My Dear Young Friend,
I was not sorry to hear of your distress of soul. It must soon give place to peace and joy. Many, alas! are not distressed enough, who have good reason to be so; but Satan succeeds in keeping their eyes so firmly bandaged, that the light is effectually shut out, and they see not their danger. Have you ever thought of that solemn passage in 2 Cor. 4:22But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. (2 Corinthians 4:2) " But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost; in whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them." Here, you will observe, the gospel is compared unto " light," which is self-evident, yet they see it not, though it is shining around them, because of the blinding of Satan, the god of this world. I am always thankful to hear of persons being concerned about the safety of their souls. I know what the issue will be. It is, generally speaking, the pathway to perfect and eternal repose. Nevertheless, we must bear in mind, that our distress, however great, forms no part of the ground of our acceptance, or in any way recommends us to, or fits us for, the presence of God. The work of Christ is the only ground of acceptance.
Your perplexities, my dear friend, like those of many others, flow from the common mistake of looking to yourself, and being occupied with what is going on there. From what you say, I should judge, that your distress arises from the presence, not the " absence," of God's Holy Spirit. I dare say you will be surprised at my saying so, as you speak so much about the " teaching " and " enlightening " of the Holy Spirit. It is perfectly true, that He is " the Comforter," and that without His teaching, we should remain in ignorant of divine things; and without His enlightening, we should remain in darkness. Still, I hardly think you rightly understand the true character and effects of the Spirit's action by the truth in the soul. By His light and teaching, you get the knowledge, not merely of good and evil, but the knowledge of the difference between the two. This is conscience before God, namely, the knowledge of the difference between good and evil. Now, when the conscience gets occupied with the evil in place of the good, or, in other words, with self, in place of Christ, it must be in trouble. And the aim of the enemy will always be, to get the eye turned in upon self, in place of up to Christ, the true object of faith.
There is a great difference, between what we may call the testimony of God as to what we are before Him, in Christ, and the testimony of the Spirit as to what we are in ourselves. Both, of course, are perfectly true, and each is important in its own place. But I shall try and explain what I mean; and first, as to the testimony of God.
1. He testifies as to what we are in His presence, through the efficacy of the work of Christ for us. He sees the believer as that work has made him, and not as he thinks of himself, judging from his own feelings. For any one to say that the believer is not perfect in the sight of God, would be to deny His word, and cast an indignity on the sacrifice of Christ. In virtue of that blessed work, every believer, the least as well as the greatest, is placed in the holy presence of God, without a single spot or stain, and so fitted to be there forever. " For Christ also hath suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God." (2 Peter 3:1818But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen. (2 Peter 3:18).) Now, mark the expression, that He might bring us to God. That means, to the knowledge of God-to the favor, the friendship, the presence, and the enjoyment, of God forever. " The just one " took our place, that we might get His. He having once suffered and died for our sins, we now stand before God as complete and perfect as the work of our divine Substitute can make us. " For by one offering he hath perfected forever them that are sanctified." (Heb. 10:1414For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified. (Hebrews 10:14).) When this all-important truth is understood, and kept before the soul, its distress and troubles all vanish, and it is filled with the peace and rest of God. To a newly converted soul, this is indeed an immensely important point. I am most anxious to have your attention fully drawn to it; for I know that the testimony of your own experience, to which you are so prone to look, will just be the opposite of God's.
2. The feelings and experience of the believer himself, through the work of the Holy Spirit in him, are exactly the opposite of peace and rest. " For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary the one to the other; that ye should not do those things which ye would." (Gal. 5:1717For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. (Galatians 5:17).) The presence of the Spirit in the soul produces conflict. He discovers sin there, and many things that are unlike Christ, and contrary to the word of God; things which, of course, we should seek to mortify. But if these things occupy us before we know that Christ has put them away, our distress may be very great. And if the conscience is kept lively, its anguish will continue until we see the completeness of our forgiveness, justification, and acceptance, through faith in the precious blood of Jesus. Now, my dear friend, such a discovery of the true character and utter worthlessness of the flesh, ought to make us very humble, but it ought not to fill us with doubt and despair. For, be assured, all the evil which the Spirit reveals, has been put away by the cross of Christ, out of God's sight forever. And that which He has put away can never be brought up against you. When this blessed truth is seen, instead of being cast down, and questioning your forgiveness and salvation, you will, every day, be learning more and more of the fullness, perfectness, and blessedness of Jesus and His finished work, and your own good-fornothingness. You will be taught, not to think less of sin, but more of Christ.
