My school days were nearly over. As it was my last term, I was anxious to succeed in all points, but to my great disappointment, it seemed that I was doing just the opposite. What could be the matter? What was the reason of my failures? The Lord wanted to convict me of my sinful state.
For years the ancient serpent, the devil, who deceives the whole world, had succeeded in lulling my conscience to sleep, and persuading me that I was better than most girls of my age, and, like the generation of whom Agur speaks in Proverbs 30:1212There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. (Proverbs 30:12), I was pure in my own eyes. The Spirit of God found me in that state. I was struck one morning with the reading of the third chapter of John’s Gospel. Over and over again the words of the Lord Jesus,
“Ye must be born again,” came back to me. At last, as each Monday we had to learn by heart a verse of the Bible, I took this verse, hoping that my teacher would ask me what had made me choose it; but she only said,
“That is a nice verse.”
I should have liked to tell her what was on my mind at the end of the lesson, but I had not the courage.
Time went on, and I left it at that. But God was leading me in a way which I knew not. One morning the words;
“Ye must be born again” came into my mind as I was going into the hall; I fancied I could see them in shining letters in front of me. How could I recite my lessons with this fixed in my mind? And this particular morning there were some difficult subjects. When I came to the science lesson, the words,
“Ye must be born again” seemed to cover the page. I could not answer a word when I was asked a question. When the others had gone out at the end of the lesson, the teacher kept me in to question me again. All was in vain; I wept bitterly; my heart was sore troubled.
A short time afterward I left school, apparently happy and full of spirits, but really downcast and sad in my heart. Had not the Holy Spirit been convicting one of sin? Not so long ago I was a brilliant scholar, well satisfied with myself, and now I was lost and in despair! I had nothing before me but hell. What deep despair! I dared not sleep at night for fear of waking up in torment. It seemed impossible that God, or anyone else, could love me. But my salvation was near.
One Lord’s day evening, at the meeting, I heard words of grace concerning the forgiveness of sins through faith in Jesus, and I understood, I saw clearly that Jesus had been crucified for my sins. On going back to the house I ran to my room, and, on my knees, I thanked the Lord for having led me there. Receiving Jesus I was born of God. John 1:12,1312But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: 13Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. (John 1:12‑13).
What a change in my life! Old things had passed away, and all things had bome new. New thoughts and desires now filled my heart. The Bible seemed to open before me as never before. It used to seem such a dry book, I was surprised to find it so interesting. Now I understood; as a new-born babe I drank eagerly the “sincere milk of the Word” (1 Peter 2:22As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: (1 Peter 2:2)).
Satan suggested many doubts to my mind; was I really saved? If saved, might I be lost again? But the words of the Lord Jesus,
“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of My hand” (John 10:27,2827My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. (John 10:27‑28)), gave me confidence, and the assurance that I was saved forever.
And now, dear children, these words, “Ye must be born again,” have they entered your heart and conscience? Or is your mind still blinded by the god of this world? Do you not know that you need to become a new creature in Christ Jesus? It is only in the presence of God that we can understand our sinful state, and it is also in that Presence that we can understand all the love of the Lamb of God, who takes away our sins. To those who received Him, He gave the right to be children of God.
ML 10/11/1942