ONE cold October evening, I was returning from a trip in the highlands, and having made myself comfortable in the train, quickly fell asleep. Being roused, however, at a junction, I deemed it wise to spend the twenty minutes which we had to wait in pacing up and down the platform to warm my feet, before resuming the long, cold night-journey. While doing so I was accosted by a fellow-passenger, and I recognized a familiar face. We walked up and down together till the train came up, and then I asked him to come into my compartment. Finding that he was not so well provided with rugs as I was, and that he had felt chilled during the first part of the journey, I threw my rug over him, and in a little while we had settled down to a friendly chat.
My companion turned out to be an old railway servant on leave, using his pass to visit distant lines, and to see old friends. As he was in plain clothes I had not at first recognized a man whom for twenty years I had been accustomed to see frequently—the gatekeeper at our railway station.
It was not many minutes before he spoke of the Lord, and finding a ready response, went on to tell of God's dealings with him. I drew him on to give me some account as to the way in which he had been brought to the Savior, and how, in the position he occupied, he could now witness for his Master.
“Well," he said, “it might be twenty-three years ago that I heard a sermon in the village where I live that had a strange effect on me. I did not understand much of it, but God used what I heard to awaken me by His Holy Spirit, and from that moment I felt there was a need in my heart unmet, a something which I did not possess, and which some had. Eight years passed away, and I more or less went on in sin, living in the world, and amongst the children of disobedience. The devil had dominion over me, and if sometimes, when alone, I felt a desire after better things, my surroundings and ungodly associates seemed a chain that nothing could break.
"About fifteen years ago, God in His mercy again aroused me, sending His word home with great power to my soul, so that I realized as never before my lost and condemned condition. I could see nothing for me but God's just wrath, and all hope of mercy was gone; I was in a state of the deepest anxiety. I scarcely dared open my Bible, for all I read seemed against me. A little book, which spoke of the blood of Jesus, fell into my hands about this time; but although, on reading it, I could see there was a way of salvation for others, I yet did not dare to hope it was for so great a sinner as myself. My distress increasing, I went to my minister, who tried to comfort me by assuring me that it must be partly physical, and that there was no cause for any undue alarm, reminding me of my consistent life and good character; but this did not help me. My companions saw that I was under great mental depression, and some tried after their fashion to cheer me up, while others upbraided me for taking up foolish notions, telling me I should end by becoming a revivalist, or salvationist, or something worse. My agony of mind, however, only increased night and day: I tried to read little bits of my Bible, or of tracts or good books, and I repeated all the prayers I knew hundreds of times.
“One night my misery came to a climax. I could not sleep, and rising from my bed, I dressed and set out walking round by the docks and the sea-beach; and the devil, making a last pull to get me, suggested I should cast myself in my despair into the sea. At length, tired out, I reached the railway station. You know the seat outside of it, where the porters sit? Well, I dropped down on it, absolutely worn out, body and mind. ‘What must I do to be saved?’ was constantly my question. Undone, lost, condemned, hopeless! I could do nothing, and my heart was breaking. I began to weep hot, bitter tears. Then there came a change, and the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, gave me to see all God's ways of salvation: to him that worketh not, but believeth on Him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.' (Rom. 4:55But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. (Romans 4:5).) I saw that He had had mercy upon me; that He was not as I had feared, an enemy, but a friend; He had loved me, and had provided for me a full and free salvation in Christ Jesus. And I looked up, and blessed and praised Him for His love to me; my terrible burden was gone, and my heart was full with new-born gratitude.
"It was not long before I told my friends of the joy and peace I had in believing, but they did not seem to think much of it. Some said they did not believe in these sudden changes, others that they would wait and see how it turned out.
“My comrades met me that night, and wanted me to go with them, but I said, 'I have a Father, and I want to hear what my new-found Father has to say to His son,' so I left them and went to a meeting, and they let me go. I had already found a new friend in one man in the service, who was a child of God.
“They tried to make a fool of me sometimes. Once when we were waiting for a train, they crowded up to the gate—all the porters and hotel men, and one of them sang
'Come, all ye jolly shepherds';
and then they called on me for a song, and in a moment God gave me the right one, and I sang—
‘Come, ye sinners, poor and wretched.'
They never asked for another, and some of them came to me afterwards and said, ' We did not know that you were of that kind.'
“I often get a word with those who pass the gate. Sometimes they take it kindly, and sometimes they are angry; a thrust of the two-edged sword soon tells whether they are for Christ or not.
"A gentleman came up one day, and begged me to let him pass, ‘Although,' he said, 'I have nothing to show, nothing to give you, no ticket.' I said, ‘I will let you pass, for these are the very terms on which my Lord Jesus received me.' He said nothing, but has never looked at me since.
“I get a chance word often to sad hearts, full of grief at parting with loved ones, and I show them a little sympathy and kindness for my Master's sake. I cannot preach, but I can just give the word when He gives it to me. I often think, as I stand there, of One who said, 'I am the Door,' and I try to point some to Him.
" One day the old station-master put his hand on my shoulder, and said, ‘Well, they speak about their reformations, and their good templarism, and all that kind of thing, but I like best to see what the grace of God can accomplish in a man.' I could not speak, for I felt my heart full, as I remembered what I was when he knew me first, and what God had done for me. I knew he meant it was God's grace in me, and I thanked God for it."
Thus talking, the time passed away, and when our journey ended, I felt that I had received more than I had given, for if I had added to the comfort of my fellow-passenger, he had cheered my heart, and given me fresh cause to praise the God of Salvation. J. S.