But now, what is the Spirit's testimony to Christ, and to His finished work on our behalf? Does He not testify, by His presence in the believer's soul, that He who was on the cross for us is now on the throne as Head of His body the church? Blessed truth! our sins are all put away, and we are one with Christ in glory, through the presence, power, and in-dwelling of the Holy Ghost in us. " He that is joined to the Lord is one Spirit." We have eternal life in Him The great thing is to get the eye off self, to " have no confidence in the flesh," and to be wholly occupied with a risen, ascended, and glorified Christ at God's right hand.
We have a striking illustration of the flesh and the spirit, in the two sons of Abraham, Ishmael and Isaac. The true character of Ishmael was manifested by the presence of Isaac. We hear nothing of the naughtiness of the former, until after the latter was born. But the bond-woman and her son were to be cast out, for the son of the bond-woman could not be heir with the son of the free woman. (Gen. 21; Gal. 4) This was grievous to the heart of Abraham. It was a hard struggle with nature to cast them out. But Isaac was the sole heir of his father Abraham. The mere child of nature can never be heir to a single promise. Christ is the heir of every promise, and we are joint heirs with Him. But, blessed be God, we are, by faith, His children, and His heirs too, in the full credit of Christ Himself. For, " if children, then heirs; heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ." (Rom. 8:1717And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. (Romans 8:17).) When thus we have learned to be done with the pretensions of nature, and occupied with the rights and titles of Christ, our struggling, labor, and trouble of conscience will be at an end. Depend upon it, my dear friend, this is the cause of all your distress. We struggle hard, to take, at least, a part of self into heaven with us. But no! God says it must be cast out. The " strait gate " is only wide enough for Christ to pass through, and the " narrow way " is only broad enough for Him to walk in. So we must be content to leave self outside, and enter, simply, in Christ. But oh! many a long, hard, and weary struggle we have, before we are convinced that self can never get through.
Let your mind dwell much on the word of God as to your position, standing, and acceptance in Christ. Surely it is enough, when God Himself testifies as to your cleanness in His sight, through the precious blood of His own beloved Son. You will now see the point I desire to press on your consideration, namely, the testimony of scripture as to what we are in the presence of God, compared with our own experience.
Take one example more. When Moses speaks of the children of Israel as they were in his sight, what does he say? " Thou art a stiff-necked people.... from the day that thou didst depart out of the land of Egypt, until ye came into this place, ye have been rebellious against the Lord." (Deut. 9:6, 76Understand therefore, that the Lord thy God giveth thee not this good land to possess it for thy righteousness; for thou art a stiffnecked people. 7Remember, and forget not, how thou provokedst the Lord thy God to wrath in the wilderness: from the day that thou didst depart out of the land of Egypt, until ye came unto this place, ye have been rebellious against the Lord. (Deuteronomy 9:6‑7).) What a testimony! and from God's own witness in the midst of the people. But what does God say about this same people? " He hath not beheld iniquity in Jacob, neither hath he seen perverseness in Israel." (Num. 23:2121He hath not beheld iniquity in Jacob, neither hath he seen perverseness in Israel: the Lord his God is with him, and the shout of a king is among them. (Numbers 23:21).) Amazing truth! What a testimony from the holy One of Israel! But how, you may ask, can both statements be true? Moses states what the people were in their nature and practical ways: God declares what they are in His sight, in virtue of the blood of atonement. Observe, God does not say, there is no iniquity in Jacob, but that " he had not beheld it." There was plenty there, sure enough, but, typically, they were a redeemed people, and under the shelter of the blood of the Lamb. And the Lord had said, " When I see the blood I will pass over you." He could not see both the iniquity and the blood that was shed to wash it away. His eye rested on the blood of the Lamb, and not on the iniquity of the people. He looked at them " from the top of the rocks:" Moses, from the plains below. But, nevertheless, when God dealt with them in government, it was another thing. Then He chastened them for their iniquity and perverseness. When Christ had accomplished the work of redemption, according to the glory of God, we hear Him saying, " Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are." (John 17) He brings the redeemed ones back, and lays them on the heart of the Father, who now receives them as children, watches over and disciplines them; but it is as a father with the children, He sees no sin on them. The Son has fitted them for the bosom of the " Holy Father," and then He says they are " clean every whit."
May your weary soul now know the sweet repose-the perfect, eternal rest, which the bosom of the Father gives.
Ever, most faithfully and affectionately, yours in Christ,