IT was in 18—, and I, a young man of twenty I, years of age, was wandering up that lonely valley in Cornwall, cast upon this selfish world without a single friend.
My mother was worse than a widow, for the one who should have been her support was carelessly and wildly spending his days in a foreign land.
Onwards I wandered, with a heart full of sorrow; come to my last resource in this world.
God intended it for my blessing. He never intended aught else for His rebellious creature man, though man has hard thoughts of His ways.
I felt my position, and fell down under that railway arch, and not a single eye but God's saw me. Thus was God working to reduce my rebellious heart. But I still resisted, had hard thoughts of God's dealings with men, and relapsed once more into the routine of the "class-meeting." Religious darkness came upon me.
The Lord in mercy supplied my need, till, having married, I resolved to try my luck in a foreign land, and secured enough to defray the voyage in that dark land of Mexico. Arriving there I had "spent all," and again groaned beneath severe want and trial; but God in mercy raised up help.
Being once again delivered from pressing want, I settled down, gave up all thoughts of God; indeed, turned a thorough infidel in things appertaining to God and eternity.
Many sorrows came upon me in Mexico. God took away some dear to me. A dear brother I sent for died, and I could not point him to the Saviour, not knowing. Him myself. The land was infested with banditti, so much so that we (English) "carried our lives in our hands," as people say. The turning-point came as to removing from that dark land. I will relate it.
About four thousand banditti were banded together to rob and plunder the English settlement. The Government of the country sent out fifteen hundred troops to disperse them.
The chiefs of the robbers, finding they had to fight, and to incite their men, promised them that if they won, and beat back the troops, they should sack the place. We knew this meant death to the foreigners, and prepared for flight to the mountains.
The battle raged for four hours, and finally the disciplined troops charged with the steel, and dispersed the banditti, to our salvation. The scene that followed was heart-rending, some in the agonies of death crying Santissima Maria," or "Holy Virgin Mary," and I was not able to direct them to the alone Saviour.
I resolved not to remain in Mexico longer, but to return, if haply I might find what I did not then possess, for God in mercy again troubled my conscience, and gave me to know all was not right by what happened to a young man who had sent home to England for the young person whom he was just about to marry; while standing by my side, a native shot him through the head.
I thought to myself, “Suppose that I were shot, where would my soul be?”
Having remained in Mexico about five years, I left for England. I had many narrow escapes traveling through the country toward the coast, Vera Cruz being the port for taking boat for the old country. The robbers fired into the diligencia, or mail-coach, killing one and wounding two; but I was yet spared to be brought out of darkness into God's marvelous light. Why, was I spared? "Oh!" I exclaim often, as I look back over my short but eventful life, “it was God's pure mercy.”
I arrived in England in October, 18—, got a situation in London, and while residing at T— in the northern suburbs of that great city, my wife and I resolved to seek “a place of worship." She was converted when fifteen years of age, under the godly care, of a pious schoolmistress. I knew she had something I had not.
There was an aching void in my soul that none but Christ could fill.
We wandered to this church and to that chapel, to hear this eloquent preacher and that renowned orator, but all in vain. Finally we heard of a Mr. Hat a very simple preaching-room.
I longed for this "water of life." I had been called upon to pray in class-meetings, had been teaching in schools, reading the prayers and burial service over dear men killed and dying in Mexico; and with all this religiousness, mixed with unbelief, I had never tasted “this water of life." I longed for it, Sunday came round. I was on that bench once more, listening to the same story of grace and love. God was working in my soul, a work that was to have its results in my soul's salvation to His glory and the praise of His grace by Christ Jesus.
There was no rest for my soul. The world seemed dark to me. My sins were heavier than I could bear. I had been priding myself upon my morality and religion. But, oh! if examined in His presence, and by the light of His Word, what was it? All dross.
The next day my wife and I were walking out, when suddenly Mr. H— accosted us, and asked us where we lived. Giving him the address, we parted. It was the preacher who had the "something" I longed for. I hoped to see him again; and while pondering over my sad life, Mr. H— was introduced to me at my house.
His first question was, as if he knew that “repentance unto life "was going on in my soul, “Do you know the Lord?”
This wasp the question.
My wife replied, hesitatingly, "Yes.”
We were accustomed to “Do you meet in class?” “What denomination do you belong to?" or, "Are you a member of a society?”
Never were we asked such a word as “Do you know the Lord?”
“Very personal," says one.
Yes, and I bless God for this faithful question to me. Oh! how Satan tried to keep up a “religious vein," to keep out the person of Christ, the alone wav to God.
I shall never forget that visit of this faithful servant of the Lord. He seemed to know his man and his work, and went straight at it, and God was glorified; for after he left, I went to my room, cast myself down to the floor, and in an agony of soul cried out, " Lord, I deserve hell, but Christ has died "; and in an instant I had heaven; yes, Christ was seen by faith as my Saviour.
Instead of hell, I got Christ, and God's love shed abroad in my heart by His Holy Spirit; and, blessed be God, I have had heaven in my soul ever since; peace, too, amidst many trials and conflicts which have surrounded my pathway here below. It is now a wilderness world to me, though once I had no hope beyond it. (Rom. 5:1-61Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: 2By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. 6For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. (Romans 5:1‑6).)
That night my soul was made glad, and all heaven resounded at the salvation of the lost; and on my pillow I could not help shedding tears, not of sorrow as before, but of joy and gladness and praise to God for His wondrous love to me.
The next morning by "break of day" I got my pen, and wrote a line to the dear servant of God, apprising him of my salvation; for salvation it was, and nothing less, and confession made to His praise and to the magnifying of Him who loved me, and gave Himself for me. (Gal. 2:2020I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20).)
Dear reader, are you saved? Are you dwelling in darkness or in the light? It must be in one or the other. Or is Satan telling you, "It is all a myth; there is no eternal woe or joy to come?" This is his old tale to me. Don't you believe all came by chance, and that the world always was and ever will be as it is now. Don't believe the fallacy of the wicked one, who tells men that no God would create a wicked world, groaning and full of sin and death as this is. Not so, my friend; such thoughts are trash. Man sinned, but this now groaning world, this once fair creation of God, will yet bear the stamp of His glory, and righteousness and truth and peace shall cover its surface. (Isa. 11:32)
Where will you be then? I shall, with millions besides, be with God's Christ, viewing His never-to-be-told-out glory, and blessing His name forever. All may look fair for the present moment, but the purifying storm of judgment must very soon pass over this blighted world, for the day will yet be when it shall be fit for God himself to dwell in. (Zeph. 3:88Therefore wait ye upon me, saith the Lord, until the day that I rise up to the prey: for my determination is to gather the nations, that I may assemble the kingdoms, to pour upon them mine indignation, even all my fierce anger: for all the earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy. (Zephaniah 3:8).)
May this humble little narrative of God's ways with me stir up His servants to more earnestness for the salvation of souls, and in His rich mercy may He deign to use it in making others look back over their eventful lives, and see God's mercy in sparing them to be brought out of darkness into His marvelous light, to His eternal praise and their everlasting blessing!
C. M. H.