle Jesus.”
One afternoon, I went to see some military sports. Among the interesting things I saw, there was a swordsman, who showed us what could be done with a strong and skillful hand. They hung up the whole body of a sheep, and with one blow of his sword he cut it right through the back, so that one-half remained hanging, and the other fell to the ground. Then they placed an apple on a boy’s outstretched hand, and with a stroke of his sword he divided the apple into two pieces without so much as touching the hand. Again they placed an apple on the back of a boy’s neck, with the same result. But there was one thing which he did not attempt, a feat which ancient swordsmen are said to have accomplished. And that is the hardest feat of all, to cut through a pillow of soft down. That requires the greatest skill of all, because the softness of the down turns the edge of the sword.
“Is every word of the Bible true?” a girl once asked her mother.
“Why do you ask?”
“Because the Bible says, ‘A soft answer turneth away anger,’—and when Annie spoke to me in a rage, I gave her a soft answer, but it didn’t make any difference.”
The Bible does not promise that it will always succeed, in every case and at once. But it is the best way. A soft answer is a shield from which arrows fall away harmless. Mohammed and Ali, his friend, were out walking. They met an old man who began to abuse Ali. At first he bore it patiently and silently, but at last he gave way, and answered back, scorn for scorn. Then Mohammed left him. Ali was offended, and when he met Mohammed again, he said, “Why did you leave me alone to hear that man’s abusive speech?”
Mohammed said, “Ali, while you were silent, I saw ten angels round you, who answered for you. But when you began to be angry, one by one the angels left you, and I also came away.”